Remembering Dave Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 I hope I have time to post all I want to say for now before Faith wakes up. I haven't read a thing of what everyone has posted over the last few days, but I did post a link to Dave's official obit on the obit forum. I wrote it myself. I meant to thank his doctors and forgot, but the pastor will do that for me in the eulogy. I have avoided the board the last few weeks because I knew God was coming for Dave soon and frankly, no one understood that like I did. No one. and I couldn't post that without sounding negative or pessimistic about Dave and I couldn't come on and post and not be honest, so I just avoided the board. last week I knew he wasn't going to last much longer but I hoped he'd make it until we moved into our new house, but thank you God for allowing him the strength to help me choose that house. One week before he went to the hospital he hobbled around the new house which thankfully was vacant, he used a cane, he somehow got himself up the stairs to the second floor, and he liked the house very much. a couple of days later he told me he was very very happy, because he could leave Faith and I knowing we would have a nice place to live after he was gone. the last couple of weeks he was in so much pain but put on his game face and tried to mask it, it just came out in alot of snapping at me, but I knew what it was, but hearing the joy in his voice when he told me that about the house was really something special I'll never forget. sometime later I will post the story of his last week or so, I think it might be helpful to some caregivers, I will post it in the caregivers section, and I think it will help me as well to share it. after I recover from this, get the financial and legal stuff straight, get moved, get settled, I am going to seek out a way to help others going through this, I would like to volunteer in the hospice department Dave ended up in (shall I say, rescued and brought to) but with working full time and having Faith I don't know how I will do that. I may ask for every Wed. off or something like that to volunteer. those people have really made an impact on me. and I stood strong through alot of adversity, I sort of amazed myself actually, so I think I actually have it in me to help others. Faith has been wondering why she hasn't been able to see Daddy in the boo boo house (her own term) this time, so I told her that this time the doctors couldn't fix daddy's boo boo, only God could, so Daddy had to go live with God to get it fixed and he'd have to stay there. she wanted to know if daddy would sleep in God's bed and I told her he would, with God on one side and Jesus on the other. she thought that was pretty funny, then wanted to know if he'd fly to heaven since it was so high in the sky, I said yes, she's been asking if we can fly there too to visit daddy but I told her it was too far for us to go for a long time yet. the questioning seems to stop there, so I think that may be doing the trick. she's mostly annoyed with me because I haven't been picking her up from daycare and I can't today because of the visitation at the funeral home, so I just gotta get through today and then after that, even tomorrow through the funeral, I can be more of a real full time mom to her. she is precious and special beyond belief. by the way, she is going home with one of the daycare teachers today, I'd rather her not be at the funeral home to see Dave, I'll take her home afterwards, but I plan to have her with me through the funeral tomorrow, but I have Dave's best friend's teenage daughter lined up to sit with us to take her out if she gets ansty during the service. she generally does pretty well during a worship service except during the sermon she's been know to say "that man talk too much", ha. I'll go for now, I'm rambling and quite exhausted. I miss Dave alot, but he was really suffering. friends are comning out of the woodwork to assure me that I will not be lonely, and moving back into town will help with that. somehow we'll make it. God Bless, Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kel M Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Karen, My eyes are swimming with tears - you're a strong woman. Take care of yourself and your precious daughter. Kel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justakid Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 I'm with you Karen! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Karen, I wish you strength to get through the visitation and funeral. Come back when you can. Rochelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Karen, your strength amazes me, yet brings back memories of so many feelings I had just after losing Dennis. Like you, I was so burdened to see Dennis in such pain. It was almost a relief to see the pain end. I'm praying that God will continue to give you strength and help you find peace. I know Dave is happy that you have a beautiful new home to raise your sweet little daughter in. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Dear Karen and Faith, May you find Peace to David's memory, strength and comfort to you both. I am so very sorry for your loss. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Karen, Praying for you that you find strength to get through this most devasting time..David will surely be missed here, may he rest in peace... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addie Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 I'm so glad to hear your 'voice' Karen. You sound like you're holding up pretty well..and I know sometimes that happens when so much is going on. Later, when things settle down a bit....is when it all hits you. Know that we are here...whenever you need to vent, unload or seek out a little comfort. You are strong. Stronger than you realized, I'm sure. Know my thoughts are with you and Faith and all of Dave's family. I'm glad he's at peace and no longer in any pain, and also that he got to see where you and Faith will be living. As much as that might have comforted his mind...I'm sure it does yours as well. Take care of yourself honey...and know there are many here sending you thoughts of strength and healing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Hi Karen, You are an exceptionally strong individual. Many prayers going out to you and Daves family for peace and strength. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitkathi Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Karen, Dave would be so proud of you. What an amazing wife and mother. Kathi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Hey, Karen. I am glad you are getting the support you need. We are here, too. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDianneB Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 I can only echo what everyone else says & feels -- so very touched by your post, and that you took some time to do it. Take time to grieve and then heal, and one day -- believe it or not -- the first thing to come to your face when you think about Dave will be a huge smile rather than tears. Right now, it's time for tears and grief from your loss, and we all grieve as well. Take care. Thinking about you all. Di Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Ry Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Karen, I am sending my best to get though. Your beautiful daughter will help with the loneliness. You are a intelligent woman and will do well getting though this new time in your life. John Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carleen Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Karen you are amazing. I hope that someday I may have the kind of strength I see in you. I love the fact that in the midst of all this turmoil and grief, your thoughts go out to others and you have such a strong calling to help others going through the same thing. I think David would be so very proud of you as I know all of us here are so moved by you and the wonderful support and caring you give. Please accept my most sincere condolences. You and Faith are in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Thank you so much for taking the time to post to us. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your beautiful daughter. It is good that Dave saw the house. I'm sure it gave him much comfort to know you will be settled. I'm glad you have friends coming out of the woodwork. Use them and let them help--they want to do something. Through school I was able to have some dealings with a grief counselor for children. She would make booklets about the parent, and I'm sure use each page as an opportunity to talk about them. One little step at a time. hugs gail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Karen, You are such a brave and courageous woman.... Dave must be so proud of the way you are handling this... I know the enormity of it has not hit yet, when it does, we will be here for you anyway we can. It is so hard to see someone you love suffering, that sometimes it is a relief to know they are no longer in pain. I pray for you and Faith. I am so glad that David got to see your new home... Love, Sharon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lindseysmom Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 My heart is just breaking for you. Best Wishes, Dee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haylee_38 Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Karen, I echo all the above post. You are truely an amazing and strong woman and Dave would be so proud of you. My heart goes out to you and Faith and my prayers are with you both. Haylee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fay A. Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Do what you must for yourself and Faith, and know that you are cared for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kickincancer Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 I am speechless all I can say is I am so sorry for your loss and you and Faith will be in my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mhutch1366 Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Karen, God grant you the strength to do what you need to do. I hope David doesn't play the trumpet too loud and scare all the fish, or Tbone and bobmc and Earl won't catch any! Remember, we love you. Having a small child to look after is a real blessing in and of itself. Prayers, XOXOXOX MaryAnn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berisa Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Karen, thanks for your post and let us know you are doing ok now. My prayers are with you and Faith. Dave is an incredible man and i believe, he is fine now. I am so touched with the conversation between you and Faith. Especially you said Daddy is now in God's bed. I believe Dave is now with God and Jesus and all other angels and believers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Karen, You are so beautiful and strong.... Keep doing what you need to do, and know that we'll be here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Hi Karen, My heart is also breaking for you. I love the way you handled this with Faith, and I am very glad to know that you are surrounded by a lot of family and friends. I knew from our emails that things were getting really bad, but I sure didn't expect this quite this soon. From the way you and Becky have described David's pain, I am glad that the pain is over for him and that he is now resting in the peace and tranquility of God's amazing grace. Sending you all my love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SBeth Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Thank you Karen. In these darkest days you look to the future and an opportunity to reach out and help others; I am learning so much from you. From your strength and courage I can feel that there is hope. From your compassion, I can see and feel your faith in God. May He continue to be with you thru the days ahead. All my prayers and my deepest sympathies are with the whole Chapman family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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