Calintay Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 My mom who turned 45 Sept 25 was just diagnosed with non-small cell lung cancer in stage IIIA. She was a smoker for 30 years and has since quit. We are a very close family. Doctors said she has a 35 to 40% chance of survival. She is thinking about having electromagnetic field treatment done in Mexico anyone know much about that kind of treatment? Also can someone suggest how I can deal with the emotions she is having. She is angry, sad, scared and anxious all in a matter of minutes. Does anyone have words of encouragement or ways that I can help her through her hard times? Thanks [/b] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Hi. I am so sorry about your Mom having a recent diagnosis. I am, however, glad that you have found this site. Your Mom's emotions are very normal for someone who has had a life-threatening diagnosis! I think you named all of the emotions very well. I put all of them under the generalized simpler category of FEAR. Even the anger. Anger sometimes comes out as a cover for the feeling underneath it. It is almost always fear. Anger is a disguise for other emotions. What do you do about it? You listen. You are probably just as scared as she is right now. Maybe you can get her to listen to your fears as well. But, right now, if she can vent her emotions, then they won't get stuck and she will be able to move beyond her fears and to a place of action and eventually acceptance. This is just the beginning of the journey for you. You can expect that there will be many emotions that will come up over and over again. For you, I want to wish you patience and empathy. Your family will be going through some trying times. Try to keep the lines of communication open. Good luck to you and your mom on your journey toward health. all my best. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SandyS Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Bring her here to talk thru all this with us - we'll take care of her! And of course you're always welcome when you need support too! SandyS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Call the ACS and line up an appointment with a cancer counselor for her (and for you, too). She'll be able to vent her feelings with someone that can help her to work through them. They're all normal feelings....she just shouldn't get stuck in any of the stages. Once she has reached acceptance, she can work on healing and fighting. Not accepting a death sentence, but accepting the fact that she has cancer - and go from there. Take care, Becky P.S. She has already reached "Survivor" status. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Hold onto the hope. My wife was diagnosed with NSCLC, Stage IV, and told she had about 9 months to live. She is now in her 25 month of survival and doing pretty well. Hang in there. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Christine Posted December 16, 2004 Share Posted December 16, 2004 Hi Calintay. My mom too was recently diagnosed, so I understand what you're feeling. This is a great place to be if you're looking for information and support. I'm unfamiliar with electromagnetic field treatment, however there is a fair chance someone else here does. I wish you the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justakid Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 Calintay- Welcome, sorry you have to be here. I have not heard of the procedure your mother is going to have so I'm no help there. Everything that she is feeling is perfectly normal, I was diagnosed in April 2004 and think that I may finally have come to grips with it now (December 2004). It's difficult to accept. Keep us posted! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 I would just like to welcome you here. I'm sorry I don't have any information about the treatment you mentioned . As far as, the emotions, I am sure every person that has a life threatening illness will experience emotions from a-z. I tend to be like your mom. One minute I'm laughing and the next minute I'm crying. Actually, most of us, patients and caregivers alike, find this experience to be an emotional roller coaster at times. Let me just reassure you that you have found a very kind , compassionate group here . I hope someone will be able to give you information that will help . Sending prayers... sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 Hi Catlin, I don't have any information about that treatment either, but I did want to say hello and welcome you to our website. You will find everyone here friendly and helpful. WELCOME! God bless you, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calintay Posted December 17, 2004 Author Share Posted December 17, 2004 Thanks everyone for your prayers and support. My mom goes to the Doc. tommorrow to find out when she starts her chemo and radiation. Tumor size is approxiamately 8 cm. on top right lobe of lung. Doctor says it is in a favorable spot. Even though she has been diagnosed with this she can possibly be cured but if not cured she can live with it for years? I am going to tell her about this site, but I fear she will be mad at me for doing this (she is apprehensive about internet). Any suggestions on how to bring this up and also anyone willing to offer her some encouraging stories? Thanks all. Happy Holidays. Calintay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 Calin, Welcome!!! You have found the site with a lot of support. You will be a ble to find answers from oncdoc, theresa (real docs and nurses) and other peoples experiences too. If you can tell us more about your mom, stage and type. WE are here for you, please keep us posted on how she is doing and you too... Blessings and prayers, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ken f. Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 hi, it is difficult to deal with the emotions of others but you sound like you know how to keep in mind that you are dealing with someone sick. my lady has called me a number of things including agitated depression when i go to far. the people here will provide some help if she is computere oriented and will follow here. most cancer centers have some sort of wellness program for patients and for caregivers and you might follow such with her doctor or nurse. there are resources but they don't generally come calling on you. best of luck and relish each moment and development. they are all we really have. love, ken Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 I am sad to hear about your mom's diagnosis. Her emotions are normal. There is one thing in your post that worried me however. If I were you I would look at conventional treatments and have them before I went off to mexico for some new "dream". Have your mother get two opinions and another if she is not satisfied. I would, if at all possible, have surgery, chemo and radiation. These are all important parts of getting well and staying that way. I wish you and your mom the very best results. I am not trying to be a wet blanket and am very glad that you found this wonderful site. You will be able to learn about new treatments and others experiences that can help to guide you along the way. Nina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
john Posted December 17, 2004 Share Posted December 17, 2004 I would be wary of treatment in mexico. Especially when they say "Electromagnetic field treatment". Electromagnetic energy can be anything from light, radio waves, x-rays, etc. Radiation therapy is basically electromagnetic energy You could go down to mexico and they shine some sort of laser at your lungs and then charge $10000 (or whatever). You can get reputable referals from ACS or NCI (National Cancer Institue) part of NIH. I think ALCASE does referrals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted December 18, 2004 Share Posted December 18, 2004 Welcome I also would be wary of going to Mexico for treatment. I would do some research on the cancer centers in your area. To offer you lots of hope, my mom was IIIA last Nov and is currently in remission. Don't listen to statistics!! The thoracic surgeon at Cedars Sinai said it best to us, the chances are 50-50 for everyone--either the treatment works, or it doesn't Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa O Posted December 20, 2004 Share Posted December 20, 2004 Caitlin, She has a great deal of hope. Hang in there. Life will find a balance again. This roller coaster is normal at the beginning. We are here for you -- Come back and vent... and bring your mom if she is willing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted December 21, 2004 Share Posted December 21, 2004 Calintay, There is life aftter Stage IIIA diagnosis. Strap in, though, it's a roller coaster. Welcome to the family! XOXOXOXOX Prayers always, MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellakc2 Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Hi! Sorry about your mom. I would be really careful w/ Mexico. The USA has remarkable treatment. Never heard what your mom wants to do. Did anyone bring up surgery if the tumor is in a favorable location. Take a tape recorder to Dr.'s. It's so easy to forget all the data being thrown at you. Good luck and take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted December 30, 2004 Share Posted December 30, 2004 Mexico, NO NO NO!!!!!! Don't even go there in mind or body! Haven't you ever heard of "BUYER BEWARE?" The U.S. has the best treatments available for lung cancer. Not to mention I was a stage IIIA-B 9-1/2 years ago, and I'm still here and cancer free! Please let us know what your mom and you decide on Mexico. There's a reason all those people are crossing the Boarders! God Bless and Good Luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyCW Posted December 31, 2004 Share Posted December 31, 2004 I'm so sorry you have to be here, but wanted to add my welcome to the crowd's. As for going to Mexico, I agree that the U.S. has the best hope of giving your mom the best treatment possible. If you have access to a research hospital (usually one affiliated with a university), please try to get a second opinion there. They're most likely to be up on all the latest research, even if they then refer you to someone more local for the actual treatment. As far as words of encouragement, the best thing might be for her to see how many people are here on this message board who have "beat the odds" and are living their lives. It's always difficult to hear "survival odds" but 1) the odds she was given are actually not so bad (better than the odds many have gotten, who are survivors!), and 2) Every patient either survives 100% or doesn't -- She just needs to convince herself she will be among those 35-40% who DOES. I am thinking of you and your mom and wishing you a New Year that will surprise you with GOOD things. BeckyCW Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted January 1, 2005 Share Posted January 1, 2005 Calintay, Just want to welcome you and yopur mom on the board. Before exploring treatments in Mexico, it would be a lot wiser and safer to learn what is available in the States. Wishing only the best for you in 2005. J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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