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Update on Bob, very rough day.


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I wanted to come here and lean on you all for a minute, I feel like I need your prayers and thoughts for Bob and Jo.

Today we went (Bob, Jo, and I) to see his onc. and had a list of questions for him that we needed very clear answers to. Bob in particular helped write out these questions because he feels he needs to know what is happening and as much as possible, what to expect.

The first thing we asked after he read over Bob's chart and asked some things of Bob and listened to his lungs was..

What is his prognosis. He told us that it was 4-6 months from the diagnosis of the bone met.. so we are very short on time according to that.

Then we asked if we could hope for any improvement from this point.

He said no, and that right now is the best he will be, and that it will get harder from here. He says Bob has probably got a recurrence in the other lung, as well as some other bone mets. His breathing is getting harder to handle.

His appetite is very small , and he struggles with constipation as well. His pain is not really under control.

The onc. reccomended we begin hospice immediately, and they will be out to see us tomorrow. He says they will get the pain better controlled.

Also, we were supposed to get a port for the Zometa, which he discontinued as well as the Lupron shots for his prostate cancer, since he says all that is irrelevant because the prostate would move much slower than the mets from the lung cancer.

We sort of expected this kind of news because Bob has gone downhill so quickly in the last month, but it still knocked the wind out of all of us.

They, along with Art and I, and their kids and our kids have cried on and off all day, but laughed on and off too about little silly family things that would pop up and tickle all of us, especially Bob.

It's another phase of the journey, and we need your prayers .



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Prayers are headed your way. I am so sorry about your friend. I hope his pain is better controlled once hospice is on board. The appetite may be helped by getting some Milk of Magnesia for Bob. I was all stopped up and had no appetite. My doc said it was time to do something more than the senna-s. So I took a big dose of MOM and feel much better. Appetite is better as well. Will keep you in my thoughts.


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I'm so sorry. :( This is the hardest part of the journey. But I have to say this: There was a thread here about friends that disappear, letting us down. And if ever there was an example of the EXACT OPPOSITE of that....it is you!

You have been such a wonderful, steadfast and true friend to Bob and Jo that you set the standard for what it is to be "true blue". I can only imagine how much your continued support has meant to Bob and Jo...and how grateful they are to have you and your hubby in their lives.

I just wanted to say that....because it should be a comfort to you as you face the days ahead. I know it will be hard seeing your friend, Bob, continue to decline. But please hold it close to your heart...that your friendship, support and love has been a major brick in his foundation throughout all of this. You've been wonderful....and everyone should be so lucky as to have a Nell in their lives when going through something like this!

Bless you, Nell. And my continued best wishes for Bob. Thinking of all of you.....

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Oh, Nell...I'm so sorry that this has happened. I'm glad you can lean on us, just as Jo and Bob are leaning on you...although you and Art do far more than all the rest of us put together could possibly do. I, too, hope that hospice will make a difference, make him more comfortable and help you all deal with this hardest of realities. Just get him out of pain. That should help with the rest.

Know that I'm thinking of you all; if thoughts and prayers can ease the way for someone going through this dreadful process, you know that there are tons of them winging their way to you and your friends.


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I don't understand - maybe I missed something - but maybe there is another treatment available for Bob? There are so many different treatments and trials right now and it seems to me that they didn't try enough for Bob. Is there a reason he couldn't try other treatments? Did he ever get a second (or third!) opinion?

In any event, you all have my thoughts and prayers.



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He ended up getting several opinions finally, and the consensus is that he would not be able to handle chemo, although the onc said when we were there the other day that it would only buy him a few weeks if at all and none of them reccomended it for his bone mets. They gave him the option of tarceva but he said no because he wants to feel as well as possible in these last months, or weeks and they felt like it wasn't apt to do much for him at this point. It is a bit rough on all of us, because we saw 2 docs that day and I think the one would have tried the tarceva sooner if he had been taking care of Bob, but I don't know if Bob would have done it anyways, he is pretty much feeling he does not want to keep on with hard treatments. The radiaton really was hard on him, which we expected, but he actually got sicker after it, not better. The docs feeled he was so weakend with his ostheoporosis, emphysema, and bone mets that he just can't withstand much. I want to try a million things and borrow Beckys dragon slayer, but he feels it is time to stop. We so very much appreciate all your prayers and good thoughts. I know I will be here a lot in the next days. Hope I am not too much of a drain and not giving back much.



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