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what I have learned


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This is a copied and pasted post from the young widow board. The topic was asking people what they have learned from the board and from being widowed in general.

Here is what I wrote:

I have learned that the vast majority of those who don't get it would get it if I would take the time to explain it to them. Their lack of understanding is rarely a lack of compassion but almost always just being oblivious.

I have learned that there isn't anyone in the closet waiting to stab me in the back for showing the real me. Warts and all. Because I am lovable.

I have learned that the widowed life isn't so bad. There is one bad thing in my life of countless blessings. I have a roof over my head, plentiful (too plentiful, sigh) food on the table, a beautiful little girl, supportive and loving family, friends, and neighbors.

I have learned that widows have no monopoly on loss. There are more things in common than differences between us and those who have lost parents, children, and siblings.

I have learned that the (second-) best cure for skin hunger is a hug, and the only way to get one is to give one. I have also learned the second best cure really is a drop off from the best one.

I have learned that the world doesn't owe me anything ... that each day has its own blessings and daily bread if I just look for them and embrace them and quit worrying about squirreling away more for tomorrow. The world did its part when my eyes opened this morning, and the rest is up to me.

I have learned that I like helping, and I have learned that I like accepting help, too.


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What a wonderful post, Curtis. Your posts always seem to have a message in them that I desperately need to hear! Sometimes, I am very guilty of feeling like the world is really out to get me. I never felt this way before Dennis was diagnosed. It's been two years now and I'm finding the pity parties still happen but not nearly as often!!

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