Doctors Don't Make Me Happy

[KarHart]

We just came from seeing a local onc. since we have not seen one in our area (my husband has been getting treatment at a cancer center 3 hrs away). I feel like I want to break something and I am a type B personality! What is with this "there really isn't going to be a good outcome here so why even bother" attitude. I know this is not "curable", but I want my husband to fight it every inch of the way. I am afraid if the doctors say there is nothing more to do he will just give up. I keep telling him there are so many stage 4 people on these boards who are really hanging in there. The generic prognosis just doesn't always fit. Anyway, this is just so frustrating. I am so glad I have a place to rant. I really have to keep it together for Ken and our kids. Thanks.

[cindi o'h]

Hi Karen,

I am so sorry that the wind got knocked out of your sails. You are right. There is always hope!

There are lots of examples of real live people running around these boards who are outliving and outguessing the doctors expectations.

The very first onc. I saw said that there was no hope for survival for me. That was over two years ago! Do you think I received treatment from that group??? He!! no!

This is a battle of life and death. You need to do what your gutts tell you. If you two have a winning attitude and are ready for the fight of your lives, then start sharpening the blades. If oncodoc were still here he would tell you that there is hope. You need a good captain.

Best to you, Ken, and the rest.

Cindi o'h

[shelliemacs]

cALL allcase OR acs and have they tell you the other oncologist somewhat in your area who specalize in LC. RUN to another oncologist. one who wants to beat LC and win.

your husband can not give up. Stage 4 does not mean he can't have his miracle and go into remission.

please call around.

[lilgna]

RUN.... don;t walk to a new oncologist, one that has some sense......How awful for you both... No one is without HOPE, Dr's aren;t the last word. Thankfully there are only a few, like this DR.. You are 100% correct, be HOPEFUL, miracles happen everyday. No doubt cancer is a beast its not a easy one to wrangle, but it has been done..... and it is done with suport all around and positive thought and action.

[Justakid]

I ditto everyone!

I went through 3 before I found one with a great attitude!

My friend changed to my new Onco and had his first chemo today, he loves him! I only wish I found him while I was having treatment!

Good luck!

[stand4hope]

Karen,

This is so sad when this happens. I don't understand why someone would remain an oncologist with an attitude like that. To me, the practice of oncology IS fighting. God love the oncologist that fights for our loved ones. I'm hoping you will find one of them very soon.

Love,

Peggy

[Bill]

A couple of questions for those of you with experience switching med oncs. How do you coordinate the switch without creating a disruption or a dangerous delay in treatment and related care ? For instance, at my wife's med onc group I'm hearing that scheduling for new patients is taking up to 8 weeks. Additionally, what assurance do you have that the new med oncologist will see things more your way and not end up being just like the one that you just left ?

Thanks.

[Frank Lamb]

Karen, Your husband survived Viet Nam & that was no cake walk.I know cause I was there too.He (and you) can survive this as well.I know cause I am too.

It will take a lot of doing to find the right dr.But that can be done.There are more than a few drs. with defeatest attitudes out there but there are

also many good ones.

At the Pgh. VA. where I am being treated there is not one person in the

radiology or chemotherapy dept. that has ever mentioned giving up.( this was not the case at other places).At least not yet anyway.Hang in there & get some referrals from other patients or caregivers and find an aggresive team of drs. to help you fight this.

[KarHart]

Thanks everyone for all your encouragement. This onc. is just sort of a backup doc right now, so we have someone local to call on and so Ken can get his Neulasta shot here tomorrow. We are definately not giving up! Ken wants something physical done to his liver tumor so I am looking into cyberknife. Does anyone here have any experience with it? My sister-in-law also told me of a Dr. group in Seattle, Swedish Medical Center that treated her friends brother for pancreas cancer. He was given months to live and under their care he went for 7 years and died of a heart condition. I am definately checking them out. Seattles kind of far from Melbourne, FL. but I have friends that live there. I've gone to a local herbalist who did research for me and I am stuffing capsules down his throat I make up from the herbs, I am getting as many cancer fighting foods in him I can. I told him we have to attack this from every angle we can find. He is really being a good "patient" for me. I'm the one doing all the research. I think when we first found out about this he went online and did some research and it scared him so much he doesn't look into it anymore, just lets me do it. I only tell him positive stuff. I think we are both happier that way.

[Ann]

Hi Karen. I live just a few miles from you, in Palm Bay. Please PM me your telephone number if you would like to talk. Have you talked to anyone from MD Anderson in Orlando? That would be a bit closer for you than Moffit. Dr. Kayaleh at Anderson is absolutely wonderful. I would love to get together with you, since we're so close. Please let me know if you need anything.