Connie B Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run into a burning building. 4. People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?" 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. 8. You can eat dinner at 4 P.M. 9. You can live without sex but not without glasses. 10. You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations. 11. You get into intense arguments about pension plans. 12. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it. 14. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. 15. You sing along with elevator music. 16. Your eyes won't get much worse. 17. Your health plan is beginning to pay off. 18. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service. 19. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. 20. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. 21. You can't remember who sent you this list. SIGNS OF WEAR "OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go upstairs and make love," and you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!" "OLD" IS WHEN..... Your friends compliment You on your new Alligator shoes....and you're barefoot. "OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door. "OLD" IS WHEN..... Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. "OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along. "OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police. "OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action," means I don't need to take any fiber today. "OLD" IS WHEN.... "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot. "OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not getting up to pee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasey Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 Oh Connie, you know me SO well!!!!! Kasey Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted June 30, 2005 Share Posted June 30, 2005 Geez,I'm surprised at how many of those fit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted June 30, 2005 Author Share Posted June 30, 2005 How many is that Frank, all but two??? It sure hit home when I read them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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