galadrialuk Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 my grandfather of 83, the only gentleman i have ever known , has just been diagnosed with lung cancer , he has never smoked and has led more of an active life than all the people i know , i dont know what kind of cancer, all i know is he is unaware ( wishes of other family members ) and he has only months left , today is his birthday , and may be his last .... i am utterly lost , i cannot find a gift that even hints at how much i love him , how much he has had an effect on all my life ... how do you buy a present for someone like this when every gift seems pointless....... any help /advice ...anything .would be appreciated as ive never been through anything like this before .. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimblanchard Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 Maybe flower bulbs or a tree? Something that hints of hope and something that will last past us all. Something to look forward to. I am so sorry. Margaret Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 I like Margaret's thinking. Or you could pay a visit with special pastries and wonderful coffee or tea and tell him some of what you told us about your feelings. We will add your grandfather to our prayer concerns. Not sure about not telling him but will trust that your family is making good decisions in his best interest. Pat and Brian Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 sweetheart. grandfathers love their grandchildren most of all. If you have pictures of you from your infancy adolescence and youth into adulthood...could you make a picture album and write some things in it of remembrances of your grandfather at the time the photos were taken? You could gussie it up with all kinds of other little things...dried flowers, awards, etc... he is interested in YOU not in things. Another idea might be to treat him to a special night out if he is up to it. A special play, opera, ballet or art expo. Just the two of you. You could both get all dressed up and have a corsage for him, a limo, the whole deal. You know him best. But, it would be wonderful to give him a night or day to never forget and to dwell upon. Music is another idea. A favorite composer of his? It would be something that he could play over and over and it would remind him of your love. If I were your grandfather, this would be invaluable to me. So sorry for your grief. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justakid Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 What I wouldn't give to just sit and have my grandfathers favorite meal and talk to him. He's been gone 12yrs now. A favorite meal just the two of you recalling all the good times! That's what I would wish from my own children Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 I am a grandfather and I think the best gift from you is to share with him how much he has meant to you, whether in a letter or just sharing one-on-one. You are his legacy. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDianneB Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 I never had the pleasure of being around either of my grandfathers. Both were long gone by the time I came along. I barely remember my paternal grandmother - she was in her 90s when I was a little girl, and I have only faint memories of us sharing a birthday cake one year in Lee's Summit, MO, with LOTS of snow on the ground. My maternal grandmother is a different story. What a character she was! It's her family genes that gave all us females our cheekbones! She taught school for almost 20 years, then retired, married, and raised 6 children. Whew. Makes me tired just thinking about it. I spent good time with her when I was young. We used to take walks and talk. She'd tell me about how life was when she was little, and I couldn't even imagine. Now that I'm all grown up, she was my inspiration to start researching our family history a few years ago. I managed to find many many relatives I never knew I had, and got a lot of information about this wonderful family. Talk to your grandfather. Write things down. You will be sharing wonderful memories he has as well as his last days. May God be with you all. Special wishes for your grandfather. Di Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted April 12, 2005 Share Posted April 12, 2005 Best thing to share with a beloved Grampa is time. Sometimes those who are very special to us don't get a lot of our time, make time to spend with your grandfather, write down the stories he tells, or tape them to listen to later. My grampas had some of the best stories of yesteryear and a kinder, gentler time - and the older generation always has time to spend with the grandkids, time that parents don't always have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
galadrialuk Posted April 14, 2005 Author Share Posted April 14, 2005 well i thought i would just look back at my post to see if it had been viewed only to find all of your responses , after i mopped up the tears from them all i sat and thought posatively about what i could do for him , and how i could make the most of our time together , and if it wasnt for you wonderful people who took the time to write , i may never have felt posative about this ........ i just wanted to say thank you all from the bottom of my heart . i shall go and spend every spare minute i get with him .... ohh and i found a book , " book of a grandparent " which has questions in which you can add to about their life , some very uplifting topics in there .... may i pass this info on to anyone who needs it ..... once again thankyou all ..xx i have never been a very religous person but tonight i shall pray for each and every one of you going through the same feelings as me , and everyone who had passed on to something better ... xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted April 14, 2005 Share Posted April 14, 2005 Hi there, Yes, the best present is just spending all the time you can with him and talk about many memories you have of him. That would be the best medicine and present for him. You giving your time to be with him. What more could he ask for? Your a wonderful grandaughter, and he is so lucky to have you as you are to have him. Peace be with you both, Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted April 15, 2005 Share Posted April 15, 2005 Dear gal, I agree. Spent quality time with him; get him something that's a treat, whether it be chocolates, fruit, or flowers. Love him up, talk to him, or sit quietly and hold his hand. He will know how he is loved, and you will remember this as the best gift -- giving of yourself. XOXOXOX Prayers, MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted April 16, 2005 Share Posted April 16, 2005 Hello, I only had a grandfather, all the oldest generation was gone by the time I came along. What I remember the best was playing checkers and going fishing with him. If he has a hobby you could help him with it, but the most important is spending time with him and listening. Good luck J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy RN Posted April 17, 2005 Share Posted April 17, 2005 I am not a grandparent (YET) BUT the most touching gifts are those you make!! Write a poem and frame it, Get an old pic of the 2 of you and frame it, Write him a letter on some type of themed paper, Take him to lunch. The idea of flower bulbs are WONDERFUL!!!!!! I planted a bunch of tulip bulbs in 2001 for the next spring for me! AND I am still here in the spring of 2005 to see them! Love Cindy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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