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My family and I have had an attitude of "lets beat this cancer" since mom's diagnosis in May 2004. Recently, she has been so sick and even told me that she thought she was going to die yesterday. I was convinced from the looks of her. I am so afraid that she will just die, any minute. Her vomiting is not allowing her dylantin to stay down, so she could have a seizure that kills her or a blood clot could kill her. Or she could just starve to death. I tell you, my spirit is broken. I feel like we should talk about her dying, but then she will think I have given up. I guess I have. This sucks. Has anyone heard of someone having a seizure that kills them? I guess at this point I am just hoping that I can hold her hand when she leaves this place.

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Lori, I am so sorry your mom is feeling so bad. I know seizures are really scary to see, but I don't think they are particularly dangerous. My father had brain cancer and when he had a grand mal seizure it just about scared me to death the first time. He was not even aware he had one when it was over. It was much harder on us then him. Hopefully, they will be able to get your mom stabalized and she can get back on track. Please just try to hang on there and we will all be praying for you.

Karen H

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That such a fine emotional line that you walk when you're in that situation.

There's always hope, and that stays in the back of your mind- sometimes, when things look their worst- your hope seems lost amongst the worry and uncertainty and you just don't know what to do or how to feel. You have to follow your heart.

The only thing I can add from personal experience is to try to remain focused on things you can control, remind yourself of the things that are possible, and replenish yourself with hope from survivors and experiences of others who have come out of this on the other side. These things can help you make it from moment to moment.

No one can know what is going to happen with your mom's disease. I pray for her recovery, for her to regain strength and spirit to overcome the side effects and to beat her cancer.

Let her know that you are there for her always, follow her cues, encourage her when you can and just love her thru it all.

Many hugs,

I'm so sorry your mom, you and your family are going thru this right now.

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I remember that feeling going through treatment. One night after getting chemo, vomiting till I thought my lung would surely come out, numbness to the point that I couldn't feel my fingers or toes, pain... I knew, just knew that I was dying. In fact I honestly thought that I would die that night. Days before I had gone through my important papers and stuff (tossed everything I didn't want my kids to find after I was gone), clean out my closet. I just had this feeling.. frightening to say the least but I knew if I closed my eyes and went to sleep I would die. So I stayed up all night. I can still remember in great detail the movie I watched and then watched again. Obviously, I didn't die but I know the feeling. I was just so "sick and tired of being sick and tired" your mom may be feeling the same thing too. While I have no idea what it feels like to be the Cancer caretaker I know what it's like to have had it. I would support her. If she feels like talking about dying let her talk. when she wants to fight help her fight. I wouldn't bring up the dying part... I would let her lead this dance. So she knows you haven't given up on her and you are there for her. Follow her clues and talk about whatever it is that she wants to talk about. No one knows what will happen or when it could happen. Take each day... I pray for both of you. I cared for my mother when she passed away (18 yrs ago) and it was the hardest thing I've ever done. Honestly thinking about my own death wasn't as horrible as trying to imagine my life without her.

Lots of prayers and hugs for you both.

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Lori

I am so sorry things are so rough at the moment. I really hope they can get your Mum's symptoms under control. If she is receiving the best medical care for her, the only advice I can offer to you is to just love her and love her as much as you can. And remember, while there is breath, there is always always hope.

Jana

xx

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Lori, just try to be there for her. I think that when she is ready to talk about dying she will come to you. It's so hard to see someone we love who has always been so strong and indestructable, so to speak, go through what she is going through. I thought this can't be happening to MY mom! Try to find new ways to keep the meds down. Can she have nausea medication in the form of a suppository to try and combat the nausea? I hope and pray she gets out of this stage soon!

Love and prayers,

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Hopefully she has enough of the dilantin in her blood that her levels are ok. I believe you can get it in a liquid form also if you think that would be easier for her to hold down. Seizures can be very dangerous especially if she falls during one and hits her head. You should check with her doctor about her nausea and see if he can help somehow.

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Hi Lori,

I am so sorry you are going through such a hard, scary time with you mom. Take one day at a time and just enjoy being with her and holding her hand. You are a wonderful daughter and she loves you so much.

I pray for strength for you both.

Maryanne

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Serious seizure will kill. Did the oncologist or neurosurgeon know about your dear mom's current condition? Did they subscribe something or do something to help? Dilantin is a good medicine to prevent seizure, any way can get your mom have this med? Please ask the doctors.

I hope your mom is getting better soon....i know it's very frustrating sometimes to the patient herself and to the caregiver, but don't give up please....i hope you feel better after vent....my thoughts are with you and your mom.

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