nikkala Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 Well my Gram finally got her official diagnosis. She has extensive adenocarcinoma stage 4 with mets to adrenal gland, liver and bones and vocal cords. She met with an onco on Fri and he was very nice and straightforward with her. He respected her wishes for no treatment and will be hooking us up with hospice so she can at least have some pain management. She is in alot of pain now so I hope we get this going quick. She is not able to eat anything and just drinks a little ensure. She has handled her diagnosis very well and just wants it to all be over with. We talked about her wishes and what she wants and doesn't want. Now I just pray that the Good Lord will not let her suffer for long. I thank you all for your support and answers to my unanswerable questions. I hope I can handle all of this as well as she is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DeanCarl Posted January 23, 2005 Share Posted January 23, 2005 Nikkala, Hospice should help a lot with the comfort issues. I know they have with me. Also, if they are anything like my hospice they should have some support (groups, one on one) for YOU so ask them about it. Dean Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikkala Posted January 23, 2005 Author Share Posted January 23, 2005 Thanks Dean . I will ask them about a support group for me but I just don't know if I have time for it to be honest. I have 2 kids who are busy and another Gram who is a stroke victim that I take care of so I am spread pretty thin. I am very grateful hospice will be involved and appreciate all your help. It is good to hear some things from a patients point of view and I appreciate yuo being so honest and open. Will keep you posted. Thank you again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babesdaughter Posted January 24, 2005 Share Posted January 24, 2005 Lisa.....I totally understand how it is to be busy. When I was caregiver for my Mom I was working full time and taking care of a family.....it is hard. Honestly though, I can't imagine how I would be coping without the support and continued counseling that has been offered by our hospice team. They have been incredibly flexible, coming to our home on our schedule....also attending a group when we can...look in to what they have. There are some excellent books "Final Gifts" and "The Grief Recovery Handbook" come to mind. God bless you!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kaffie Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Nikkala, Sorry to hear your gram's cancer is so progressed. Hospice did so much to help us care for my father when he was losing his battle with lung cancer. He never had to suffer any pain, they were very concerned about keeping him pain free and comfortable. They are a wonderful organization and very supportative. Kathy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted January 27, 2005 Share Posted January 27, 2005 Nikkala, You posted this on Sunday, and I just now saw it. I'm sorry for the delay in responding. I know you probably didn't like the diagnosis from your Gram, but at least now you have one. I think that most of the time it's better to know what's going on than to sit back and wonder. I will pray for your Gram and ask God to keep her comfortable and that she will have no pain at all. I will pray that the days, weeks or months that she has left are filled with love and laughter from you and the rest of your family. When my mom was dying in the hospital, we really did have a lot of fun. Before she was hospitalized, I bought her one of those singing sunflowers that sang, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray . . . ." I took the sunflower to the hospital and we played it all the time. My husband and sister, and my dad, would be there and we would all sing it, clap and laugh. She also always sang the song, "Do Lord, oh do Lord, oh do you remember me, Oh Lordie, do Lord, oh do Lord, oh do you remember me . . . .?" We would sing that and the nurses would even come in and sing it with us. My mom gambled, so my dad would go to the American Legion and buy her all those little things you pull apart. No matter how sick she was, she would get alert enough to sit there and rip those things apart hoping to win some money. She was a pro at ripping those things apart at record speed. The funniest thing was several days before she died, she knew her time was up. and she kind of flopped her arms on the bed and very reluctantly told me this. "After I'm gone, tell your dad there's $2,000 more in the checking account than he knows about." I got to laughing so hard I was snorting, and then she started laughing even though it hurt her so bad to laugh. After she died, I told dad about the money, and he just curled up his lips and grinned and said, "No wonder she kept saying, 'go ahead and write a check', there's enough money to cover it." LOL! I'm sharing all this so you will try to think of things to make your Gram laugh and have a good time. They will be wonderful memories for you, too. All my love and prayers, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shadowrose Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Hello I'm sorry about your gram. But, as others have said, it is important to have help for YOU as well. Even with other responsibilities, you do have to take care of yourself and all you're going through. If you don't have time for outside groups, there are always people here that can relate with what you're going through, and will always listen. Often, people closest to us don't want to listen. Some because of denial. Others just don't know what to say. Friends will offer condolances, but little else. We often need a place where we can 'let go' and just discuss our feelings and our fears and our hopes. Please make sure that you do that for yourself. Hospice is great. Get them involved right away. Pain management is so very important. Someone close can even be taught to administer pain medications if IV meds are ordered. There comes a time for many cancer sufferers when "quality" outweighs quantity. Sometimes we have to be a little more proactive, and assure that whatever meds they offer for pain and nausea are being given and increased as needed. As for eating, sometimes it helps to make favorite foods. Appetite loss is horrible, and common, unfortunately. There are also many medications, both IV and oral that work great for nausea. Phenegran, for example, is also available in suppository. best wishes Patty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikkala Posted January 29, 2005 Author Share Posted January 29, 2005 Thanks Donna, I only have you all for support right now and that is enough. I have little family and 2 kids. My hubby works 12 hr days so just gotta get by. For some reason my Gram doesn't want hospice right now. She really doesn't want a stranger coming into her house. I know she probably needs it but I can't force anything on her. I will call the doc first thing Mon morn and ask about something for her nausea as she spent all day yesterday vomiting. I will also ask about the pain med patch. Thanks for all your help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikkala Posted February 1, 2005 Author Share Posted February 1, 2005 Well we finally got my Gram on Fenegren for her nausea. The doc gave it to her in a liquid. We also got the duragesic patch for pain. She is at least as comfortable as she can be today after a very rough weekend. We are meeting with hospice at her house tonite. I will be grateful for any help we can get from them. Thank you all for your support. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBeth Posted February 2, 2005 Share Posted February 2, 2005 Lisa, I'm so sorry that you are going thru so much with limited support. I hope that Hospice is able to provide your Gram with what she needs and able to assist you as well. Please take care of yourself and know that we will all be saying prayers for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 Lisa, I just revisited your thread. I just want to say I am so sorry that your Gram has to go through this. The decision-making can be tough. I hope that by now, your Gram has accepted a wonderful hospice team intio her home and is comfortable with them and the care she receives. Take care. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nikkala Posted February 11, 2005 Author Share Posted February 11, 2005 Thank you cindy, We do now have hospice and they are keeping Gram mostly comfortable. She is down to 102 pounds and is getting very weak and her blood pressure is starting to drop. So I suppose the end is near. Thanks Again Cindy. Take Good Care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anais Posted February 12, 2005 Share Posted February 12, 2005 So sorry to hear this... Stay strong!! Anais Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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