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Brian and I are so grateful for all of you. It is taking some time to get all of you sorted out and figure out and remember who is who but each of you is already precious to us.

Brian is weathering his first round of chemo fairly well. We just realized that round two will start on 3/23--- and go through Good Friday........Just in time to feel yucky for Easter...........guess this is the type of thing we shoud get used to.

Can any of you give advice on how to live TODAY while tomorrow looms so scary? That is our biggest problem We seem to be "on the edge of our seats" all the time............

Prayer helps, as do you guys.

Thank you

Thank you

Thank you

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Hi Pat,

I think we all "live on the edge of our seats" and it doesn't matter if we are Stage I or Stage IV, limited or extensive. It's just part of the deal. With time, it does get a little easier, but it still creeps up on us far too often - the fears and uncertainties, etc.

Some of the things that have helped me are (1) being grateful that if today is good, tomorrow probably will be, too, (2) trying not to think about the "what ifs", (3) keeping busy, (4) trusting God no matter what, and (5) sticking close to this website where there is always lots of hope. Do I always do those things? Nope! But, I sure do try.

Keep reading and re-reading the profiles of people like my husband and others here have been at this for a while. Even when it looks bad, it isn't always bad. There's ALWAYS hope.



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I know its hard to believe but life will settle down and things will get easier. In the beginning I think we just tried to keep going on and make things as normal as possible for our kids. Lots of things had to change but we tried to keep busy and when he was down from the chemo we tried to make the best of it. Below is a post on coping that you might be interested in reading:

http://lchelp.com/community/viewtopic.p ... highlight=

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I read and inhaled every word from the link you sent us, Ry. Thank you!!

This group is awesome.

Using AA skills really hit home w/ Brian and I, too. Each of us is a recovering alcoholic.........................years and years of sobriety..........but we still use AA skills and had begun applying them to LC. Our experience is reinforced by Cindy's words on the thread you linked us to..............Thank you, Cindy.

Thank you all.

We are not as "together" as most of you..........still flailing around and scared to pieces, still like "deer in the headlights" and still wondering if they got Brian's xray and CT scan mixed up with some other person who has Lung Cancer.........

We are so blessed to have found you...

Don't give up on us. We need you.

Brian and Pat

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Those of us who have been here for a while were not "together" when we first started with diagnosis, finding out what lung cancer really was all about, reading the internet till our eyes blurred and wondering what the heck would ever be right again.

You guys are just starting out here, and all of us have been there. I consider finding this gang one of the best things that happened in my treatment, recovery, and trying to get back to normal.

It will happen. It's scary for all of us, but when days go by and you find you're SURVIVING, it will look a lot better.

Counseling and drugs help too. I don't mean for that to be a flip comment, it's just a fact.

Good luck, and we're all here for you.


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Pat, you got some good advice from the others. We have been fighting this beast for 2 1/2 years and still winning. We take each day at a time, thanking God for the beginning and the end. We don't sweat the small stuff, and most stuff is small. We do make plans and work towards them. We have fun and keep our sense of humor. We try to live a normal life as much as the disease will let us. We work with others in the same boat because we are called to do so and it is there that we make sense of the "why". We reach out to many to help us through this. Blesssings to you both. Don

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Pat and Brian,

Look at lung cancer as cold spinach on the plate of life. Remember how you used to have to eat everything on your plate?

You can ignore it and hope it goes away - remember how it wouldn't?

You can choke it all down in big bites and gag more so than you did when you thought about having to eat it in the first place...

Or you can take it in small bites and wash it down with something yummy like an Oreo and a big swig of milk....

I choose the Oreos....

It's scary at first and that fear never completely goes away...the monster is still hiding under the bed or in your closet to sneak out when you least expect it and terrorize you. It's just "there". Invest in a nightlight for those times (Xanax and Ambien are a heckuva happy cocktail for the monsters)...

Take each day in small bites and notice the goodness around you...and if you ain't noticing goodness, start making some. Plant flowers - something to look forward to "next season". Start writing a book...drawing...something you can do in little spurts...

...and buy a bag of Double Stuf Oreos and a gallon of milk!

(Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down...) :wink:


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Hi Pat,

Wow, deep question. I know that I have had some sort of new transformation & I'm not really sure how to share it but I'll try because somehow amidst all this insanity, I've found an inner peace & quiet strength that just amazes me. I've never had a smooth life. Some sort of major crisis or another has always been sitting there just waiting to stomp me. I've always been a strong minded woman who was determined to make everything better. You know what? It can't be done.

Every day I wake up now & just knowing that gives me permission to live a good life that day. I get up in the morning & one of the first things I do is to start compiling my list of 5 things to be thankful for & I find them much easier every day. Just a little happy thought goes such a long way. I thank God every day that I have a good day & I even thank him for the bad ones because heck, if I'm still sucking wind, that's a good thing! It also makes me appreciate the good days even that much more. I really believe that God has blessed me with this peace. Again, I'm not certain of exactly where it came from but it is wonderful. All I can really be certain of is it seemed to change when I made a concentrated effort of finding my daily 5.

May God bless you & your family,


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Pat, I can so relate to the feelings you are experiencing right now. When Dennis was first diagnosed, we were both overwhelmed. Everything was new and different and we were treading waters we had never ventured in before. There were so many new medical terms and procedures that we had to learn really quickly. In the beginning, I stayed glued to the computer. I searched the internet in an attempt to learn every single thing I could learn about lung cancer. One good thing came out of all the research....I found this message board. Then, as time passed, we seemed to find some acceptance of the situation. I feel that acceptance may be the wrong word here, as I have never accepted the fact that our family was stricken by this monster. My best advice is to make sure you have one good friend that you can talk to during this illness. I had one good friend that I always managed to talk to and she always had time to listen. I would talk, cry and express my worst fears to her and she was always there with open ears, heart and arms. If I had kept all of my fears bottled up inside, I seriously doubt I would have survived the life change I went through! Be strong and remember you have us all to help you through this!!!

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Both of you are in my thoughts and prayers as I remember full well the early days of the the horrible diagnosis. It does get much, much better. Try to have a little laugh everyday. It really helps.

Keep the faith. God is listening.

Take care.


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