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Chris's battle with lung cancer was over so soon and you are probably still in shock. Rightfully so. None of us expect to lose someone we love. Medicine has come so far in the last 50 yrs. and people live longer.........

You are right, you will never be able to replace him. I believe that we will never replace those who we love. I will never ever be able to replace my mother, she was a one time deal. :wink: I will be able to find someone in time to trust, to mentor me, to confide in, and to look up to. But a mother....... no way. God made us all different with different personalities and traits, we made each one of us special. We create relationships that are unique from person to person and that is special on it's own. Relationships are always changing just as mine has with my own family since we lost mom. We seem to cherish we other more if that is possiable. We take the time to visit more with each other and we are more kind.

Christina, something you said in your post really caught my attention:

" He literally changed my life and gave me HOPE. We were from two completely different worlds and he brought me into his and taught me how to live.....how to be compassionate, how to take risks, how to be assertive, how to handle my emotions, and how to be anything I wanted to be. "


Chris sure has done alot for you. Some people never accomplish these things and you have at 23. Remember all of the things which he has taught you. You have some powerful skills that will help you to rebuild you life. I believe in time you CAN be anything you want to be. Hold on to that and never let it go :!::!:

Chris knew how much you loved him so don't doubt that for a minute. Something that might help you is to write him a letter, express everything that you feel you might not have said to him. You said that you can feel his spirit, he is near and he knows of your feelings. He doesn't want you to suffer.

I have the same feelings as you do about how my mom is missing out on life......... that is a real hard one, and I am not over that one either. :cry: Mostly, it's just me wanting her here with me that makes me feel that way. The thing that gets me through some of my most difficult times is my Faith in God. I believe that he has a plan for all of us and I have not doubt that my mom had completed her journey before she went back home.

Don't you worry, you are doing just fine with your feelings and what you are going through. The very best advice I can give you is to take one day at a time. All you have to do is to do your very best for that ONE day. :D

HUGS, Shelly

I forgot to dot by i's and cross my t's :wink: ooopps.

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Shelly's response to you was so well-worded that I don't feel I can say much else.

I have been so impressed with the genuine love and the maturity that you showed during Chris' illness that I believe you will rise to the occasion even now during such severe emotional pain. You have been through alot and healing takes time...be gentle with yourself...give yourself time.

God bless,


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