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fourteen months


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Saturday was fourteen months since Becky died. On Tuesday, I will have been a widower as long as she knowingly battled cancer. Which seems completely amazing to me because it seems like we fought for so long, and it also seems like she was just here. Those two time lines cannot possibly be the same. And yet the math tells me it is.

On a happier note, I took Katie to the pool Friday night. And she noticed that I had several moles on my back. And she laughed and said I should only have one mole like her and Mommy.

That just staggered me. She and Becky used to talk about their moles - they each had one and in roughly the same place - but it is something I know I haven't talked with her about since. How much time have I spent thinking about Becky's mole?

Katie is not yet five, though that is only a few weeks away. And yet fourteen months in such a short life and she still remembers Becky. It is not just the stories told by me and the others around her. It is not just the home movies. She remembers the actuality of Becky, and I am so thankful for times like Friday night when she can communicate it so well.

Thank you, sweet Becky, for the dearest gift I have ever been given in this little girl.


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