Jump to content

Trying to find my fighting spirit


Recommended Posts

My Dear friends,

I am trying hard to find hope and reason to live. It is a struggle, I must say. I do want to live, but quality of life is everything to me. My husband tries to be strong for me, but I can see his fear. His eyes are filled with tears, while telling me "we are going to beat this." He is mad at the world, the doctors, this disease. He feels doctors should lead Ins. Co.s around, and not vise-versa.

I pray Dr. Joe that you are not hurt by any misguided anger. Jack's fear comes off sounding angry. Please know that it is not you he is upset with, it's these big Insurance Companies. We both appreciate your empathy and responses for those dealing with this dreadful disease. Most of our outcomes are grim. But there is always hope.

Dr. Joe, thanks for caring about us. You have made a huge difference! I saw first hand how difficult bearing this horrible news can be on a doctor. My ER Doctor cried when he told me of my diagnosis. I ended up comforting him. He is a human being with emotions first and foremost.

Dr. Joe, I thank you, and come back when you are able. Your loss would be tremendous to the cancer patients and caregivers on this site. Like you said, the news isn't always pleasant, but we need the truth.

God protect you and keep you safe.

Much Love,


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Cheryl, it has been a very rough time for you and one I can only imagine. I pray that your fighting spirit comes through. I myself always found comfort in listening to anything Bernie Siegel has on tape. Just hearing his voice calms me.

In reading Jack's posts, yes, of course he is angry and fearful. It is a natural reaction to grieving any situation. We both know that any situation can put you in the grieving process. I love the quote from "The Pilot's Wife", when the pilot's wife learns of the plane crash---her grandmother tells her

"You have to go through the pain to get to the other side"

Your fighting spirit will surface.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Cheryl, to jump right into a cliche, it's darkest just before dawn. We all know here how these battles go -- we get to where we're feeling decent, then something comes and trips us up so we have to go back under the knife or the needle or the brain toaster, and we don't feel good any more, and have to fight our way back -- again and again.

You have a terrific spirit. It's probably just a bit wounded right now, but it's still there.

Hang in there.


Link to comment
Share on other sites


I never once thought that Jack's response was a personal response to Dr. Joe.

I am saddened that anyone, least of all Dr. Joe, might have construed it in that way.

I saw it as Jack talking about an issue much larger than a response to Dr. Joe. I hope that if you feel up to it that you will check out the link I put on a thread I started. Jack, too. Dr. Joe, as well. It really helped me to see some things more clearly.

I think managed care has also caused a great burden on Drs. Something has to be done and I don't know exactly what. I wish I did.

If Dr. Joe left the board for good, (and I pray he has not) I don't think it was because of ONE thing. I am sure many, many other factors played a part.

On a personal note, I hope you know that we are all standing beside you-- fighting for you, with you and because of you.

No one knows what it is like to be in your shoes, or in the shoes of any of us with this dreaded disease--and different for each of us, too. Likewise, as we don't know what it is like to be in the shoes of primary caregivers.

We are fighting side by side--and if one of us feels weak, then another of us will hold another up.

In this together, always.


Link to comment
Share on other sites

hi cheryl,

i haven't been looking here for a few days and was dismayed by your post. i'm sending you light and softness.

when i first posted here i heard from you and was heartened. everytime i see your photo on the side, i am sure to read that post. this is because you have struck me as a winner. i would that you weren't presented with issues at present.

if it's any use to you, when i first came to accept my situation, i resolved that a principal purpose of my life moving forwardi would show my children, grand children and loved ones how to live and how to die. benefiting them in the way i can will be the most important thing i can do.

love, ken

Link to comment
Share on other sites

dear Cheryl,

It is a very difficult stuggle. We are all in this together.

My mom, 53 yo, has failed Carbo.Taxol first line. It was producing such miserable side effects that she decided to try something else instead of other conventional treatments. We found out about the cancer clinic in Denmark, where she just returned from. She spent three weeks there. I am definitely not saying that is a cure, not at all. But we have seen some very promiding things happen to people after going there, you can read the testimonies on line, they are true! The doctor there has tremendous amount of experience with oncology patients and uses traditional as well as alternative therapies, that do not produce horrible adverse affects. My mom liked her stay there. She is now back, it is too early to say if the treatment is working, but she continues to self-inject every night different medications that she was given there, as well as takes supplements that were prescribed to her. Of course, you have to pay out-of-pocket for these treatments, but I think it is worth it!

Let me know if you want more information about it. You can find them on the web by typing humlegaarden.com.

Best of luck to all, N

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Cheryl, please don't give up. You are a human being with feelings and reactions like everyone. All of us have good times and bad. Keep fighting for the good days. Even in the dark moments there are blessings and funny things to think about. Stay in the saddle. pammie

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.