patut Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 I get nervous when I figure out that anyone has somehow hurt another person at lchelp. It's because I myself belonged to two other sites similar to this (for another disease), and they are both being shut down. Maybe it's inevitable when there is such a large membership with all of us having our own opinions. My idea is we should only show support on this board and if anyone is feeling otherwise, perhaps they should keep it to themselves. This board has been a very safe place for me and I sure want it to stay here to help anyone who asks. In harmony and hopes for a peaceful existence, Cyndy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 Kindness is not so hard to do. Thank you Cyndy. Let us hope this message gets through. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 Dear Cyndy, Thank you for your wonderfully, kind words. We want our members to be comfortable and we want them to be and feel safe. Please know we are doing everything we can to keep LCSC safe and comfortable for you and all of our wonderful members. We want to stay here for you and with you as well. We are doing all we can do continue our Support efforts and keep LCSC here for all. Much Love and Support, Connie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 I agree, Cyndy This has been a good place to come to meet and support others who are dealing with this same illness. We all have our own personalities and share the common denominator of having been touched in some way by lung cancer. I enjoy for the most part, the "opinionated" people's comments. They are creative in their ideas and give me a vantage point from which to think that never would have crossed my mind. I like to hear about other people's points of view. If it were not for them, this board would be a little ho-hum. I was very sorry to see Di's post go. She has spark. I may not agree with everything that she says, but I do get a kick out of her wit and her leadership. She has been a cheerleader to the gang of sclc. I was not offended by her post. Not in the least. Everything in it appeared to be her opinion and I was sorry that Rick saw fit to bash it. But most importantly, I was sorry to see that Rick bashed her past posts. I don't know what is going on. But it makes me nervous. Nothing wrong with healthy discussion. But, I saw something that was hurtful. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 Cyndy Said: My idea is we should only show support on this board and if anyone is feeling otherwise, perhaps they should keep it to themselves. Dear Cyndy, Some things are better left UNSAID! I agree. Some people for some reason seem to like to keep conflick going. As if we all don't have enough to deal with. (sigh) God knows we are not always going to agree with one another,(which is where keeping it to ourselves comes into play) but the really issue here is to be Kind, Caring, and offer SUPPORT! I hope we can all keep that in mind. God Bless, Connie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick Posted January 15, 2005 Share Posted January 15, 2005 I realize in my referenced post I was doing exactly what I am completely against so sorry for this posted reply. Also, in reference to Cindy's post above- "Rick bashed her past posts"- I've never bashed her past post. Just this one that I apologize for even responding to. Rick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Hi Rick, Well, now I do feel more at ease. I really did not feel that it was in the character that you have displayed and I have gotten to know in the brief few months that I have been coming here. I am glad that you are clearing the air. Everyone of us has his or her off moments. I think the words that you may have used today that I was referring to as bashing Di's past posts was something to the effect of "having to put up with your posts on a day to day basis"... something like that... Now, I know that post is gone, but that is pretty close to how I remember it. That is what I saw as being hurtful to one of our members who has just completed WBR, lost all of her hair, and is battling this cancer virtually all by herself. I hope that you will remember this phrase too. And if you see fit, to apologize for using these words. Thanks, Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDianneB Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 Oh now, Cindi -- don't worry about me -- I'm fine! Don't think having these kinds of fusses even hold a candle to our ongoing physical battles! And as to words, I said what I believe and I'll always do that. Call it "opinionated" or whatever -- I call it honesty. It isn't unusual for those saying they "take the high road" to do exactly what they rail against -- I'm used to that. And if I want my right to say what I believe, then they get that too. Interesting comments about "support" here though. One of the definitions of "support" is this: "Something providing immaterial support or assistance to a person or cause or interest." Sometimes, wouldn't you think that "support" means telling someone the truth as you see it? Say, for example, someone can't move from their easy chair in the living room, and are in for a bout of serious depression. What do you tell that person -- "Oh, stay in that chair and mope. It's ok." or, this: "Get up out of that chair and get on with your life." If you're really supporting that person and trying to help, then you'll tell them to get up and out. Otherwise, you're just a rubber stamp, and not helping anyone. The truth often hurts. It doesn't always fall into the "safe zone" we like when we expect the kind of "support" that says "I want people to help me justify what I do, even if it's not so great." Most interestingly, I've not yet heard one reasonable word of dissent about *what* I said, only about *how* I said it. Quite telling on both fronts. (Oh, and Rick, you and I both know what your exact words were.) I'll continue to say what I think, because that's me. If it causes posts to be removed, so be it. If it causes me to be booted out of here, so be it. But I will NOT change who I am and become a Stepford poster who can only write "good boy" when I feel like writing "get over it." I'd hope to get the same kind of honesty from others here as well. Now, I wonder how sincere some of the words I read here are, if there is some kind of "unwritten rule" that one can only offer platitudes and go easy on the reality. What I had to say yesterday was the truth -- as I see it. If that brings out a response that attacks me, fine. Just don't do it yourself and then tell me I'm out of line when I clearly did NOT attack anyone personally. IMO, my words were supportive and they were true. They just weren't candy coated, and that was apparently where I went wrong. And that will more than likely happen again. This is a wonderful forum. It's full of amazing people. We're not all the same. I try not to treat you all that way, and just ask for the same courtesy in return. Di Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Ann Posted January 16, 2005 Share Posted January 16, 2005 There are opinionated members here. I got a PM from a regular user of this board calling me a "capricious little bi***". People do and say things that are unexpected. I am not going to deprive myself of the knowledge and support I gain from this site because of one person's actions, nor should anyone else. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
patut Posted January 16, 2005 Author Share Posted January 16, 2005 Wow. When I started this string I didn't have anyone in mind except Dr. Joe. I thought he had received some private messages that helped make his own decision for a permanent pass and it disturbed me. Didn't have any idea about all of the above. Looks like we're all on the right track now anyway. Have an excellent day everybody. The sun is shining here in the Adirondacks today. May it shine for all of you too! Cyndy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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