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What to do with thoughts


driver4

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Since my Dad was dx I have been invited to go to Las vegas in June with friends of mine to celebrate their 25th anversary. They know that my dad has cancer. I told them that I could not commit to anything until we see how things turn out with his treatment. Lately I spend time thinking about going to Las Vegas with and hoping he will have a remission so I can go. I know I can't leave while he is so sick. Then I beat self up saying I'm so selfish. I live with him and my mother to assist in her taking care my dad as he battles this$#$%^. But sometimes I wish would I wake up and life would be back normal again.

My Dad 74 was Dx with Extensive SCLC(mets to the bone and liver) on 12/17/04.

Started first round of chemo (VP-16 and others)1/5/04-1/7/04, then around of Zometa (for bones) on 1/13/04.

Has had two Shots Procrit for anemia.

Pleural effison drained 12/21/04

Started second 3 days of chemo 12/26/03

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I know this is a hard decision to make. Sometimes caregivers need a well deserved break. It's only normal to have mixed feelings about this. Maybe you should talk this over with your Dad and see what he thinks. I'll bet he would tell you to take a break. But, remember, you can only listen to what your heart is telling you to do! Good luck with your decision.

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I know how this feels. I went thru some similar feelings, but mine regarded school and career choices.

Just look into your heart and do what you need to do. I am positive that your dad knows how much you love him.

In the meantime, I am saying prayers that your dad's treatments go well and that he does continue to get better.

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If you are worried about things at home and how your mother will handle it all by herself, contact a visiting nurse association so your mother has help while you are gone.

Talk with your father, I'm pretty sure he'd want you to go. This is a special event for your friends.

Take the break. Give your mom and dad some time alone (together) as well. I don't think you'll be gone longer than a week, will you? The world has changed since the nineteenth century, there IS an invention called the "telephone". Keep in contact with what is going on and if the need arises, you should have no problem flying out early from Las Vegas to get home ASAP. The ticket in your possession for the planned return can be used for an earlier flight, normally on "Space A" status, but someone would probably let you go ahead of them with circumstances as they are...

Talk to your parents, make the "what if" plans, KNOW that no matter what, it will be handled to the best of everyone's ability and have fun! Go, go, GO!

Becky

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I have been a caregiver some ten years ago when my mother had LC, and now, I am a Pt of LC. So double( %^$%) Believe me you need a few days off from cancer. I always felt so guilty when my mom was sick, to even leave to go home and care for my family, left me feeking awful . Now that I am the Patient, I understand the need to get away from cancer and to have fun...June is a way off, plan for it you can always change if things are needed. But it will give your folks time to plan also....

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its funny how all of us are pretty much living the same lives with the same situations.

I was to leave the morning after mom was dx'd to Vegas. It was all paid for and there was no refunds.

my mom insisted I go and I did, but I called two or three times a day and although I did not enjoy myself fully because of how worried I was, my mom was glad I went.

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Don't beat yourself over your feelings of wanting to be "normal" again! I know that if I were a caregiver, I would feel the same way! Hell I feel that way now!

I agree, plan the trip!

I'm planning one for April and crossing my fingers that I make it through the next round of tests and are NED. If I can plan a cruise for 4 you can plan a trip to Vegas (somewhere I always wanted to go), both of us can cancel if something comes up!

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Thank-you all for your kind posts. I think will see how things go and decide closer to June if I can or want to go. I am feeling better now last week dad felt and look bad. Yesterday he perked up and a friend came over to see him and it seemed really to help him. We have to remember it is day by day and celebrate the good days. Yesterday was a goodday.

My Dad 74 was Dx with Extensive SCLC(mets to the bone and liver) on 12/17/04.

Started first round of chemo (VP-16 and others)1/5/04-1/7/04, then around of Zometa (for bones) on 1/13/04.

Has had two Shots Procrit for anemia.

Pleural effison drained 12/21/04 Felt really bad that week

Started second 3 days of chemo 1/26/05 , 2/2/05, 2/9/05

1/27/05 Started feeling little better

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