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Mom and Dads Anniversary


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Well, yesterday would have been Mom and Dads 54th wedding anniversary. I took the day off from work and spent the day with Mommy. It was very hard for her and I thought she shouldn't spend the day alone. Daddy has been gone 6 months now and she says it is getting harder with each day instead of easier... I wish I knew how to help her. I thought maybe some of you who have walked in her shoes could shed some light on what I can expect... and if what she is feeling is "normal", whatever "normal" is... I don't even know anymore. Any advice you can give me on how to help her would be appreciated. Thanks my friends. Love, Sharon

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six months thru the end of the first year was awful for my mom. She said in the beginning at least she was comforted by the fact that he wasn't suffering anymore, all the worry, the pain, the cancer "stuff" was finally over(surreal/relief)......then the "getting used to" being alone and doing things for herself for the first time ever...(fear/loneliness).....days and months go by, all the while there was a feeling that daddy was "away" or "on vacation" (shock/denial)as she is learning this new way of life...

Then she's hit with the realization that she really IS alone, that daddy isn't coming back, that he isn't on vacation somewhere or just "away", he is dead. d-e-a-d.

That's when it kept getting harder instead of easier, with that realization/finalization.

Your mom's grief is normal.

I know it's hard to watch her be so sad. You want to do something to take it away- but like with your own grief, you know that just isn't possible.

Talking to her, taking her out, getting her busy, keeping her engaged in life in anyway you can- does help. Pretty soon my mom was dealing with other things, getting up and leaving the house finally, thinking about going places and visiting people and talking on the phone again....

It's so hard- just keep doing what you're doing, be there for each other and love and support each other.

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I think Katie pretty well said it. Just stay involved with your mom. What she is going through is really normal. The first year and a half for me was very hard to get through.

Just stay involved with your mom and let her know you are there.

Much love.

Praying for us all.


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Thanks Katie and Shirley... Katie, your words hit home because Mom keeps saying... I know now he is really not coming back.... so i guess what you wrote is true....The reality is setting in. Thanks for your support (as always you never let me down) Love, Sharon

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Hi Sweetie,

I have missed you here. 53+ years is a verrrrry long time. I am sure your Mother feels like she is missing a vital body part.

It is over 10 months for me and I have days that I am just sad, sad, sad. Don't have any answers other than my mantra, keep busy, keep busy, keep busy.

As you can see this is my repetitious post. But I think of your family often and pray that your Mother finds joy each day.


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