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I did something today I never thought I would do: I had a psychic reading done by a woman in Vermont who came highly recommended by friends from the widow board. Some who are pretty flaky, it is true, but mostly very grounded and otherwise normal folks. I had been tempted by the idea a couple of months ago, and in the three weeks after that, I had five different people mention they had done readings without being prompted, so I took that as a sign to do it, and I am glad I did. The most vivid and interesting parts concerned the relationships between Katie, Becky and me.

The description of me was done before she really knew anything about me. My dominant number was an 8, which is creative, and my secondary number a 7, which is pragmatic. The dominant numbers range from 1 to 9, with 9 being most advanced among the beginners, and then 11, 22, and 33, who are the master souls. As she is telling me this, I am thinking it is mighty hoaky. But I suspended my disbelief and listened. So I am a relatively old soul, and the particular mix of creative and pragmatic tends to manifest itself as someone who is very insightful and trustworthy, who has a creative approach to problem solving but is not necessarily an artistic type. Appreciates art, but is not necessarily a creater. And I think that describes me pretty reasonably.

Later, she talked about Katie. She said that Katie was a little bit younger than me, soul-wise, but that the energy she sensed was that we had been together for many lifetimes, though usually as brother and sister. She said she kept me grounded, but that as I was advanced, in this life I was her guide towards something that would enlighten her. She said over and over I would not be alone in raising her (WHEW!!!) but that this relationship was the primary reason for this incarnation of me.

She described my mom and my brother pretty well also with theirs, but that is not terribly interesting.

And then she talked about Becky. Becky is an 11, a master soul, who chose to come back to earth in this incarnation not to learn a lesson but to be a guide. A master soul is characterized by being very complete and mature very early in life. By being very purposeful and efficient in everything he or she does. And Becky never wasted a motion, a minute, or a penny. And the image of a garden kept coming up. She kept asking me what the garden meant, and I had no idea what she was talking about. She said that I was too deferential with Becky here. Becky chose this life knowing it would be short, knowing that her job was to prepare me to have this relationship with Katie. That I trusted her so completely and implicitly that her being here inhibited my development because I refused to use the power that I had been given. That is another theme that came up about me, that I am more powerful than I allow myself to realize, that I fear doing harm and end up not doing the good of which I am capable.

It was at that point that she said that Becky's presence was with her, and asked me if I had any questions for her. I asked her if she heard the last things I had said to her. She said that she had, that she knew them already and that I needed to say them more than she needed to hear them. But she thanked me for giving her permission to die. She had been hovering over her body at that time, and me giving her permission allowed her to turn away. She also said that Becky's energy was particularly close to Katie, especially at night, especially in our bedroom. (A little detail, but I had never told her that Katie usually sleeps with me.)

The garden came up again. Do I smell flowers at home? No, only when I actually have flowers. Move on again.

She said there was something she had asked me to do that I hadn't done. I didn't know what it was. Finally it came out that I was supposed to find another spouse. (Like I haven't been trying!?!) She said there was a box that needed to be sealed. Becky told her I was looking for something like what we had, when I should be open to experiencing whomever came along. She said that usually when channeling one spouse for another, the visual is usually of a cloud of energy, and that I had that, but that there was also a tie between us, and to move forward, I had to sever that tie.

Again the garden, flowers come up.

Finally, it seems like Becky got a little impatient with us - why should the next life be any different, I say giggling - and says I am the garden. She chose this life to tend to me. She asked me if Becky saw things in me I had never seen in myself, and I said of course. The tie between us, she said, is that I have to borrow Becky's vision of me. To be able to move forward, I need to make her vision my own. I don't need the authority that it comes from Becky; I have to generate it for myself.

She finished by predicting I would meet someone special in a few months - September 29, she said, though dates are often off by a week or two. She described her as having dark hair, wavy. The name Carly came through, though names are usually not accurate she said. She said that she works with children. That she is different than Becky, very vivacious and laughing a lot and getting me to laugh with her. She said that there would be something about bicycles when we meet, maybe in a bike store, or in the park with Katie riding her bike. She said she would be younger - 25 or 26, never married, and that there would be an emotional connection between us very quickly but even more quickly between her and Katie.

And that is how it finished.


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Curtis, thanks so much for sharing this with us. I still have chills. Was this done via telephone or in person? I have spoken with someone in a group setting but would like to schedule a one-on-one session.

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Hi Curtis,

Thanks again for sharing.

I believe in the things she talked about. Not so much about the numbers, never heard that one before, but that was interesting, food for thought. But as far as the reincarnation and the our closet family and friends we knew in various lifetimes. We seem to travel in the same circles. Also there are reasons why we come back again and again.

It was extremely interesting what she said about you and your purpose here.

So far she seems accurate, now we just have to wait, and see if you meet a dark hair girl, in her twenties around Sept. who works with children. If so, she sounds wonderful and perfect for you and Katie.

This aught to be interesting to see if that comes to tuition.

If so, I definetely want her phone number. :D I imagine you spoke to her on the phone.

Great reading, you take care. :wink:


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I'd give you her phone number, but I won't meet her until September.

Oh, you mean the psychic, not my dreamy girlfriend to be.

Her name is Nan, and it was over the phone, and I was told that it would be 60-90 minutes and by the timer on my phone it was 82. The cost was $100, and I was sure the first thing Becky would say to me is quit wasting money on this. But she didn't, so maybe even Becky thought it was worth it. Her e-mail address is Nanwrites@aol.com. Tell her I referred you if you decide to do it - she has a referral program of sorts. (Curtis Ruder)

Or it could have been a sham. But if so, it has given me $100 worth of stuff to think about, so I don't feel gypped.

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How neat is that.

My brother in law is able to see all this stuff, he can see the spirit guides waiting to take people over when they die and a lot of things that he doesn't like. I find it all amazing and now my daughter who has always said that she 'feels' things has learned to channel spirit guides and is really starting to hone her gift.

I'm just hoping that she doesn't see any guides waiting for me any time soon!

I will be watching the board in September/October to see if the medium's timing is right.

Take care


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Hi, Curtis, thank you so much for sharing this. I may try this but will wait until it has been longer -

I tried a medium not long after losing my husband and I think the medium was sincere and honest but my reading was so very general, I thought the questions - and answers - I got would fit just almost anyone. Here's an ironic note - I wanted to reach Jim and she said he was there but it was so recent, he tried hard, but he wasn't coming through very well. The main person who came through was my ex-husband. I was not especially needing to talk to him but I guess he was needing to talk through me - his main message was that he loved his kids. Maybe I was the only chance he had to send that message ---

She advised me that Jim was still in an orientation period, like when you are new on a college campus, and if I waited and tried again, I might get a better result. She said he was okay, he was sorry about some stuff, and that he loved me.

Both my husbands said they were "sorry" which was strange. Of course there were things to be sorry about but I was not perfect myself, either.

I most probably am going to try one more time but wait. Maybe something will happen naturally.


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