SDianneB Posted December 27, 2004 Share Posted December 27, 2004 We're at the (almost) end of another year - my how time flies! As the television shows review the top events of the year, I usually reflect on my own. For obvious reasons, 2004 will go down as a monumental year for me. (DUH! ) Perhaps the most amazing thing to me is that I'm ALIVE. I'm feeling good. I'm working. My daily routine wasn't shaken so very much in spite of a serious illness and somewhat toxic treatment. I read Dean Carl's post about "survivor guilt," and said a silent "Amen." I sometimes feel guilty because the chemo/radiation didn't make me sicker -- because I didn't suffer like so many people. Now, I think it's because I was supposed to help others. Someone has to be on their feet and strong, and I guess this time that was me. There will be something in that for me in 2005 -- I just know it. I'm going to see about volunteering at the cancer center where I've been treated, and see where that goes. If nothing else, I may be of help to someone else going through this, and hopefully can devote some time to other lung cancer patients. I will have my comeuppance though, because as I sit here, my hair has started to shed! (Didja hear that, Addie? ) It started a few days ago, and just sheds a little every day. Today, I still have plenty of hair, and you can't tell it's coming out unless you look around my ears, and that is still covered up with hair from the top of my head. At this rate, it will take a month for it to all come out! Guess I'll have to do what Schmaydee did and just have someone shave my head and be done with it. (I figured something was going on, because my scalp began to itch, and I suspect it's a little irritated from the radiation like the sides of my face are.) I'll probably spend NY eve just like I usually do -- alone, and in reflection. It's always been a quiet time for me, and one where I review the year and sort of give myself a grade for the year. Happy New Year to you all, and here's hoping we all make it for as many more as we can! Di Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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