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Officially NOT a statistic.


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Lots of discussions over the last year or so about statistics and what they really mean. Well, my stats said that, left untreated, I would live between 8 and 15 months from the time of my dx. Well, today is 15 months. As of today I do not have any symtoms of metastisis to any other major organs. My liver function is normal, no indicator of any mets to the bones or the brain. The major symptoms I do have are the ones I started out with (SOB, cough, muscle weakness (especially in my legs but throughout my body as well)) that have simply gotten worse as time has gone on and that is only to be expected.

To tell the truth I must confess to feeling some "survivors guilt" lately. So many good folks have come here, many after I did, fought this disease with everything they had, and are no longer with us. I hope my situation will not bring any more pain to the loved ones of those folks.

The flip side of that same coin is that I hope my situation can, in some way, calm some of the fears for the new folks here who either read or are told they have a certain amount of time left on this earth. The truth is no one really knows. So I don't let the "stats" control my emotions. After all, the most important "stat" is that I am alive and healthy enough to find some enjoyment in life. All else pails in comparison.

I hope every one had as good a Christmas as it was possible for you to have.


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Dean Carl,

As far as I can tell, you have been a calming influence from day one. I hope you wipe the floor with the statistics for many years to come. Have a wonderful New Year my friend, and I will continue to hope and pray that we will both be here corresponding so that I can wish you many more of those. I feel beating the odds only brings more hope to all. Thanks for sharing your great news Dean.

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You are truly an amazing and inspirational man, Dean Carl. Even though you chose a different path, you've been in there fighting like the rest of us and you, my friend, are winning. Congratulations on your 15 month anniversary and may you and the rest of us continue to "beat the odds", "smash the statistics" and continue to "prove 'em wrong" every step of the way.

Thank you for all you do for us.....


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Please do not feel guilty. I think I can speak for all of the surviving relatives of the deceased when I say that we are glad you are still kicking. I'd trade you in for Becky back, no question, but I'd trade me in for Becky back, too. I don't get to make those decisions, and all in all I am happy about that. It is an exciting day for us when you post. Congratulations on 15 months, and I too hope it is many more.

Please no more guilt. This time is too short for it. We all love you.


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You know what? I am so happy to see this news. Sometimes I wonder if that first chemo my hubbie had made him so ill he couldn't fight it later on. He was a twelve month survivor who lived his life fully one day at a time.

One of his quotes was: "one never knows, do one!"

I'm routing for you all the way.


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Dear Dean Carl and Gay,

I'm so happy to hear from you. Yeah, you did beat the numbers - Great for that. You know what - the numbers mean nothing. We all know that. You are so brave, so strong and you are an inspiration to us all. We all love hearing from you and you make us feel wonderful. We lost many inspirational people Dr. Sam, Greg, Ada, and many others. But your writing have made me and many other people happy and hopeful. I know 2005 will bring you happiness. (((Carl and Gay))).


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I always look forward to your posts and find your words calming. You are right, know one knows for sure. Each case is different, each person is unique and from what I have seen and heard ... the spirit and will make up the part that medicine can not touch. My words do not flow as easily as yours. Just know that your are always in my thoughts and prayers.

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