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Something for the caregivers.........


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I wouldn't have come this far without my husband by my side. Cancer is horrible for me, but I can only imagine how hard it must be for the caregivers.

I see the worry on his face. But through it all, he always finds a way to make me laugh. We have found this balance of not taking things too seriously. Last year, while on chemo, I had to go to the emergency room alot, due to neutropenic fever. I even had to go during the Super Bowl. I know he really wanted to watch the game, but insisted we get to the hospital before my fever went up.

I know ALOT of men who would not be able to deal with all this pressure. Not only of caring for me, but bearing the HUGE financial burden that comes along with a serious disease. Due to problems with healthcare insurance, we have been "hit" with $10,000 worth of deductibles and out of pocket expenses in a 1 year span. I worry about it every day as I know he does. I wish he didn't have to bear this burden alone. It would be great for someone to say, you shouldn't have to worry about this along with everything else, take this money, I don't need it and hope that will be one less thing to worry about. I don't want to leave medical bills as my legacy. Fortunately, we have been able to keep up with it so far, but now the new deductible/out of pocket expenses are in effect, so it's like there is no break.

So thank you to my husband, for all that you do for me, please try not to worry so much. It is because of all your support (and teasing 8) ) that I'm doing as well as I am.

And to all the caregivers out there, please know how much you are appreciated. We could never do it without you.


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Oh TAnn,

That's so thoughtful of you to start a thread for caregivers , but Don Wood said it all

Thank you, TAnn, for your kind words for caregivers. We do what we need to do because we love you. And we are thankful we have you to love. Don

I just can't find anything that expresses how I feel, any better than that.

Thanks Don.


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Thank you! This is how I feel about my sweet husband. He has supported me and taken care of me through this trying and difficult time. We just switched insurance and now have the high deductable too. Along with the outragious monthly premium. I decided to keep my HMO also. I use that for doctor's that have been treating me here since my dx. I will use the other in case I need to go to someone out of the Network. I pay a low premium for the HMO. It is through my employer(Cobra,) who has a lot more employees.

I pray that all works out for you and your hubby and the Lord will take care of us. I believe that from the heart ...

God Bless and prayers,


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Amen to that, TAnn. So well stated. I know my hubby feels useless sometimes....powerless to stop or reverse what has happened. And of course, he is. So am I!!

But he does so much....around the house, all the grocery shopping, and driving me to and from all appointments or treatments! It's a lot. His life revolves pretty much around my schedule or needs...and thank God I've not been terrible sick thru any of this or needed hospitalization!

It's sometimes tougher to be the caregiver than the patient, I think. Here's to all you caregivers who give so much and help keep us going. I can't imagine how those without a caregiver right there all the time, do it!

Oh...and another thing we've discovered....people always ask how I'M doing....but not so many ask my hubby how HE is doing. I hope people remember to ask the caregiver how he/she is doing too!

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You all are so sweet. I know it was hard for me but harder for my husband. Anyway, a long time ago, we threw our hats in together, it was all "us". I am sure you probably know - but those medical costs out of pocket are deductible on your taxes - also your mileage which can really add up. If you didn't keep close track, you calendar can probably tell you how many trips you made to where - it could help. Also, the health care premiums you are paying may also be deductible.

We also had $10,000 out of pocket last year, I kept track, and when I had our taxes done, I didn't even need any deductions, we made so little actual money, we got total refund plus an earned income credit. Hard to imagine.

Lots of love to you both. Margaret

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What a thoughtful thing to do. Thank you for your post.

The truth is that I don't have a clue which one of us it's the hardest on. I think we are probably like Margaret said, we're an "us". I'm the emotional crybaby, and he's the rock and the one that gets mad enough to fight this beast.

You know the type, "What the hell are you crying about? Let's just get this over with, I've got work to do." LOL! We are about as opposite as they get, but the one thing is for sure, we are us. Yes, we are "us". I like that.



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