-Cheryl- Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Dear Friends, I was feeling dizzy for the last five days with a headache every morning . I went to the ER and had a head CT. It was found that I have multiple brain tumors, one being 5cm. I called Dr. Cunningham and they will still do the vaccine once the mets are treated. I am sick and frightened more than I have ever been, I do not want to be a burden to anyone and would rather die. I need any encouragement that can be spared. This is my darkest and most desparate moment. I watched my Dad die of brain mets and don't want to die that way. My husband has been very supportive, but I worry about him. I pray that God sees him through this. My brother-in- law found out it is in 98% of his liver, bones, and lungs. My heart goes out to him and his family. I need my LCSC family. Cheryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl, I am so sorry at this turn of events for you. My prayers are definitely with you. Please know that these mets can be treated. There are many here who have gone through this. Take one day at a time and one step at a time. There is more that can be done. You have much support here. Don't forget that. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl, I am so sorry But don't be discouraged, very often the brain mets can be treated and just zapped away and then you will go back to the clinical trial. When do you start treatment? I am praying for strength for you and Jack. You are strong, you can do it! We all love you very much Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimmek Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl I am so sorry I just want to cry, as im sure you are. But this is not the end, just a detour on the road called Cancer. This is something that can be treated, and sounds like your doc doesnt think that it is a problem with your new treatment vaccine. Just a bit delayed. I know this doesnt help you feel better, but know i care, we care, and we are all here for you and for Jack. You are not alone. You are Loved. Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MurielK Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl, I'm so sorry. I'll be praying for you. What's the plan for dealing with the brain mets? Muriel K Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl, I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I don't know much, but it sounds encouraging to me that your doctor says after treating them you can go ahead and do the vaccine treatment. It sounds like even he just sees this as a bump in the road. I am sure those that you love haven't even thought of the word 'burden.' I would suspect that more likely they feel blessed with the priveledge of walking the road with you--through the goods and the bads. Keep fighting and clinging to hope. (((((hugs))))) to you. My prayers are with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debi Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl, It's OKAY to be sick and be frightened, like any of us would be, after getting the shock that you did. I have no doubts that you will get over the shock, and come up swinging. You have fought this disease so hard, with everything you've got, that I have no reservations that you will not only keep fighting, but perservere, once again. When I met you in November, I was so impressed Cheryl, that after all you have been through, how vibrant and strong you are. Your strength will help you through this, once again, along with Jack's support. If there is anything I can ever do for you, please let me know, and I am there (just give me extra time since I'm Dallas driving challenged). In the meantime, know that my thoughts will be with you both, every day.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl, I don't know what to say. I sat here for 5 mintues before I started to type. If I hadn't gotten a PM notification in my email, I probably wouldn't have even checked back here tonight, but I'm glad I did. I want to say something to you, but the words just won't come. A 5 cm. tumor would scare the beejeebees out of me, too. There's just no getting around that fear. I wish there was. I can't help but wonder if they aren't including the edema of that tumor in the measurement. On the film my husband's largest tumor looked like it consumed 1/2 his brain, but it was the edema we were seeing. The headache disappeared 24 hrs. after starting decadron, and the tumor was only 2.2 cm. You've been on here long enough to know that mets can be treated successfully, so I'm not going to go into all that. I just wish there was something I could say to calm your fears. I just don't have any words of my own. Jesus' words are the only ones that come into my head: Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. Hang on tight, Cheryl. Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl,I too am sorry to hear of this setback.But I too am sure it is just another setback that you will treat and handle.You have been thru so much & it seems as it will never ease up for you.But you are strong and Jack is very supportive & I know in my heart that the both of you will deal with this and win. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chloesmom Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl, I am so sorry to hear this news but I am happy to hear that your doctor is still going through with the vaccine treatment. Take a little time to catch your breath, then we're all behind you for your treatments. You will be in all my thoughts and prayers. Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy RN Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 I hate that it has spread!! Nobody expects you NOT to be frightened. my mom died of mets to the brain and I always fear very headache is the beginning for me too. You keep your spirits up and keep us informed of treatment. Love Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmydog2 Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 I just don't know what to say Cheryl. This was as much a shock to me as it was you. I can say one thing tho....You are a fighter and with Jack by your side you are going to give the beast a double dose. Like others have said...this is only a bump in the road. Take one day at a time and know that we are here for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Um, Cheryl, dude-ess! NOT cool! Take a quick time out. Oh no, not a time out from treatment, just a time out to catch your breath that was knocked out of you. You ain't bein' benched for the game, girl, just for a play while you regain your footing. Cry, scream, kick something....cry some more...exhaust yourself in the crying, then pick yer butt up off the floor, shake it off and come out fighting. Sweetie, doesn't matter if you think you'd rather die, Jack ain't gonna let you give up! Lean on him, he's there for you. It SOUNDS promising, the doctor with the vaccine is good to go when the mets are treated! THAT really sounds favorable! C'mon, Cheryl...you've been through worse physical anguish with chemo and surgery and all that other torture, you are going to make it through this, too. Hey, from what I've seen, gamma knife (if that's one of your options and you choose it) doesn't involve stitches/staples/PAIN! Considering what you have already surpassed, it'll be a breeze! Take some "me" time, but keep Jack around to scare off the monsters. Meditate, contemplate...and come back fighting! Wouldn't expect anything less from you... xxoo, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnmynatt Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl, I'm at a lose for words. I am praying for you and Jack. Heavenly Father, give Cheryl and Jack calmness, patience and strength as they deal with this difficult news. Help them both to feel your presence and love. In Jesus' precious name I pray. Amen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenl Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl I am so sorry to hear about the brain mets. It is my worst fear too. In fact, I am sure it is what all of us fear the most, and yet, as has already been mentioned many times, brain mets seem to be the most successfully treated of all the mets. I hope that you are able to overcome your fear and grab onto the hope and positive thinking that has brought you so far. Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl. It might be time to break out the chemicals. That is what I would do right now anyway. Lessens the whammy. None of us likes the sound of brain mets. Yuck. Double Yuck. You have got a stream of supporters here and you can count on me to be here for you and to say some extra hard prayers for success at knocking out those little buggers. I would expect nothing less from you, if it were me... All my best and then a whole bunch more. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Cheryl- Posted December 29, 2004 Author Share Posted December 29, 2004 Dear Folks, So many unknows. I, like many of you, have been throw so much already. I agree, that I must fight for my life now. I do not want to lose my faculties. I feel fairly sound of mind, despite the numerous mets in my brain. I am afraid my personality will be affected by the steroids and mets. I am afraid I won't even know my spouse. I appreciate your support. I know you all have so much to worry about as it is. I am scared of living, not dying. Thank you for your comfort, I don't know where I would turn, if not for you. Please hold my hand and walk beside me. I love you all! Cheryl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haylee_38 Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl, I am so sorry and My thoughts are with you. I know how strong you are and I am sure everything will come out ok. Haylee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
donaf Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl, Please keep fighting as you always have, you are strong and have your loving husband by your side. Sending prayers for strength and good results. Martha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karen335 Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl, I am sorry to read this news. All will be alright, there are so many treatments now for brain mets. You probably do have swelling and the meds will control the swelling. If you want to PM me, please do. I have been through surgery and stereotactic radiation for brain mets, I'm here for you. You are a woman of faith and the Lord will carry you through this bump in the road... God bless, prayers and hugs for you, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nancy B Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl, I am so sorry to hear this - just know that I am praying for you. I am just sure things are going to be OK. You are a fighter and you have got all of us praying and pulling for you. Take care of yourself. Love and hugs, Nancy B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathyr Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl, God only knows we are all praying and pulling for you. If anybody can beat these mets, you can. You and your darling husband. And, they will still include you in the vaccine trial. So many people have come through just fine with eliminating brain mets. You will too!!! We are all here for you today and every day. Alll of us have been so inspired by your spirit to survive. Keep fighting, girlfriend. We are right with you.! Hugs!!! CathyR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Cheryl, Your doctors are as dedicated to your survival and quality of life as you are, and after having learned a bit about this wonderful group of healers I feel confident that you are in good hands. I know you're afraid (there's just something about the words "brain tumor" that strikes to the core of us). But I've known others who had multiple brain tumors (primary and mets) who made it through treatment and the sun still shines on their faces. I'm counting on the sun shining on you and Jack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Holding your hand here. We are with you. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted December 29, 2004 Share Posted December 29, 2004 Dear, dear Cheryl, This is very disheartening news. But your doctors certainly have a positive attitude. They appear to be treating this like the 'bump in the road' all have mentioned. Have they discussed the treatment? Cheryl, Earl had many, many, many brain mets at the end. His personality never changed, he recognized us all and was questioning the answers on Jeopardy two days before he died. The scans showed hundreds of tumors at that time. It is right and normal for you to be both mad and scared. Wallow for a short time and then come back kicking. There are many options open for you and you are young and healthy. Love, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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