Treebywater Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 I'm just kidding of course about the strangling. Really the last couple of days, while she has spent a lot of time in bed, she's seemed more up, and stronger than ever. And today she is pushing all those mother/daughter buttons, "Val... get the stick out of your rear and feed that baby more than breastmilk. She needs to gum on a cinnamon roll!" "I TOLD YOU I wanted it THIS way." With all of her usual irritating and endearing humor and charm. I guess I have missed it. I'm having to watch myself though, because I am finding myself irritated and I know that is as much from overload as anything. The first few days of separation from husband always suck, I'm tired, baby's grunchy, and Mom's the mouth of the south. Overall though, I'm just glad she seems to be feeling better. I'm praying that the results of her last scans (We'll get them Tuesday) will be decent. Mom has indicated that if we don't get some good news out of them, she may choose to stop treatment. Trying to walk through that road carefully. Hopefully we'll see something encouraging. Don't know why I typed all that. I guess I just wanted to. Hooray for Mom feeling good enough to push my buttons... Now to go pray for patience! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 great post. I am so glad I'm not the only one who struggles with the hard parts of being with my mom while she's so afraid - and I know from experience it gets worse when she's in pain. I don't want to take it out on her, who WOULDN'T be cranky. it's so good to know I can come here and vent. your baby is gorgeous. love to all three of you strong females! xoxo bunny Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
janetg Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 I loved your post. I felt guilty this week after hearing recurrent sighs and "oh my God" day after day and telling Ron that he has to choose some other words to use. I just wanted to get out of the house for awhile and get away from his sadness. I felt guilty when I told him to pick two more words to describe how he was feeling but I just couldn't help it. After I said it though, I thought that I should have kept my mouth shut. But thankfully, he just chuckled so I guess he wasn't mad. Some days the strain is just too much - it's not just what he's going through, it's working fulltime, and visiting my dad in the hospital everyday that gets to me sometimes. Then there are days that just simple pleasures seem to make live worth living. I hope that your mom gets a good report next week. I, daily, want to strangle my mother. Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don Wood Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 Boy, can I relate! Whenever Lucie is coming out of feeling bad and is feeling better, the list of things for me to do and the orders increase! I just take it as a good sign that she is better. Don Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDianneB Posted June 17, 2005 Share Posted June 17, 2005 We just settled my 91 year old (will be 92 in August!) mother into an assisted living facility. We thought we'd have to hogtie and drag her there, but she actually recognized that she could no longer live alone, and this was a very nice place to be. The one drawback was that she would have to stay in the nursing home section for a few months until Medicaid is approved before moving into her apartment. (It was the only way this place would guarantee her an apartment -- if she was already a resident.) Boy, I know all too well about having my buttons pushed! It's part of Mother 101 training, I guess - especially with daughters! My mother knows exactly how to play each one of us like a cheap fiddle, and get what she wants. Do we mind? Heck no. We are determined to let her live as comfortably as she can in this new place, and use the money from the sale of her house to make her last years really good ones. She can be a real pill to take care of, and I'm glad she's somewhere that she will be looked after and have 24/7 caregivers around her. Right off the bat, she didn't like her first roommate. She also figured out that if she'd go to the cafeteria for her meals it was better than waiting on them to bring it to her after it was cold. She met another woman there who didn't like her roommate either, so the two of them joined up and had the staff pull a switcheroo, and now they are roommates! It appears they may become good friends. She just won't stop! Hooray for all our moms who push the buttons and enrich our lives. Di Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missyk Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 Just couldn't pass up a line of posts about our mothers pushing our buttons.....and wanting to strangle them!! God love them, they do all they can to make us the strong women we are...but SHEESH, there's nothing like a good ole "mom guilt trip" to make your day complete! Oh, and NOOOOO, i've not started doing that with my daughter! Honest! LOL OK, maybe i have! Thanks for a good warm fuzzy feeling this morning before heading up to spend the day with that great mom of mine in the pool with "the grandkids"! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maryanne Posted June 18, 2005 Share Posted June 18, 2005 Hi Val, I also know exactly how you feel about your mom pushing your buttoms. My mom who is 94 always did that and boy did that irritate me. Now see her lying in ICU with hopitals tubes all over her and her not being able to communicate, I would welcome some of her sassy remarks. Take care, you are just being human. Maryanne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatieB Posted June 19, 2005 Share Posted June 19, 2005 Thank you for the post. It is so true...no matter how much we love our parents or parents love their children- we know how to push each other's buttons! Enjoy it, and don't forget to take care of yourself so that you won't really want to strangle her! LOL ((HUGS)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stand4hope Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Hi Val, Boy, can I identify. My dad couldn't have been a sweeter patient when he was ill, but my mom - now that's a different story. You did it her way or it was the highway. She was going to do what she wanted to do, when she wanted to do it, how she wanted to do it, and where she wanted to do it, and nobody - not her kids, not my dad, and not the doctors were going to tell her what to do. No smoking in hospitals? Right? Well, my mom didn't like that rule! She smoked in the bathroom in her hospital room. They took away the cigarettes once, but she was too smart for that. She already had them hidden everywhere you can imagine, right along with a little bit of whiskey. She would smoke and drink when she knew they wouldn't be back for a while, and when she was well enough to walk down the hall, she would go into an empty room and smoke in that bathroom. Of course, they knew she was doing it, and depending on who the nurse/doctor was, they would look the other way. As onery as she was, they loved her for it. She never really talked mean to any of us because we knew better than to give her any sass. :) It wasn't until she wasn't well enough anymore to boss everybody that I realized how special she was to be so independent and outspoken. It didn't seem right to be doing things for her because she was always one to do it herself. I'm glad your mom is feeling well enough to pick at you, but sorry you have to be the pickee! Love, Peggy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Praying for good scans for Mom and patience for Val!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elaine Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 I am glad your mom is well enough to do what we moms do best! Just you wait, lol! Caroline just might have a thing or two to say about you! love and fortitude elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindi o'h Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 wrap one of those silver-studded leather dog collars around her neck so that when the white knuckles start to grab, at least she won't get hurt. Cindi o'h Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Val, Sometimes I just click on your posts to get another glimpse of that sweet little baby girl. Just about the cutest I've ever seen and she never fails to bring a smile to my face! Thanks! Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDianneB Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 I'm with you, Kasey. Is she just a little doll or what? Di Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted June 20, 2005 Share Posted June 20, 2005 Me, too. Everytime I see that sweet little face I feel hugged. P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
randired Posted June 25, 2005 Share Posted June 25, 2005 Oh, hun! I feel you! My mom was the worst when she was feeling better. Screaming at me that I have to get a bigger house before she dies or something a bit outrageous like that. Its hard to keep a tight lip. but hang in there. I am glad she is feeling better on days. About that baby, your doing a wonderful job! keep that mommy gold going! You and her will be healthier in the long run for it. Take it slow with the solids, we dont want to overwhelm her. Boy I miss those days where a little rice and bm was an exciting adventure. Now the excitement of the day is which bug is he going to bring me or how many times can he attempt to run into the street before I take him inside for the rest of the afternoon. Oh, savour the moments! Hugs to all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ladyintheglen Posted June 26, 2005 Share Posted June 26, 2005 Hello All! I am not taking care of my mom (unfortunately) but am taking care of my husband. I tell people that I've hidden all of the sharp knives...the problem is I keep remembering where I hid them! My best advice is to take good care of yourself. We all have those feelings and are normal because of them. Do some little nice things to pamper yourself. You deserve it. Manicure or pedicure anyone??? How about a quiet walk in the park? God Bless us all! Ladyintheglen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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