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Struggling


stand4hope

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Don is struggling and so am I. I’ve started this post twice now and deleted it both times. Maybe this time I can finish it.

In addition to the new liver mets and the extensive bone mets, we learned yesterday that Don's brain tumors have almost doubled in size in the past 3 months. The largest one is now 4 cm. and the others are about 1.5-1.7 cm. We meet with two oncologists on Monday to decide whether to do Novalis again (SRS-stereotactic radiosurgery).

The radiation onc gave me the “quality of lifeâ€

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oh Peggy, my heart was breaking for you and Don while reading your post.

I'm at a loss for words.

Please know that you and Don are in my prayers and will continue to be.

Love,

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Peggy

We have PM'd about this stuff already, but I just want to say again that I am sorry for what you are going through, and I wish you both the very best.

PS - I think that was a VERY funny joke - my parents do stuff like that too!!

Love

Karen

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Peggy,

I'm so glad you told us what is going on. You're not dumping. We don't have to be Pollyanna's around here. The truth is sometimes this stuff sucks really bad and hurts excruciatingly and the beauty of this place is we get to take turns cheering each other on, and being the ones who need the cheering.

I'm so sorry to hear that things are at such a difficult place for you and Don.

I am so glad though that you are taking measures to care for yourself and process through this. I'm glad you have sought someone out to talk to, and that you've shared here.

We're here for you good and bad.

Praying for you both.

Val

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Oh Peggy, I am so very sorry to hear things have turned in the wrong direction for you and Don. Oh Geezzzz, when will they find a cure for us?

I have to say this though, when you said Don told you that his hip isn't a good place to be joined, I thought for some odd reason he was going to say,

(Well, if we're joined at the hip will you step up to the plate and do the next radiation treatment for me)! :roll::wink:

When I was doing my chemo, my husband Maurie always went with me. Well, long story short, my veins were getting very hard to get at, and low and behold, my dear and darlin hubby said, "To bad you don't have good veins like mind"! :D:shock::roll: Well, on that note, you know what I said? Of course I told the nurse he would sit in for me on my next chemo day. :roll::D

As I have said before, you have had a very full plate over the last 18 months or so. It's time to look into a new plate or a new dishwasher that will really clean that plate good for you. :wink::P

IF it were only that simple!

I wish you great strength, and much comfort to Don and you as you continue this nightmare journey. I know what it feels like to have the bottom fall out.

Good luck with your counseling. Sure can't hurt to get extra support and good sound advice. Good luck to you.

Best wishes to you and Don and your son.

Connie B.

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((((((PEGGY))))))

I feel so for you and Don. This disease just sucks! I am here for you. Thanks for letting us know what is happening. I will be praying for healing...peace...comfort...wisdom...and patience. Glad you are seeing a counselor. I could not have made it this far without mine.

PM me if there is ANYTHING I can do. Attitude is so important and it is good that Don is continuing to remain in a good frame of mind. Take care.

Love ya,

Tina

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Peggy,

I can only imagine the pain and stress you are experiencng. I would do ANYTHING to take it away and it hurts that I can't.

All of us here are offering one big collective shoulder for you to lean on and tons of prayers and hopes.

love and fortitude

your friend

elaine

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Peggy,

You have been one of my biggest supporters and now I hope that I can be of some help to you. Know that I pray for you and Don daily. I knew things were not good but I didn't realize just how bad things had gotten.

It hurts me when my friends are having such a bad time of it and I can't do anything except pray and listen. I am here for you if you need an ear. Its great to hear that you have someone to talk to on a regular basis. I hope it helps you. About all I can do is tell you I am thinking about you and hoping that Don doesn't have alot of pain etc. You two are a wonderful couple, so I know facing this together is hard on you both.

Nina

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Peggy~

I am sorry Don has had progression in his disease. His has done so well I know this must be heart wrenching for you to see things changing. You are both amazing and I hope he's got some more tricks up his sleeve yet.

Rochelle

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Peggy,

I think there's a lot of merit in being able to talk to someone. I saw a therapist for about a year after diagnosis, and I always had this board. They both helped a lot.

I wish you strength and a couple of good shoulders to lean on.

Cindy

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Peggy,I'm very sorry to hear this.I am glad you shared with us.

I hope Don is holding up as well as he is letting on to you.I know first hand how difficult the quality vrs quantity decisions are.

As for you dear friend,you have supported so many of us for so long.Please remember we are here for you to talk to.(my wife and I are here for you to talk to at any time).

Easy to say and hard to do but please take care of yourself thru all this.

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Peggy....

You've done so much for so many around here, for so long....don't you dare think of sharing with us as "dumping". I hope it has been a little cathartic for you to share with us, just what has been going on for you. Often times, it does help just to get it all out...and in that vein, I'm glad you have someone to talk to there, too.

I guess times like this are always in the back of our minds...eh? That it will come to where our options don't seem as full and the worry becomes, just how much more can the body take? How I wish I could change things around...make the prospects seem a bit brighter and more hopeful for you and Don. :(

Of course you know you will continue to have my best wishes and thoughts coming your way...and I hope it is some comfort to know we're all here for you, and will do what we can to support you throughout.

Dammit, this disease needs to be wiped out. :!: You and Don have been an amazing inspiration around here...and you both continue to be. I hope you keep on finding things between you to chuckle and smile and laugh about...as those are things that greatly increase quality of life, I think. 8)

Know you're in our thoughts....

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Peggy,

I am sorry about what's happening on Don and you. Brain mets is obviously affecting his balance and his mobility, I would suggest to do the radiosurgery if possible without bringing pain to Don. I understand how aggressive the brain mets is, also I understand how heartbreaking while you see your love one's weakening and declining everyday, but like Don said, he is very brave and willing to take the chance of doing the radiosurgery.

Certainly, neurosurgeon's suggestion and advice must be taken into consideration. If I would had a chance to offer my dad for having radiosurgery, at this moment I accept undoubtly. We do the best, God do the rest...

My prayers are with you, glad that you went for counselling. You are in my thoughts.

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Peggy, I am saddened to learn of these turn of events. Don still has a good attitude about it and that helps a lot. We know that miracles happen everyday. Praying that one is headed your way.

While it is true, there has been a lot of sad news on here lately, there has also been some good news. Altho you may feel down at times, you need to come here if only to get a "pick me upper." Praying for you and Don.

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Thank you all my wonderful friends. I'm doing a lot better than last week, and Don is doing pretty good, too. He's having a really good morning, and when I compare where he is physically to others on the board, he's really doing very, very well.

It has just been a big shock to have the cancer take off so fast after so many months of stable, and like I said, the "visual" changes to my eyes have just been difficult.

He's really in good humor. In fact, this morning he told me he was going to wear our son's "I wish I were an Oscar Meyer weiner" shorts to radiation on Monday so he could entertain the ladies. It's got a picture of a great big hot dog on it. :):)

Have a great weekend!

Love,

Peggy

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Peggy,

I am so glad you posted. It is so important to get things out. I can't say I know how you feel exactly not having walked in yoru shoes, but I want you to know that I have felt some of the same things as you.

When my mom got diagnosed, the doctors were not optomistic at all and I wanted to yell at every smiling or laughing person "how can you be so happy when my mom is so sick"???? It got frustrating and I also lost tolerance with people.

Also, to comment on being snappy--me too! Things people said at times just bothered me so much, I snapped back.

The tears are normal, let it out.

ANd if you ever need to cry or vent and don't want to do it publically, you know how to reach me!

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