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An update on me jcawork/Jen


jcawork

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Doughnut and group,

Thanks so much for thinking about me. It means a lot having friends out there that understand.

I havn't been posting because I feel like I am such a bummer. I have been reading. I don't feel like I have much to offer and I am so sick of myself I hate posting my array of physical complaints.

Well, here goes the update:

4/27 Confirmed recurrance

May twenty WBR including weekends-

Suffered from burnt inner ears that caused a total off balance thing that just ruined each day. Inner ear steroids finally helped. When my onco looked in my ears he said "Ouch! Thats hurts to even look at". They were on fire-both inside and outside.

Flank Pain for 5 weeks have no idea what its from. Onco thinks its from the big ovaries (possible mets), Rad. Onco thinks its mechanical and I pulled something.-Been better for one week?

1 week break between WBR and Chemo-not long enough

4 days Topotecan-Did okay,Onco said I was not more energetic because of having WBR right before and they lowered my steroids because I cant sleep on them.

Week post chemo-WBC hit the toilet in 2 days 1.4 and only 0.8 granulars-Levequin and start Neupogen which makes me ache so much-5 days post chemo platelets hit 46 and holding there we hope. RBC ok for now.

So, I have spent the last 6 weeks, burnt, dizzy, off balance, holding my side from pain, tired, weirded out from chemo, tummy a bit upset, not much appetite, low counts, doing shots and lets not forget that the chemo kicked up my pneumonitis so I am nebulizing ever 4 hours and wheezing. Also bad pollen here in DC.

This past Sat. I felt human for the first time in a long time. Sun felt crappy again, today better again and far more active.

I am also still depressed. Not that horrible sinking depression when you first here the bad, bad news, but a foating depression where I occasionally think all the worst things, loose hope for a while, feel why bother with any of this and then it passes.

The board has had some crappy news lately and I actually loose sleep sometimes from reading it now. Mouse lives close to me and she and I had a similar month as mine in terms of WBR, but she is not doing well and I am very sad about this. Called her and wish I could do something to help her.

So there it is. I am hanging in there w/ the help of friends like you. Thank-you again.

Jen

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Jen-Glad you were up to posting. I remember the pollen out east, it is worse here in the midwest. All the ragweed growing in empty fields. Hundreds of acres of it. It is a pretty yellow but --AAACCCHHHOOO!!!

You keep hangin on, the day will come when you WILL feel better.

Love Cindy

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Glad to hear from you Jen. It looks like that flank pain may have been a pulled muscle or something similar since the pain has gone away - that's great news.

Hope the good days start stringing themselves together. Hang tough Jen.

How's your husband doing?

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Jen,

It's really good to "see" you again. I was worried about you because I know you'd been going through a rough time and you were so worried about the brain mets. I'm sure you know this already but wasn't it Rachel who had brain mets and who is NED again now? I think Ohiokat had mets to the ovaries as well.

I know what you mean about not wanting to post anything negative. I feel like I shouldn't post if I feel down about Claire etc because I'm not the sick one and I'm not with her every day so I've got nothing to complain about really. You, however, have every right to feel the way that you do and you should be able to post anything if you need support. As far as I can see all of you survivors have good days and bad but it all goes in cycles and you've been here for others in bad times when you yourself have been well.

I'm glad you're feeling more human again and I'm sorry that the treatments were so rough.

Dee

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Thanks for letting us know how you are doing. I agree with Doughnut - feel free to post your thoughts - positive or negative - we're here to support you. That said, I've taken to keeping a journal to write my thoughts down as I'm feeling them and I find that's helped me cope better, too.

My thoughts and prayers are with you - keep feeling better one day at a time.

Kel

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Jen -- as always, it's so good to see a post from you. Glad you had some good days this time, even if not as many as I'd like you to have. Wish you could magically transport here and we could commiserate over feeling icky. In my case, a lot of it was mental I think. I had felt SO bad during all the gallbladder troubles that I had a hard time coming back from it. Given the anorexic component of this disease (which the Oncologist was kind enough to explain to me and my sister) I was just not eating, didn't want to, so there. Ttthhpppttt. That about sums up my attitude.

Once I made myself start eating, I began to feel better and had more strength, and I have felt better this past 2 weeks than I have in a LONG time.

I know you can get through this. I think you are one strong lady, and I have a lot of faith in your ability to keep on going the best way you know how.

Hang in there. Will look forward to seeing more posts from you as you feel better. Take care.

Di

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