Sandoster Posted May 25, 2005 Share Posted May 25, 2005 Donna is my partner of over 23 years. She has NSCLC adenocarcinoma Stage IIIB/now Stage IV. She went from a pleural effusion (malignant) to pericardial effusion (benign) to abdominal effusion (malignant). They have never found a formed tumor. She is now on Taxotere and feels terrible. She has lost her appetite and is skin and bones. it is so hard to see her this way. She is starting to force herself to eat a bit better after a friendly lecture from her onc's PA. Her doctor has never discussed prognosis (since August 2004) and I am afraid to ask. I am so scared that what little hope she has left will be dashed if I ask about prognosis and we get bad news. Donna very much believes that God will heal her. I am so scared how she will feel spiritually if she just keeps getting worse. I feel like I am doing a tightrope walk all the time. None of her 5 children seem to understand the gravity of her condition. Her daughter (the youngest) is the most aware, but she lives 1200 miles away. It is Donan and I fighting this on our own and I just am so tired, depressed and frustrated. I go to work as long as she feels okay, but then I worry about her all day until I get home. I stayed home at first for 2 weeks but she seemed mad at me like I didn't believe she would be healed, so I went back to work. I am so afraid to have her spend so much time alone, but she doesn't want anyone around. Helpless is what I feel most of the time which is bad for me because I like to fix problems. I love her so much it is SO hard to see her like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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