Angie Daughter of Bill Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Hello gang! It's been a week or so since I have been to the site. It's just been too hard for me to come here lately. Here's where we are at with Dad........His last CT showed progression of the primary lung tumor, new nodules in his other lung and progression of the adrenal tumors. ........sigh......... After the doctor told us all of this info and we were leaving, I forgot to get a Rx for Dad. I told Dad to have a seat in the lobby and I would go back for the Rx. I caught Dr. S. before he went in to see another patient. Before I could say anything to him, he faced me, put both of his hands on top of my shoulders, looked me straight in the eyes and asked if I was going to be o.k. with this. I asked him "O.K. with what?" He replied, "Losing your father." Of course I told him "NO", that I wasn't going to be o.k. with it. I also asked him what he meant. He said that we are getting to the point that we need to start thinking about hospice. I COMPLETELY broke down. I knew in my heart that things were not good, but to here the doctor say it, well, it just cut like a knife!! We went back to the doctor a few days later. (the dr. needed some time to study the scans to see what would be the best course of action) Dad has been getting Alimta. Dr. S. said that we could try adding Gemzar to Alimta. He said that the two drugs enhance the effects of each other. He told Dad that right now we need to think of quality of life, not just quantity. Dr. S. told Dad that he could hit him with some heavy duty drugs, but there would be a price. Dad agreed. He told Dr. S. that he would like to do enough chemo to keep some of his symptoms down, but not so much that he feels sick all the time. So, for now we are trying Alimta with Gemzar. Dad had his first infusion this past Friday. The doctor said that "maybe we can still turn a corner". I pray for these drugs to work. I really feel if we don't get some response that the doctor is going to suggest no more chemo and for us to get hospice when we are ready. Right now, Dad has been sleeping almost all day and all night. He wakes up to eat. (sometimes I can't get him to eat. Last week there was a day that all he had was a candy bar and some water) I can see his energy going downhill every day. My kids are seeing it. (remember, he lives with us) Over the weekend, we had a "family meltdown". The kids were crying and asking, "Mommy, why is God not making Papa better? I pray EVERY night for him." Ohhhhhhh........tough stuff going on. Please keep my family in your prayers. Also, please know that if I'm not around, it's just because it's too hard for me right now. The last time I logged on, I found out about Margaret(countrygirl97) losing her husband. I believe that Jim and my Dad were diagnosed around the same time. It just hit me really hard. Even if I'm not around, I DO pray for you all each and every day. Love to all!!!! In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haylee_38 Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Angie, I am sorry about the news. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
close to the edge Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 prayers done Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Dear Angie, So sorry about your Dad's progression. Wish there were a miracle for him today! I am so sorry for your pain. Try to make every second count with the short time that he has left. I know you love each other so much. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
betplace Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Oh Angie! I am so sorry sweetie! It is such a hard journey and so difficult to go through. My prayers are with you all the time. Be strong! Blessings Betty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melaniem Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Angie, I haven't posted in ages, but I do lurk around some. I'm sorry for you, your father and your family. Life sure doesn't come with guarantees, huh? I wish there were some magic I could do or something really wise and wonderful I could say to make it all better. But there's nothing to say except hang in there. Keep the faith. Love to all, Melanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvmydog2 Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Angie, I am very saddened to hear about this turn of events. It seems that altho the outcome is certain, but nothing can prepare us for that. I hope I didn't say the wrong words but wanted you to know that you and your family are in my prayers. I am especially sorry for the children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimmek Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Angie I do not know what to say, words are just not enough at times like these. I do beleive in the Power of Prayer, and with all the wonderful people praying for your dad I have to believe that that corner will be turned. Gid Bless you and your family Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Hi Angie, Sending healing prayers to your and your familiy. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shelliemacs Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Angie, first I think it was really stupid of your dads dr. to say that. having said that. I will never tell you to prepare for the inevitable, you could not no matter what anyone says. As much as we now think about the passing of our parents, even if they were totally healthy and were in some horrible accident, you will NEVER be able to prepare for that issue. It can't be done. You can plan arrangements and what you will do with legal, money issues, but the void of them, NEVER. so don't!, just don't prepare or think about it. Live today with him and try as hard as it is, although I can't think of how to do it. put it away that maybe someday down the road, you'd loose him. TOday he is your dad, tomorrow he will be your dad and even from heaven on day, he will be your dad. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Angie, I too am very sorry to hear this.I very much respect your Dad's decision to try and still fight as best he can. You and your Dad and all your family are and will continue to be in our prayers here.I will pray especially hard that this new combo of chemo will provide good results. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addie Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Oh Angie... I'm hoping the addition of the gemzar makes a big difference in how your dad feels and in his status. Please know I think of you and continue to send all my best wishes Dad's way and yours. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrea Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Angie, I am heartbroken over yourpain Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finster Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Angie, I am sorry that the news isn't better, but you never know what adding Gemzar will do. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 I am sorry to hear this news. I hope the gemzar does the trick for him. Hang in there Angie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Dear Angie, I just wrote a pretty long response to this and leaned over to take bite of my lunch and hit something on my keyboard that erased it all. Arrghh! I won't try to remember everything I said, but I do want you to know that I will pray for your dad that the combination drugs will be the potion that turns the corner for him. Much love and BIG hugs!! Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tami Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 I will be praying for you. I pray for a miracle for your father... Hopefully this new med will help him... I lost my mom when I was 23... It's horrible and nothing can prepare you for it. Enjoy your time with him be it 5 hours, 5 years or 50 years... There was a slow progression with my mom (not cancer) but nothing could have prepared me for it or made it easier... just be with him. As for your daughter... I'd tell her that sometimes the Lord wants our loved ones to spend time with him.. because he loves them too. We are all thinking of you.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Just sending a very big but gentle hug (((((((Angie))))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 My dear sweet Angie, We are all here for you, whether you are posting or not. We hope, hope, hope that the Gemzer performs miracles. Give your Dad a hug and kiss from all of us. Love, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Angie, My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I hope that the new drug works. Shellie offers good advice. I lost both my parents to sudden death (heart issues). Nothing prepares you for it - enjoy the time that you have together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Hi, Angie, yes, your Father and Jim were diagnosed about the same time but their diseases followed different paths. With Jim, I supported him fighting for as long as he wanted to fight. In January they told us we were just about out of options, they did offer one but didn't think it would help, Jim said no more. I supported him after that by making his life easier, keeping loved ones close, and keeping the meds up and the pain down. I even supported calls from his old girlfriend, the one before me, because I knew he needed as much support as possible. It really didn't matter and it did give him some resolution. Maybe it will be different for your Dad, I hope so. Support him as he choses his way. Make every day count. That is all any of us can do. Love, Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shineladysue Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Angie, I want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you, your Dad and your family. God Bless you, Sue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimW Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Angie, You and your family are in my prayers. Jim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don M Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Angie: I am praying for you and your dad. I have heard good things about alimta. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mayos Posted February 15, 2005 Share Posted February 15, 2005 Please know there are many of us holding you and your dad up today. Sending thoughts of love, strength and support.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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