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From Beginning to End


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Journal Excerpt:

Wednesday, June 15 Well, another cycle of chemo under my belt. (What an uncomfortable place to put anything!) Dr. Xuan has decided that she would like a full-body CT scan before my next infusion to see exactly what’s going on inside of me. And then the wait for results. This is the worryin’ time, this limbo state between taking action and waiting for results. All treatment seems to work like this. It’s unfair, really. Those of us who feel the need to do something are relegated to the sidelines without being given the opportunity to carry the ball. We want so much to take action – and the best we can do is wait for results.

12-steppers seem to have a handle on this particular issue of control. The Serenity Prayer is a favorite mantra: “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the power to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.â€

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Yes you have it right! Lot's of psychological research has shown that people with a fighting spirit tend to do better than those who do not.

I know how extremely anxious I am when waiting for Pop's scan results to come back......I cannot fathom how the person who is actually getting scanned must feel.

My husband will be up in your neck of the woods at the end of this week. He will be flying a C-5 Galaxy (out of Travis AFB CA) to compete in the International Air Mobility Rodeo. I'll have him tip the wing your way to wish you success in your current treatment :-)

Glad to see you post,


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your post was poetry - and I agree, knowing my powerlessness gives me the power to live my life in god's grace, as opposed to a futile struggle to gain control. thanks for the reminder. I have been struggling for two weeks with my mom's diagnosis and what's ahead for her, and your posted lifted about 400 pounds off my back. be well, and thanks.



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