Jump to content

Two Years After...


Debi

Recommended Posts

Debi, I missed your post until today, for obvious and very sad reasons. But I just wanted to add my sincere congratulations on your 2-year mark, and especially on the fact that your tests and appointments have become more of a ho-hum affair! I hope your health remains a very boring and uneventful thing, altogether, from here on out.

You mentioned the thing about wondering why you're still here when so many other great folks are not. I think many of us wonder that about our own selves, whether we have cancer or not. It's pretty clear to me that it all has nothing whatsoever to do with who is "worthy" and who isn't, so I try to stop those thoughts, too, and do as you said: Live as well as I can to celebrate the miracle that is life, and to make those we've lost proud of what we're doing with the days we've been given. I do find myself noticing the good things more -- a sunset, a smile, a friend's kindness. Maybe that's only a way to keep my sanity as there are so many painful things, too -- or maybe God's just making the good things more obvious to keep me from losing it altogether.

In any case, I wanted to say congratulations, and I'm very, very glad you're here!

BeckyCW

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The last 2 years have been a patchwork of emotions, and hopefully the worst ones are behind me. I spent every day trying to be hopeful, some days succeeding, other days failing miserably at finding any traces of hope for my future. I spent some days planning ahead, and then spent the following days reprimanding myself for hoping, for believing that maybe, just maybe, my killer had actually left me behind and wouldn’t be making a u-turn to come back and get me. I constantly would ask myself why I thought myself worthy of life, when so many others had perished. I’m not that special.

Sitting here with tears rolling down my face. Damn Debi, that one paragraph so simply states what I've felt too, but could never describe or put into words.

Oh, but one thing - you ARE that special!

Hugs and prayers,

SandyS

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 months later...
  • 5 months later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.