jcawork Posted January 6, 2005 Share Posted January 6, 2005 Met w/ Onco yesterday and he said lets scan again its been 2 months. I am of course dreading the wait for results. I can't imagine it gets easier-the wait. My cough is so bad (they say from radiation) I have myself convinced its back again etc.... I have done 2 of the 6 CPT-11 (the extra boost doses) and I am loosing steam. I told him that I was loosing steam and I just don't want to do this anymore (7 months). He didn't seem to moved by this I guess he hears it a lot. I still have PCi to do. I just want it to be over, I want it to be better, I want it to never have happened. I am tired and I am fed up. I am sick of trying to have a good attitute. The right attitude. I am also so freaked out when I read the board and people are getting worse. Its horrible, it may also be my fate and I am scared. I know there are some people who are getting better, but the ones who are not really jump off the page. Not only does my heart sink for them and their families, but I feel like I am waiting for the inevitable. Sorry to go on and on. In all these months I had few breakdowns, but I have just had enough of all of this. I want my life back, my hair back-long, my body back. I want a tan, to garden, to look healthy. To feel like my old self. I hear that will never happen again. Will post my results w/ I get them. Jen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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