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kimblanchard

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You poor thing I can understand how that feels. I have a book that I have read in my times of being down and even if you dont believe it or not there are somethings in the book that make you feel at ease. Its call the other side and back by silvia brown. I would find that book and read it. First it will help you put your mind on other things and second even if you believe in her or not some things make ya go hmm... I recommend it to everyone.

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The book by Sylvia Browne is a good idea. When my mother died I went to the library and got several books on life after death. There are so many now that there is an entire section of them. I have read many by Sylvia, some by Betty Eadie ("Embraced by the Light" is great!), some by James Van Praagh, John Edward, Melvin Morse, George Anderson, etc. etc. etc. Very comforting....

Blessings to you,

Peg

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First, please allow me to express my deep-felt sympathy at your recent loss. I lost my dear husband, Dennis, to sclc on December 15, 2002. I know that you cannot imagine right now that things will ever be brighter and the sun will shine again but THEY WILL! When I lost Dennis, I asked the same questions you have put to the members of this forum. No one can give an exact time frame of when things will be better, as it varies from person-to-person. Right now, your system is still in shock. Shock can be a wonderful tool for coping and healing. There is no magic time that things will get better...three months, six months, one year? When you turn a page on a calendar, it is another day you have managed to get through. After a time, you will begin to count weeks...then months. Every important date and milestone in Chris's life will be difficult for you. I made it through a Christmas without Dennis. Then I made it through New Years Eve alone...for the first time in 26 years. Then came Valentines Day without Dennis and his sweet little gifts. Then March 17th, which would have been our 25th wedding anniversary. Two of our three children's birthdays have passed. Dennis would have been 51 years old on June 10th. With each day, I think about what I was doing this time last year. This continues, but yet I am beginning to live for the future as well as the past. Dennis would have wanted me to live...as he would have like d to live! I'm sure Chris would have wanted the same for you. We cannot physically nor mentally die, although many times our souls and spirits seem utterly defeated. One day, you will wake up and for some reason things will feel a bit better. Then, every day thereafter becomes a bit easier. I can advise you to stay busy and to talk about Chris a lot. As long as you keep him alive in your memory, he will always be a part of you and your life. If you ever need to talk, please know that I am here for you. I am a survivor...and you will be too. This terrible disease took the lives of our loves but we cannot allow it to destroy our spirits in the process!!! God bless you and keep you safe!!!!

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Hello

I too have just lost my love of 23 years to LC on March 21st, 2003. For two and one half years we both battled this disease only to see it take him away. Its been 4 months since he passed away ( I count the 21st of each month now). Most of which I have had to deal with by myself. It has really been hard since I do not have any family, children of my own, no father no mother, sister, brother and really not much of friends you know close ones you have known like forever. I always had my husband we were each others family, friend, partner kindred spirit...and you want to talk about the lonelyness. Man somedays I just don't know if I will make it through the day. But you know you do...it does get better ONE DAY AT A TIME. Just like when we were going through all the stuff the doctors, hospital put him through, ONE DAY AT A TIME. People I work with keep saying to me it will get better that I am one heck of a strong lady (somedays I don't think so). I guess it has but the pain never really goes away I think it never does/will. But you learn to manage, get a grip realize somehow he would have wanted me to not stop trying, pick myself up and go on and keep going on. Find the comfort in knowing that one day we will see each other again and it will be like we never were apart....Its not easy, no not at all. I have to learn how to grow, trust myself, DEPEND on myself keep loving GOD even though sometimes I know I have made him mad at me, because of the anger you can feel at times. All of it is a roller coaster ride. One day your up another your not. But I find if you try and keep focused keep telling yourself that there will be someone out there who cares that you will make it past all those holidays, birthdays, aniversaries, certain dates that meant something to you and him. And one day like waking up you can say DARN I made it. But you will always feel the if only, the maybe I should haves. Just don't let it keep you down. I can only hope that one day I am granted the oppurtunity of having another love in my life just as wonderful. Not the same, it couldn't be. But something that will fill me up again and bring back the laugh, the hope, the dreams, the desires and maybe just maybe the knowing I am important and I did all I could and there is so much more I can do. Peace and Love. Keep the chin up and be comforted in knowing they are watching over us. LORD can you imagine they have the POWER NOW....lol

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