Kel M Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Hi all, It's been a very tough weekend. It started off well - Mom came home overnight for a visit and did extraordinarily well. She even took off in her car and went for a drive (which scared the living %^$# out of me). She slept well and handled any anxiety she might have about being away from the hospital with good spirits. Yesterday, her primary Onc came back from holiday and was catching up on his paperwork at the hospital so he decided to come in and visit Mom. He asked her for a few hugs and then told her that he was sure that the lump on her side (skin/muscle) was linked to SCLC. Mom handled this well and told him that she was still going to Florida. He encouraged her and said that they would get her ready and that he planned on releasing her from the hospital soon (possibly by week's end). So far, so good. He hadn't been gone for a minute when Mom burst into tears. She said she was fortunate to have such a caring doctor and that she couldn't be luckier for the extra time she'd had. She told me she was running out of time. She could feel the cancer growing in her and that the fight was so hard, she wasn't sure how much longer she could manage to beat it back. Although I haven't been in denial about her condition, the words broke my heart. We wept and held each other for quite some time. It was terribly hard. I just turned thirty, so I'm not a baby, but I feel like one right now. I'm terribly afraid to be without my Mom. I want to be strong for Mom, but I'm so far out into unknown territory that it's taking everything I have to keep from falling apart. I'll just have to find a way to be more like Mom - stronger than strong. She is such an example of courage and perseverence. I am extraordinarily grateful for all the extra time we've had together so far (and selfish enough to ask for a little more of it). I hope and pray that what time Mom has left is quality time - peaceful and pain-free and I ask for your support as we make this journey together. Kel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Kel, It is so hard to be with a sick person we love dearly. They know and we know that time is the only thing we are not sure of. How long?, months, years, nobody knows. Sending you prayers for a good trip and many games of golf. Love J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 You have plenty of support here. Hang in there. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kim Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Kel, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. I too went through the same thing with my mom. We left everything up to her and as hard as it was, we respected her wish to let it be put in God's hands. It was so hard to watch my mom in pain and not be able to make it better. The pain meds helped, but it was the thought that she wasn't going to BE HERE sooner or later. We ended up just following her lead, and doing what she wanted. My mom said she was just SO tired of fighting this. That was so hard to hear when all you wanted to say was how dare she give up! Don't you want to be with us! But, then I tried to put myself in her shoes and I understood. She didn't want to just end the struggle for herself, but the suffering and hurt that WE were going through. Hang in there Kel, and take one day at a time, and know that we are here for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 We're all here for you. I know how tough this is for you. I'm saying prayers for you and your mom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Oh this is so sad. Your poor mom. As hard as it was for you to hear it, it is good she is sharing her feelings with you. Take that trip and have a great time...make the most of whatever time she has left. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justakid Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Kel It's so hard, hang in there. It's hard to stand and watch this disease from either side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimmek Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Kel I am so very sorry for this. I only wish I could do/say anything to make it all go away. Your post scares me, makes me cry as I know it is just a matter of time before I am in your shoes. I hate this disease. I hate what it does to normal everyday people who do not deserve this. Hell, no one deserves this. I am 42 and I need my momma as much today as I did when I was a baby. we all do, I dont think age makes it easier. You and your mom are in my prayers, and do everything in your power to get her to Florida, make the very most of whatever time you have left with her. God Bless you Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remembering Dave Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 Kel, I'm so sorry things look so bad for your Mom and there is so much sadness. I think thirty is way too young to lose your mother. I'm 46 and I think I'm way too young to lose mine, which is something I also face along with my husband's cancer. I don't know what else to say, except to take good care of that dear mom of yours and enjoy the days. you never know what the future holds, including a miracle or a cure. God Bless, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daggiesmom Posted February 28, 2005 Share Posted February 28, 2005 So sorry to hear about the tough weekend. Sometimes everything just gets so overwhelming and we feel like it's just too much to handle. Please know my prayers are with you and your Mom. She's a fighter and so are you. ((())) Joanie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted March 1, 2005 Share Posted March 1, 2005 Kel, I'm very sorry you and your mom are on this journey.Hang in there and enjoy as much quality time together for as long as possible. You are both in our prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MilliBr1 Posted March 2, 2005 Share Posted March 2, 2005 I will keep you and you Mom in my prayers. I hope you both have a lovely vacation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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