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Flying Pigs & Fairies


Debi

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Okay, I REFUSE to let Early Stage go a month without someone posting so I will post about me :lol: ......

I had my chest xray the other day and got the news that my lungs (I use the term lungs loosely :wink: ) are clear yesterday. This time was difficult for me, not that the other times aren't, but for some reason I was convinced that I was having symptoms that something was wrong. Also, January marks 2 years since my doctor found the spot on the xray that turned out to be cancer so that was on my mind. But I'm okay, is that amazing or what?? :shock::lol: I went and got a perm yesterday morning, something I have been putting off forever, and was convinced that now that I had gotten the perm and spent the money, my xray would be bad and I would have to get chemo and my hair would fall out. All because I couldn't wait to get the perm till AFTER I got the results and tempted Fate herself. Welcome to one minute inside MY brain..it isn't pretty I tell you!!! :?

I have been mostly away from the board as I was working between 65 and 70 hours a week for part of November and all of December. Last year, it about killed me and I ended up getting bronchitis right after our peak period. This year, I breezed by. I took a week of comp days (the joys of salary of course does not include extra money for extra hours) this week, not to rest, but to get stuff at home done that I couldn't do. What a difference a year makes!!!! I actually feel good, even if I STILL can't wear a damn bra :evil: .

I've come to the conclusion that life is fragile for everyone, not just us. Its just our constant contact with our cancer reminds us on a daily basis of how fragile life actually is. The guy next to me at the checkout can walk across the street today and get run over by Becky's truck (I think the truck concept is finally sinking in). The only difference between him and I is that he never saw it coming, where I do see it as at least a possibility. But it's okay to be a mere mortal...

One of my favorite Christmas gifts is this framed picture that my team at work got me, one that I have always liked. It is a picture of a pond, and a pig taking a dive off of a platform, gliding over the water. The title of the picture is called "When Pigs Fly". THe concept, of course, is that yes, pigs CAN fly, that sometimes the impossible can happen, if just for an instant and maybe not the way that we imagine it to be, but all things are possible. That picture and a wonderful fairy in glass that someone gave me, hopefully will remind me through the next year that there is magic in life.

Anyway, I don't recall Ry giving Hall Passes out to the entire Early Stage forum. Come out, come out wherever you are :P (new people & lurkers most welcome too!!!!!) .............

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Debi, Debi, Debi, woman you are my long lost twin, I swear!

I'm so glad you went to get that perm--I have just about the curliest hair in the world, so I don't need one, but when I got my breast cancer diagnosis in 2001, I looked in the cabinet under the sink and saw all kinds of shampoo and hair care products that I had purchased in advance and broke into tears because I thought I would need chemo and my hair would fall out and I wouldn't be able to use them!!!!!

That didn't happen with the breast cancer (didn't need chemo), but then the same crying jag all over with the lung thing. Turns out the chemo I had didn't cause all my hair to fall out, but you know how I felt!

Sure does seem like I shed a lifetime's worth of tears over health issues of the last few years and I know you have too.

Anyway, great, great news on your most recent clean bill of health and your 2-year mark from the first dreaded news!!!!!

I am also glad you're feeling good--I am too. I told my husband on New Year's Day that if I could be as happy on January 1, 2006 as I was on January 1, 2005, that's all I want. I guess I've come to realize that as long as you have your health, life is good and it's easy to be happy.

You're absolutely right Debi, let's keep this early stager section jumping! Here's hoping for all of us that the coming year brings stable health, happiness, better treatments, and hopefully a cure!

Cindy

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Glad to see you posting!!! Also your post comforted me in that I am not alone in feelings of "tempting fate", I do that soemtimes lately and I am like b/c I did this and this, so and so will go wrong healthwise.

Keep up the clean xrays!!!

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I had gotten my hair highlighted in August 1997, got breast cancer that fall, and all my hair fell out. I told my hairdresser I wanted a rebate. :lol::lol:

My 4 sisters and I have gone on mini=vacations each summer for the last 4 years. 2005 we would celebrate my 5oth, even though it is not until 2006. (It was the year for us to take a big trip.) I informed them at Christmas that I did not want to take a big trip in 2005. March 2006 I will turn 50, and April 2006 will be 5 years since my lung surgery, so I said that summer will be a very, very big trip. :lol:

gail

PS

Debi, should have gotten that facial too :wink:

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I am also trying to come to grips with taking life one day at a time and not focusing on the future. I finally convinced myself it was ok to buy a new car a couple of months ago. I like the truck analogy. I think we just have to recognize that unlike other folks, we just happen to know what the truck looks like. Consequently, we have to be even more thankful for each healthy day we get, and we have to expect that each successive day will be as good as the previous day.

Unfortunatley, it's often easier to say you won't focus on the unknown future than to actually do it.

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I'm glad you got the perm and I'm thrilled that your scan was clean. After sweating out the last two months I got the news yesterday that my new nodule didn't even show up this time. I think I cussed it away.

I agree with the others. We are just more aware of how fragile life is. I'm wishing Good health for all of us in 2005.

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I am glad to see your post Debi. I have always enjoyed them. I have another xray tomorrow. I never worry about it until about 5 minutes before I see my oncologist. I try to relax just before they take my blood pressure and it is always high. I know it is usually normal because I have have had it checked in between visits.

It has been just over a year since my surgery. I definitely appreciate life a lot more now. Not infrequently when I walk into my office I cheerfully announce that I am still alive. And my coworkers say "and we are glad you are".

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Isn't it strange, the mind games we can manage to play with ourselves. I do that tempting fate thing all the time.

Hopefully that way of thinking will someday leave our heads.

You've just about hit that 2 year mark, congratulations!!

Hi, Rich, I'm back after time off for chemo recouperation

Kathy

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Funny about the fairies and flying pigs...I find myself drawn to fairies and angels....

I like the truck analogy. I think we just have to recognize that unlike other folks, we just happen to know what the truck looks like.

Um, it's my beer truck...and the point was that we DON'T know what the truck looks like. It's a random beer truck, cancer does not remove us from the random beer truck lottery...I have lung cancer, but that doesn't mean something else won't kill me before the lung cancer has a chance to. I still don't know what the last page of my life's book will read. BUT, as for the truck, IF I'm hit by a beer truck, it'd better be Guinness! 8)

Have missed you dreadfully, Debi. Please, no chickens, I'm going to try to grow GRASS in the spring! Not THAT kind, the kind that tickles your toes! Geesh...

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