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Path less traveled


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I'm pretty new here, but thought I'd open up and introduce myself. I find that this forum in particular is good for me, because my choices aren't the 'norm'.

It's been determined that I likely have lung cancer, with node involvement.

Now, most people would want to be aggressive and treat it and all. That's not me.

That, in part, is why I've chosen not to do anything other than keep myself comfortable. I don't do pain well, lol. They can give me all the pain meds they want.

I'm 44, and have smoked for 30 years. Yeah, stupid, I know. But at this point, I don't see any reason to quit. It won't change anything, ya know?

For the majority of people, I run around various forums and suggest tests to request, meds to try- things like that.

For many reasons, though, I've chosen not to take my own advice. For me, quality of life, the time that I have left, is much more important that quanity. I'd drather 6 good months to 12 or even more bad ones.

I want my daughter to remember good times. Not watching me dealing with the horrors of chemo and radiation. I talked my father into both, and to this day, regret it. I won't do the same to my child, and leave her with those memories.

If anyone thinks I'm crazy, I probably am :)

I beat cancer once before, and really don't know if this lung stuff is a repeat of that, or something new. I don't want or need to know.

Just thought I'd introduce myself and say Hi :)

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Hi Shadowrose and WELCOME!

I've noticed a few of your posts here and there and am glad to see you joined us. You have made a very brave decision, but one which I think most of us respect and understand completely.

I wish you all the best and pray that all your days, weeks, months and years will be filled with joy and laughter with your daughter.

By the way, very nice picture!



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Hi Shadowrose.

Welcome to this group. From your history, it looks as if this is not a new thing for you. Please expect all the support that I can give for the path that you have chosen. We all have to make our own decisions. Whatever feels right to each of us. Please jump in whenever you feel the urge for the rest of us too. You are part of this group, shadowrose, a flower among a bunch of thorns! :)


Cindi o'h

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Welcome and sorry you have to be here!

Everyone makes their own choices about how to handle things. There have been times that I wish I was alone and single, then I wouldn't have to fight cause it would just be me. It's a tough decision make! I admire your strength!

Keep in touch!

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Dear Shadowrose,

Thank you for sharing your story and such deep personal feelings and experiences with us. I hope that your trip on the road less travelled is all that it can be for both you and your daughter. It is, in many ways, a self-less act of love to give your daughter such precious memories instead of the ones that haunt you with the loss of your own parent.

God bless you during this travel.

Love to you,

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Hi ShadowRose

I just wanted to say thinking about you and hope that your transisition is smooth and as painfree as possible.

God bless you, and strength to your daughter. You are a very brave person.


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  • 2 months later...
  • 1 month later...

You know what" i've got that gut feeling after reading your post that you'll beat your cancer. But would hope you'll do the non Chemo way such as diet and lot's of immune system boosters.. So with that being said go and LIVE LIFE that's what were here for......

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I've often thought about what I will do if my current, almost side-effect free treatment stops working. Just how much discomfort am I willing to accept? At what point will I say, "Thanks but no thanks" to treatments?

I've been very lucky that the new EGFR inhibitors are all I've ever had and they work really well for me. My husband and I have talked about it and I've decided that I'll say "no" to anything that would cause the quality of my life to deteriorate but doesn't do more than just buy me a very little time.

Good luck to you! I won't forget your story. I wish you the best.


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Shadowrose, only you have the right to say what - if any - treatment you want. May you have many great days ahead and an easy journey.

I have seen my own mother suffer greatly during treatment, and she insists she will keep seeking treatment as needed. Not sure that's what I would choose for myself. But each of us deserves that right to choose. There is not right or wrong answer, only YOUR answer.

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Dear Members and Shadowrose,

I just want to bring to everyone's attention that our Shadowrose posted this message back in January 2005. That I am aware of, she has not been back?!

Has anyone heard from her? Shadowrose, are you out there in cyberspace? We would love to hear from you.

I am also going to PM her and see if she will reply.

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