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I hate this time most of all

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I hate this time of treatment most of all. Charlie has almost finished getting daily radiation (14 out of 15) and he's getting weekly chemo. He is in the state of barely existing due to fatigue. But, he won't let me help him very much. He's just in that mood of disgust and grumpiness. He wants to do what he still can and not have me "hovering." Can anyone relate to this situation?

Luckily, it usually passes in a couple of days. He is really amazing at having a positive attitude and not complaining about anything.

Please say an extra prayer for him at this very difficult time and for me. I hate seeing him like this. It is very upsetting. At least, I know this too will pass shortly. Thanks and take care.

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:( Hello Tina--oh yes I can relate, and you're right--IT SUCKS! It is very hard watching him become so weak--and there's not a thing we can do!! It breaks your heart and at the same time I get disgusted with my husband because he thinks I'm hovering! God help us. I am praying for your husband and it I do hope he starts to get his strenght back.

God bless and take care,Nancy C

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For patience and peace....and tolerance. Ah yes, a big ol' helping of tolerance - on both sides of the fence.

Keep an eye on him from a distance, like when your kids were little and asserting their independence. Catch him if he falls, but stay back where he can't see that you're watching...

Hang in there!


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Relate? YES!!! YES!!! YES!!! My man thinks he's King Kong and nothing is ever going to get him down. Can you imagine a Mrs. King Kong hovering over a Mr. King Kong. Not a pretty picture.

I've learned mostly just to keep my mouth shut, be sweet, act like everything is normal and just help when he says help. Of course, I'm going from window to window and peep hole to peep hole watching him work out in the yard just to be sure he's ok. LOLOLOL!!! Hey! That's not hovering if he doesn't know I'm doing it, right? :wink:

Tina, my King Kong had chemo and radiation (after WBR) at the same time and it DID the same thing. He was so fatigued that he "barely existed", and it really scared me. He had radiation to his shoulder last year and that didn't seem to cause extra fatigue, but next week he starts radiation to his hip, and maybe chemo at the same time (hasn't been decided yet because he's pretty fatigued already). It has me very worried, but I'm going to try hard to not hover.

Try shopping therapy. Sometimes that works for me.

Love and hugs! Hang in there!


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Yep, I've been there and continue to be there. How much do you let them do for themselves and how much do you do for them? I continually evaluate that. Lucie is using a walker right now because of pain in her leg. I put her walker in the car for her when we go out, but if I stop in front of a place to let her out and then proceed to find a parking place, I let her get the walker out for herself. It gives her independence and it is also good exercise. My immediate reaction is to do it all for her, but for her own self-worth and health, I think it is good to let her do what she can, even if it makes her a little more tired. This is something I think the couple has to work out between them. I can certainly identify to "hovering" and I try not to do too much of it. Don

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Being a caregiver, I know we probably all have gone through those times. They just do not want to lose their independence. It is hard for us to sit back and watch while they are going through hardships.

When Joel was going through that thyroid funk after his Lung operation he was like a zombie. Shuffled when he walked and talked in a whisper. Soooo fatigued...But he took a shower by himself and did all his hygene things. This took him so long and he was exhausted, but he would not let me help him. At first I was taken back by that as I wanted to help but afterawhile I just left him alone. I knew if he needed me he would ask me.

Like Peggy, I was never far away and watched from distance, which he did not know. :wink:

When he got the grumpies, :shock: I just kept my distance. Everything passes. Like you said Tina it only last a couple of days. We just have to know not to take it personal. They can't help what their bodies are feeling. We just have to be there for support and to make sure they are comfortable.

Stay strong, :wink:


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I prayed this morning begging God for the Grace to weather the current chemo storm.

I read this thread and thanked my Savior for answering my prayer so profoundly and pointedly.

Peggy, Tina, Mary Ann, Nancy, along with SBeth, Ry and the other caring/supportive partners are the reason for any semblence of sanity I have left. ( I shouldn't mention names as I do not want to hurt or ignore anyone of our wonderful group~~please know that my heart is in the right place and I love each of our family)

Brian has been able to be out of bed for about 6 hours in 3 days. He is so sick and so weak. Yesterday was his birthday ~~ what a bummer day for him ~~

On the 17th we will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary and the 19th is Father's Day...........June is his favorite month.......I just hope he can find some energy before it is July!

I have taken the phrase:

"Short~Term~Terrible" as my mantra for today, and it has really helped. This is temporary........it is not out of the realm of expected occurances and it is not indicative of a prognosis.

It is sad, scary and cruel and unfair............it is CHEMO.

this, too, shall pass.

Thank you for being here.

I am so very grateful that I am not alone in my feelings, reactions and fears.



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