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shirleyb

thinking of him

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Does anyone else do this? Each night before I go to bed, I think of Randy. Every morning when I awake, I think of Randy. He is always in my thoughts but it seems he is always there first thing in the morning and the last thing I think about when I go to bed. I miss him so.

Love,

Shirley

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(((((((SHIRLEY)))))))) I not only think of my loved one's at bed and when I wake up, I also, say GOOD MORNING to my Son, my mom, dad,sister, and all my wonderful friends, and I say GOOD NIGHT to them as well.

Just something I have done for many many moons. I find great comfort in doing that.

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I lost my husband on 9-30-2004 to NSCLC at age 53. I, too think of him at bedtime and upon waking. Also, I think of him always while driving by myself. And that is when I cry and cry. Carolyn

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No matter how the rest of the day goes Johnny is the first thought I have in the morning. At night I talk to him and tell him how much I still love him. Then before I fall asleep I thank God for the love we have for eachother. It has become as natural as breathing and I don't plan to ever stop.

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Absolutely, I think of Earl always. Sometimes he is closer to the front of my mind than others. I feel that my mantra has become his name. Today is the 5 month anniversary and this morning while I was getting ready for work was very tough.

As some of you know I am moving, downsizing. Well, I am not going to move Earl's clothes - that doesn't make sense. So yesterday I took a bunch to the thrift store. When I got there, I kind of threw them at them, didn't want to stay and watch and think about it. I sometimes feel like I am throwing little parts of him away. But I know that is nonesense.

Whenever I walk into the house I yell, Hi Honey, I'm home. Glad the neighbors can't hear or I would be downsizing to the looney bin. A guy in work bought Earl's old truck. I pat it each morning and say, Hi Sweetie. He is very much alive in my heart and mind. May he please stay that way dear God. I am so afraid I will forget what he sounds like and how we lived. I have many pictures and a video, so I will always know what he looked like but I want the memories of the live Earl.

I have lost many of my family, my mother and father and my only two sisters. Sad, you betcha, but nothing like losing my husband.

May we all find peace and happiness. And to those surviving may they find good treatments and/or a cure pronto.

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i think about my parents allot but not usually when I get up or go to bed. Now that I am about to move into their house i think to myself, would they like all the remodeling I did to their/now my house. for some reason I think of my father more than my mom, wierd cause I was closer to my mom than my dad.

There is a man who works in my market and I could swear every time I see him just for a split second that it is my dad. I go there though now just to spot this man and try to hope that maybe, just maybe for a split second my dad is trying to let me know he is ok, or proud of the way I took care of him and now his and moms estate.

I never get to see my mom anywhere though. family tell me its because I am either not ready or don't want to see her yet.

my sister dreams of her allot and talks to her in her dreams, i wish I did.

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The first thought in the morning is always Robert. I know of one and only time where I didn't think of him immediately and that was when Alex had been sick the night before and I wanted to go check on him.

Since the rush of the holidays and birthdays are over I find myself thinking and talking to Robert more and more. I still can't dream about him and I wish I could.

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My mom just called me. After 16 months, she had her first dream of my dad. She sounded so happy. I haven't heard her this happy in so long. She is hoping she will dream of him more.

I haven't dreamed of him yet, and i don't know if I will. But I am glad she finally did and I hope she has many more. I know she thinks of him all the time still. And probably always will.

Like some who have already posted here, there are certain times I think of him more than others. It comes in waves for me.

Lots of prayers of comfort for all of you.

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Oh yes....nights and mornings are times when I really think of Dennis. I think that both of those times are quiet times and times we were always together. It seems his presence is often with me when I am driving in the car. I talk to him out loud while I am driving and I pray he can hear my words. I think the car is so special now, as we spent so much time traveling back and forth to Orlando for his treatments and doctor. Orlando is about a four hour round trip for us so the two of us had a lot of quality time together in that car during those 9 precious months. Katie, I am so glad your Mom was able to connect with your Dad in a dream. When I dream of Dennis (more frequently than at first) it seems I awake and for a few minutes feel as if nothing ever happened. It's such a wonderful feeling. That is about the only thing that has helped me to find peace so far in this long hard journey. Shirley, my heart aches for your pain and tears fell as I read your post. This is so damned hard to accept!!!

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Thank you all for sharing.

I think of Randy all the time. Last week when I had to take my daughter in for her surgery, I was really missing him. It was/is still very hard to do somethings without him at my side. I counted on him always being with me and at times I am so lost. I know he is watching over us but damn, I wish he were still here.

Thank you all again for being here. I am so happy for those of you who are having your dreams. I have had mine and I know how special they are. To those that have not had their dreams yet, give it time. They will come and I know you will remember them for a long time.

Much love to all.

Shirleyb

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I can only say I feel the same as all who posted above. Actually the only time I don't think of him is when I'm standing in front of a class teaching.

But yes, first thing I wake up I say "morning Honey" and pat his pillow.

It helps to read all your posts to feel I'm pretty normal. Thanks.

Cyndy

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I do this too, usually when the road I go home on goes past the cemetary. I always say something to Joe as I go by. (It's hard for me to actually go too the grave site) sometimes I think of some of the funny things we use to say..Joe-isms I call them and whenever I use one, I laugh to myself..then cry sometimes because no one gets these little jokes but me. It's been over two years now....

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I think of my Dad often... but ALWAYS when I am driving... ALWAYS. I don't know why it is, but it is... and then I find myself crying. He has only been gone a little over a month, but I feel like its been FOREVER since I could hug and kiss him. I miss him so much I just ache. I miss being his little girl.

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