Jump to content

We just can't seem to get a leg up......


Angie Daughter of Bill

Recommended Posts

We saw Dad's oncologist today. The news is NOT good. The oncologist is about 90% sure that the numbness in Dad's mouth area is due to cancer in the spinal fluid. It is putting pressure on a nerve in the area of the brain stem. Good Lord............I didn't even know that this was possible. Have any of you had experience or heard of cancer in the spinal fluid?? I know that the prognosis for that just can't be good. They did a lumbar puncture today to test the spinal fluid. Of course it's the weekend and we won't know for sure until Tuesday which is when Dad sees the doctor again. We might possibly know Monday afternoon. After the lumbar puncture, Dad got a dose of chemo directly in his spinal fluid. ( I believe it was Depocyte) Also, the scratchy voice is coming from the primary tumor pressing on a nerve and causing vocal cord paralysis. Yet another challenge. :cry:

Dad's doctor pulled me aside and said that if the spinal fluid was positive for cancer cells it's game over. No more treatment. Given the general shape that Dad is in, he might not get any more treatments even if the fluid is negative. :cry: Dad took a fall at our barn yesterday. I couldn't get him up. He couldn't help me. He was like dead weight. I had to run to our neighbor's house, who lucky for us was home, and get him to help me with Dad. Poor Dad, he had to lay on the soggy ground while I ran to the neighbor's house. :cry:

I have known and seen first hand how quickly it seems my Dad is going downhill, but I'm just not ready to give him up. Not yet. There is so much more that I want us to do. I want him to see my kids graduate from school, graduate from college, see my kids raise a family of their own.............I want so desperately for him to be there to share all of these things with me.

I'm sooooooo sorry that every time I on here lately that it seems as if I am having a pity party. That's one reason I'm not here much right now. I just hate to be the "whiner". Plus, if I type out everything that is going on...........well, it seems much more real. I want to just hide out in my shell for a bit longer. I want to deny that this is all happening, but I can't. (Especially when I come here.) I think of you all often. Love to all!!

In my thoughts and prayers~~~

Angie

P.S. If anyone knows of anything to be done for cancer in the spinal fluid or has any kind of experience with it, please e-mail me at chismfamily@earthlink.net I would really appreciate it. I am heading to "Ask the Experts"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Angie,

Reading your post brings on tears. Prayers for your dad and you. I

wish I had an answer for you. I hate this disease. I pray every day

for a cure. It is in God's hands. Please keep us posted. Thinking of

you...

God Bless, special prayers and hugs,

Karen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Angie dear....

I have nothing helpful to offer but my wish that this wasn't happening. Your love for your dad is so profound and I'm sure he treasures you and his time with you and your family as much as you do.

This is such a hard time...and....well.....I'm just so sorry. I hate to see you hurting so. Wish I could help, other than continuing to send my fervent wishes that you get more time and that Dad not suffer any pain.

Thinking of you....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Angie,

Poor guy he is going through too much. I am so glad that you are there with him. You are a wonderful daughter. Just show him all the love you can.

Praying for healing for him, and strength for you.

Maryanne

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry Angie.

As for whining... I want you to know that every time I see that you have posted I make a point to read it because you are so very obviously a LIGHT. Even when your posts are about sad things... you are honest and still that light.

I will be praying for you and your family. I so relate to wanting your Dad around for all those milestones of your babies'.

((((Angie))))

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh Angie, my friend, I am so sorry that you are getting bad news. This is a tough time and all we can do is let you know we care about you and your family. We wish your dear Dad some good news for a change.

Don't you dare think you are a whino, oops, whining. That is what we are here for, the place where you can truly let your feelings be known, while you try and remain stoic at home.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Dear Angie,

So very very sorry. I know how terrible this is for you and how desperately you want it not to be happening. I'm sending you all the cyber hugs I can muster. Just know that you're not alone -- we're all here for you; post when you can bear to. We're all praying for you and your dad.

Love,

Ellen

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Angie,

I believe the treatment that is given for cancer cells in the spinal fluid (or Carcinomatous Meningitis) is called Intrathecal Chemotherapy. Chemo is given directly into the spinal fluid. Everything I have ever read indicates it can be a difficult course of treatment. Having said that, very little in the way of cancer treatments have been easy. Just my opinion. Ultimately it will be your Dad who has to decide how much farther he wants to go in treatment. Please tell him how much I admire his courage, Angie. And remember how much I admire and respect you for all you do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Angie,

First of all , prayers have been sent for your dad and family. I'm so sorry to hear of the new complications.

You are NOT whining!!! You are expressing your fears, concerns and asking for support in the only place I know of that can relate to what you are going through. That's why we are all here. If none of us needed to whine, we wouldn't need this wonderful site! Keep coming to us, we are here to hold you up when you think it is just too difficult.

Take care of yourself.

TAnn

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Angie Dear,

I am so sorry to hear how hard things are for your Dad right now.

I remember one time Jo called us in the early morning and Bob had fallen and she could not get him up. These are rough times, I know.

Never feel like you are whining or complaining. This is the place to say how you are feeling, and we are here for you.

Love

Nell

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Angie,

This is a real blow to you and your family I am sure. I am so sorry to hear that things have progressed this far. I pray for you every day and hope that your dad is comfortable. This disease is a real monster and it doesn't play fair.

Angie, never, never think you are whining. Telling it like it is is not whining. That's what we are here for and I hope you will continue to "let is all out" with us. Keep us posted and know that you are in my thoughts.

Nina

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.