Carolsdaughter Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Today marks the 2nd year my dear mom has been gone. The pain is still there but not as constant and intense. Maybe because my life is constantly being refined as challenges keep coming my way. Maybe it's because I can here my mothers’ voice more clearly now asking me not to be so sad and not to waste precious time. I am grateful and I feel blessed to have had her for my mother and she is thought of often and missed by all who knew her. To those in heaven with my mom…Please give her an extra hug for me today. With Love, Your Daughter. Shelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 it's hard to imagine so much life without my dad. for you it's been 2 years. i hear what i think is sad resignation. if i live to be 70, i will have been without my father for THirTY years.. this seems too long, i feel so cheated... i feel lucky that I had him for 40 but it does not seem enough. I am horrified by not having him around. Sometimes I'm okay. Hours pass and i'm just sad. Then I just fall apart. It seems so many years ahead, g-d willing, to live my life without my dad. i'm so sad. i know it will get better but also I do believe there will forever be a hole in my heart. thanks for sharing about your mom, and hugs to you and yours in heaven. lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 If my daughter lives to be 70, she will have lived SIXTY SEVEN YEARS without her mother. My point is not to compare grief - that is a worthless exercize - but to point out that with time you will see the blessing that 40 years was and not just the pain that is today. Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 you are right, there is blessing for me to have had my daddy for as long as i did. i'm heartbroken about your little girl. i'm so sorry.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 Thank you Shelly. You are an inspiration. I know your Mom got that extra hug today. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimmek Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 I had never thought about it that way.....my thirteen yr old daughter has already lived 8 1/2 yrs without her dad. She has lived longer of her short live with out him than with him. Young kids are alot stronger than we give them credit. Theydo not understand the impact of losing at parent at that age. Not like we do as adults. My parents divorced when i was 22 yrs old, as I was going thru my first divorce. I was so hard on me, I wish they would have done it yrs before. They were married 25 yrs you would think they would have been together forever, at least i did. I cannot even fathom what it will be like to lose my mom, we are so close. I wish i had words of comfort for Lemby, but i can only imagine how horrible this is for her or anyone of us.. Yes, be grateful for the time with your loved one no matter how short or long it is. I have heard my grandma and mom and others make the comment about my grandfather that he was 80 yrs old, had lived a wonderful,happy fulfiled life, but even knowing that made it no easier on my grandma and mom. Time..it will get easier in time......... Kim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted March 21, 2005 Share Posted March 21, 2005 I know that we are all selfish immediately after a loss. In my case, I remember driving to Becky's funeral and being pissed that Walmart was still open. The pain of loss is so complete that it shuts everything else out for a while. But it will recede, and then you will have more perspective. Curtis Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carolsdaughter Posted March 21, 2005 Author Share Posted March 21, 2005 it's hard to imagine so much life without my dad. for you it's been 2 years. i hear what i think is sad resignation. if i live to be 70, i will have been without my father for THirTY years.. this seems too long, i feel so cheated... i feel lucky that I had him for 40 but it does not seem enough. I am horrified by not having him around. Sometimes I'm okay. Hours pass and i'm just sad. Then I just fall apart. It seems so many years ahead, g-d willing, to live my life without my dad. i'm so sad. i know it will get better but also I do believe there will forever be a hole in my heart. thanks for sharing about your mom, and hugs to you and yours in heaven. lori Lori, I can see your intense pain through your emotions. It sounds as if you might have been thrust into a situation as caregiver to your father by default. I was also my moms’ caregiver along with my dad. I watched my mom be dx with LC and then less then a month later she was gone. I also watched a portion of my dad go with her. I had just turned 42 she was passed away at the young age of 63. I don't always feel that love can be measured in time, once we are a child we are always a child. We had our mothers with us for many important years but the shock and pain that comes from loosing someone we love lasts. I also lost my brother who was just 11 months older then me and he was just 8. Lori, I have also read about the pain and trouble you are having with your mom and your brother. If I were you I would want their support any way I could get it even on their terms. Life with family by your side can be much richer then without them in my experience. Remember how we choose to live each day is a choice. Hugs, Shelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carolsdaughter Posted March 21, 2005 Author Share Posted March 21, 2005 I know that we are all selfish immediately after a loss. In my case, I remember driving to Becky's funeral and being pis*** that Walmart was still open. The pain of loss is so complete that it shuts everything else out for a while.But it will recede, and then you will have more perspective. Curtis Curtis, How are you and your daughter doing? I can't even begin to comprehend what you have on your plate and my heart also aches for your daughter. My intent was not to cause any pain with my post. I also remember being upset the life for others went on like nothing ever happened. Hug, Shelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carolsdaughter Posted March 21, 2005 Author Share Posted March 21, 2005 It is interesting to me that when I need to write something either about my mom or to my mom it is here that I feel I should go. There is a feeling of compassion and understanding here like no other. We understand what it feels like to either be a caregiver or the one with LC. We are united by purpose and understanding. Thanks to those who come here to learn, read, and support one another. My calling here for the most part is one of a supporter and I am okay with that. It is my part of healing and giving back to a community who has helped me not to feel so alone at a very lonely time and I am forever grateful. Hugs, Shelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted March 22, 2005 Share Posted March 22, 2005 (((((Shelly)))))) I know... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SFAstudent Posted March 27, 2005 Share Posted March 27, 2005 I know that we are all selfish immediately after a loss. In my case, I remember driving to Becky's funeral and being pis*** that Walmart was still open. The pain of loss is so complete that it shuts everything else out for a while.But it will recede, and then you will have more perspective. Curtis I had the same reactions to simple things like that. I couldn't believe the world didn't come to an end. I would get so mad to hear people laughing because to me, it wasn't time to laugh again. I passed the funeral home each time I went to school or to intern and would feel such rage against the place, as if they had taken Becky away. If looks could have burned down, it would be ashes by now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimW Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 Shelly, I'm sure Ada gave your Mom an extra hug. Jim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carolsdaughter Posted March 29, 2005 Author Share Posted March 29, 2005 Shelly,I'm sure Ada gave your Mom an extra hug. Jim Thanks JIM, I LOVE ADA TOO! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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