Is it time for bed yet ? (revisited)

[patut]

Maybe it's the new time change and maybe it's because I have a slight cold, but I sure feel tired and saddish tonight. Is it time for bed yet?

[rosegarden]

I've been having trouble sleeping lately.

Today my dad said, "you know, it's funny she's gone. Can you believe it? How can she be gone?":

I think I've pushed it so far back in my head/heart to be able to get on with life, that when he mentions stuff like that it kind of shocks and surprises me. I KNOW she is gone but I don't think about it all the time.

sometimes though i call the answering machine 'cause her voice is still on there, and i haven't heard her voice for about three months now

[ginnyde]

Cyndy,

If I have nothing to do at night, I go to bed very early. If I am home, as soon as I am too tired to do some constructive, I go to bed. Am I really tired? Or am I still trying not to think too much? I don't know.

I still find if I am not otherwise occupied, ie TV, reading, talking, computer, etc. I fill up and tears roll down like a waterfall. So I guess we learn coping things. For me, two of them are: talking on the phone in the car and going to bed early.

So as we have found out, it gets easier, but not easy.

[WhenStars]

Sometimes I feel a bit conflicted - between trying to go on with life and needing to be alone in my bed. I haven't had any energy to socialize recently, and I have actively avoided any type of gathering on the weekends. On both this past Friday and Saturday, I backed out of plans at the last minute and spent the time by myself, getting to bed early.

Lately, I have been just sitting on my bed, staring at a photo of my dad. I am so crushed I hardly know how I am going to make it to next month, let alone to next year. It feels like there is nothing in life to look forward to. I just miss my dad so much, and I feel so bad for my mom who is so lonely.

Kate

[kimblanchard]

I still go to bed early. It seems like after dinner, I am just done in, not interested in anything, so I go to bed, usually read a bit but let that go the minute I feel sleepy at all. Sometimes people call, they are surprised I am asleep. I usually wake up a couple of times through the night, the secret is go back to bed and just try it, I usually fall right back to sleep. I say give it time, lots of time. Spring and Summer are going to help, more things to watch and do, more sunshine. Margaret

[jean]

I look forward to going to sleep at night. I am away from thinking of my husband John and that I will never see him again. Its been 6 months and even though I don't cry as much the pain is still so very intense. The memories of him losing so much to lung cancer is still so vivid to me. I wish I could remember him when he was well. I know his love is still with me though and I hang onto that. Thanks for listening. Carolyn

[Maryanne]

My heart breaks for all of you. My dad had Parkinsons but lost his life to pnenomnia and I miss him terribly. But he did not suffer like all these people who faught Cancer and lost.

I really do feel your pain, as your love ones were so brave. They may have lost the battle but they never gave up the fight.

I pray for your grief to lessen as I know your love ones would not want you to suffer so much. They would want you to go on with your life.

Just know that one day, you will be with your love one in that beautiful place and it will be a glorious reunion.

Peace be with you.

Maryanne

[paddy]

I felt like you did all day yesterday Patut. I really do think that the time change had something to do with it as I felt tired all the time.

I usually watch T.V. and do my beading while I watch. I stay up late because if I go to bed early I can't sleep.

As Ginny says, it pays to keep as busy as possible. My worst times are when I am in the shower or out walking on my own, all the old memories well up and flood over.

I too find myself grieving over the terrible struggle he had and how it changed him from the happy and strong person I knew. I still cannot get over the unfairness of it all, he fought back from a massive stroke and then the cancer reared it's ugly head.

I am praying for strength and comfort for you and hope you will be feeling much more cheerful soon. This is a hard walk for us all to take, but take it we must.

Love,

Paddy

Paddy