Nana Jane Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 I haven't posted here in several months. The past two days I've become increasingly anxious and am convinced I've got a recurrence of tumor in my right lung. On CT scan at the end of November, at the end of my chemo, I had small residual tumor or scarring. I started on Iressa then and have done well, no side effects. For some reason, these thoughts have been consuming me. My chest feels tight and I have pain in the top of my back along the shoulders (both were present when I was diagnosed in July). I have a mild, infreaquent cough (but that was the reason I had the first chest xray in July). It seems to be all I can think about and it's making me a nervous wreck. My docs are convinced I'm having a good response to Iressa because I have the right gene mutation; I won't be convinced until I see my PET scan which is scheduled for Jan 25. So if anyone has any words of reassurance for me, or encouragement, I would appreciate hearing them so much. I feel as if I'm losing my mind tonight! Thank you so much. Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nushka Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 Dear Nana Jane, I know the feeling about being anxious. Every little pain, cough or symptom of any kind makes me very nervous. I go the first of Feb for a chest x-ray and am very worried about it already. All I can say is maybe ask your doctor for something for anxiety. It helps me get through it a little better. Nina P.S. My grandchildren call me Nana as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 Jane, You are fine. The pains? (I had to go back and look at your signature line...) I would put money on it being residual effects of surgery. Nerves are healing - the itching should follow soon. Anxiety? Oh, I hear ya there! Guess what, good news! You're normal. Talk to your doctor...if the anxiety isn't all the time, see if you can take a "Band Aid" for it, like Xanax. Following instructions, you just take one when your chest starts to tighten and the feelings are coming on. If it's more often than not, you may want to get on one of the daily anti-anxiety/anti-depressant pills. I have a prescription for Xanax that I refill once or twice a year. I only take it when the monsters crawl out from under the bed...because almost two years out, there are still DAYS... You'll be fine, Jane. Follow up with your doctor, voice your concerns, but don't dread the worst, at least not yet. Take care, Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 As my wonderful GP says...."Xanax is never a bad idea." I hope you get a good scan report. As the Beck says, "you're normal." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Donna G Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 I notice you just returned to work less than 2 weeks ago. Could you be tired too? It is an ajustment to get back into the swing of things and then add on the "normal" pre CT concern . Be sure you are getting adequate rest. Donna G Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 When I first returned to work after surgery and all, I waas sleeping 14 hours a day when I could, which was every day. Now I am living with my 9 year old, and if she's good, I'm good, generally speaking. Still trying to get 8 hours, and she needs 9 hoursl Rest is good. So is distraction. Keep your followups, and don't let your imaginings take wings!... They might go dancing with the monsters from under the bed. XOXOXOX Prayers always, MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pammie Posted January 13, 2005 Share Posted January 13, 2005 Hi Nana Jane, know how you feel. i finished the chemo sessions afte six months with very little improvement but am stable. after a month of no chemo i decided the cancer was active again because of little acches and pains in the lungs and some coughing. But the PET and CAT said all was good. like the others said, take something when you have anxious spells. It doesn't have to be continually. our bodies are so complicated which makes some things hard to diagnose. Get some reassurance from the doc and count your blessings. pammie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted January 14, 2005 Share Posted January 14, 2005 Hi Nana Jane, Tell you what I'm gonna do. I'm just going to pray that the next 10-12 days, until you get your PET scan and the report, just fly by as fast as possible, and that you are able to keep your mind and body as busy as possible so that you don't have the time or energy to worry. You're still going to have those quiet moments when the fear tries to creep in. When it's time for my husband's scans, he is calm as a cucumber (at least he appears to be) and I can hardly sleep at night. It really helps me to repeat his words: Why worry? It's gonna be what it's gonna be, and there isn't anything you can do about it. Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nana Jane Posted January 14, 2005 Author Share Posted January 14, 2005 Thanks, everyone, for sharing your calming words with me. It helps to know I'm not the only one going through this. I took your advice and broke out the Xanax (I forgot I'd had it from when I had surgery...haven't needed it since then), and got through yesterday in better shape. Last night I slept, and today I didn't go to work. I am pushing myself hard, trying to return to "normal." I think normal will never be the same again. I really thought I was ready to go back to work and it surprised me to discover that even the simple aspects of my job seemed complicated because I couldn't focus my brain! I like the idea that whatever is, is...worrying isn't going to change it. That sounds like true acceptance. I'm struggling with that. It helps to hear it said repeatedly. Thanks for being there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ellakc2 Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Hi Nana Jane, I agree w/ you about the job thing. The easiest things at work boggles me sometimes and I have done this job for 17 yrs. Most of the people I work w/ are great and understanding , but there's those few who just don't get it or choose not to. When they say mean things, my comment is "Aren't you lucky to have your health". It really takes them back and shuts them up. We now have the new normal. Hang in there and take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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