Daddys Little Girl @ 35! Posted June 21, 2005 Share Posted June 21, 2005 Today I read through some of the comments that you all have posted regarding me venting yesterday. I guess it is easy for me to come here and vent out to everyone knowing that I am hidden in the shadows of my keyboard. Love that!!! With that being said let me also say that I have not forgotten my daughter, I have not gotten swallowed up in a bottle of booze, I have not turned my back on anyone. But when I want to get a little selfish and wallow in self pity, then I'm going to. That doesn't mean that I don't want to sleep all day, get swallowed in a bottle of booze, or turn my back on everyone and just runaway!!! That doesn't mean that the idea of sleeping away about the next 8 months (getting me past Thanksgiving and Christmas at least) has not been the most fabulous sounding thing in the world to me. Then I think to myself that maybe I'm more extreme then others??? Maybe others are more extreme then I am and I just don't know it because I don't see it or hear about it. Really if we think about the grieving time that we give when a loved one dies it is so ironic. (No sarcasism intended!) We give years of our life perfecting everything we do but there is no time for something like this. I just don't get that??? Reading through some of the postings here has been liberating, painful, cleansing, and uplifting at times. Sometimes when I want to laugh I can just call a friend. At 3am when the family is all sleeping there is no one to call. That is when the burden is on me and me alone! And yes -- I am a night owl anyway so why should this time be any different? Anyway, for those of you who replied to me and my babblings yesterday, thank you! I appreciate all your concern. Rest assured, I am still in the land of the living, my daughter and husband are still number one in my life, and I am trying to figure out the best way to be there for the person that this is more than likely affecting way more than anyone else right now -- MOM! Any suggestions on what I can do for her is always welcomed. I want to be there for her as much as possible without smothering her too much! Thanks again until later.... PS -- Day 2 at work was not as bad as day one. Life does go on and gets better, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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