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Stupid Instructions


pecola

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Here are some actual label instructions on

consumer goods.

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On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.

(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

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On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner!

No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(the shoplifter special?)

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On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."

(and that would be???....)

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On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion:

Defrost."

(but, it's just a suggestion.)

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On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do

not turn upside down."

(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

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On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot

after heating."

(...and you thought????...)

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On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes

on body."

(but wouldn't this save me time?)

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On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car

or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction

accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those

bulldozers.)

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On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(...I'm taking this because???....)

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On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or

outdoor use only."

(as opposed to what?)

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On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the

other use."

(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit

curious.)

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On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."

(talk about a news flash)

--------------------------------------------------------------

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions:

Open packet, eat nuts."

(Step 3: say what?)

--------------------------------------------------------------

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this

garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

--------------------------------------------------------------

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain

with your hands or genitals."

(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

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