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Visible Sign


Patkid

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Welp,

We knew it could happen and that it probably would.

Brian's hair started to come out in big clumps yesterday. He went to his barber and got what was left taken off. His scalp is sore and he is really self conscious.

He had the most beautiful gray/white hair.

He had been gray since he was about 24 years old.

I told him that I have heard that when the hair grows back it will be even thicker and maybe curly.

I think this is so hard because it is a visible sign of what we are still trying to accept is going on inside of his body.

Brian said: "I guess this is the real deal."

Next chemo infusion begins Wednesday and continues on Thursday and Friday.

Brian is being such a good sport and I love him so much and I am so sad.

Thank you for being here.

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I had the exact same reaction. Losing my hair was what separated me from the rest of society. I could no longer walk out my door and feel like I fit in with the rest of the world. I was "different". Until I lost my hair, no one had to know what was going on with me unless I chose to tell them. A part of my freedom was taken away. A part of my choice. A part of my privacy.

I also could not deny that there was something very significant going on inside my body. Losing my hair was the outward sign that something very powerful, real, and horrid was going on inside of me. I was completely and constantly aware of the treatments that I was going through and how serious it was.

I did not think that this would have affected me so dramatically. I did not think of myself as being self-conscious about my appearance. I learned something new about myself through losing my hair.

If I had a beautiful head, maybe it wouldn't have been so bad. But, I have a pin head.. I look like a dork. A dunce. A do-do. My mother told us that all of her children had beatutiful heads...boy was that a lie. Either that or she was in love with funny lookin' kids!

We ladies can go out and buy a wig and get by with a quality made one okay. The guys have a harder time wearing wigs.

Anyway. I cried for about a day or two. I was no longer able to deny the cancer when it glared back at me in the mirror. After awhile, I got used to it.

My hair grew back very thick and very curly. One and a half years later, it is shoulder length and growing straight again. I have had the curls all cut off.

You guys will get through this. I would just encourage you to feel whatever emotions come with this, feel it, and let it go. I had hurt, sadness, embarrassment, and anger.

Love to you guys.

Cindi o'h

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My daddy faces the world bald every day. No chemo, Mother Nature just pulled his number out of her hat and all his hair follicles on top went on strike and refused to grow out anymore tresses.... No comb-over, no mullet, just bare and freckled...

My daddy has been bald since he was about 20 years old - mighty long time, never known him with hair. Somehow, bald is more accepted on a man because more men are bald. I can understand missing his hair since he had wonderful hair, but he's not really that "odd" in the world. Now a bald woman...well, that gets lots of stares and "poor dear".

When my aunt lost her gray hair, it came back black and curly...seen other older folks who were gray lose their hair and have it come back dark. It'll come back, maybe not the same, but it'll come back.

Meantime, buy a nice ball cap, the kind without the mesh so if the sun is shining he doesn't get a burned little head - and no plastic adjuster, go for the leather strap or the elastic band....or a 'do rag like the welders and bikers wear...

Hope he's getting the benefits along with the side effects!

Becky

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I understand the "looking sick" part of losing hair, that is when my dad's illness became much more real to me. We did have fun with it though. We got my son a cute buzz cut and then my brother shaved his hair off, I offered to shave my legs :) Got my dad lots of baseball hats, he wouldn't wear knit ones. Hang in there!

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Hi: Yeah, I guess the hair falling out is like a final threshold. Maybe Brian could wear a sporty Scottish wool hat, like a golf hat, to keep his head warm.

I have decided to do adjuvant chemo. I will start in about 3 weeks. I will be doing carboplatin/taxol. I don't know if this stuff will make my hair fall out or not. But it should be interesting if it does. I have a beard that has been part of me for 30 years. My kids don't know what I look like without a beard. I will get the camara out and have someone take a picture of me without my beard if it falls off.

I have to admit that part of the reason I did not do adjuvant chemo with my first cancer, was that it would be like acknowledging that I really had cancer. I was hoping and expecting to just get by with surgery. By now, I have pretty much accepted it and want to do chemo to give myself every edge towards not having cancer a third time.

I hope Brian has a smooth and successful treatment. Don't be too sad. Imagine the chemo is kicking serious cancer butt.

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It's odd. Back in 2003, when my Mom was facing her battle with LC, when her hair started coming out in big clumps, she asked me to shave it for her. It was too much bother. I cried like a baby while I shaved her head & I shaved mine as well so that she wouldn't feel so solitarily bald. I gotta say, that felt a whole lot different than when I lost my hair to my own battle with LC. To me, it was not about the hair. It was about the loss of control over the situation. So far in the midst of my own battle, I've lost the hair, shaved the hair, worn hats, worn wigs, worn scarves, worn "Bald is beautiful" & just plain worn out at times. At the moment, I have totally different hair than ever before. Different texture, different color, most certainly blotchy. It wants to grow in some places & doesn't in others. But you know what. I really don't give a half a fig anymore. It's really only hair. Whop-ti-do! I wake up in the morning. DID YOU ALL HEAR THAT??? I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING!!! THAT'S PRETTY DARNED GREAT!

Hugs & prayers,

Melanie

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