stand4hope Posted July 23, 2005 Posted July 23, 2005 Don had his 3rd infusion of Alimta yesterday, Zometa and his B12 shot. It really knocked him for a loop this time, but he still insisted on mowing the yard. I pleaded with him to not do it and told him that I would do it, but he wouldn't listen. Our son had another milder pancreatitis attack last week, so he was also down in bed pretty weak. Anyway, while he was mowing with the tractor, he was practically laying down as far back as he could get and still reach the steering wheel, plus it's 90 degrees. I could tell he was having a really hard time so I woke up Mike. About that time, he shut off the tractor and when we looked outside, he was laying sideways across the tractor, with his legs off to the side, completely flat, with his torso hanging over the other side trying to struggle to sit up and get off. We ran out there, and got him sat up, and Mike helped him to the porch swing. It is his back. Don says it feels like it's muscular, up in the middle of his back. As you know, though, he has 7 mets in his spine, and one of them is huge in the middle of his spine. I called the onc (thank God his regular onc was the one that was on call) and he prescribed hydrocodone and ibuprofen. He said that even if he has a compression facture, they will still treat it with pain medicine until they could get radiation set up. He said if it got disabling to call him back before we take him to ER. Otherwise, we're supposed to call him Monday. He drank two bottles of water, took the pain medicine and is now on the couch. Mike was good, really good, but it tore him apart. He's out finishing the mowing right now. He will be able to finish it because he's no longer having pain, he's just weak. It takes a couple of hours to do the yard. He had a meltdown over his dad a couple of weeks ago and is doing better, so I hope he holds together through all this. Please pray for him as much as Don. He is really taking all of this very hard. This really scared me. I'm still shaking. Love, Peggy Quote
ginnyde Posted July 23, 2005 Posted July 23, 2005 Peggy, Your Don is so darn stubborn that he will somehow beat this darn disease. I can't imagine looking out and seeing Don over the tractor. I hope it is just muscle spasms which can be horribly painful. Of course, I will add Mike to my prayers, he has also had a tough haul. Peggy, make yourself a big bowl of ice cream and get your favorite book and sit and relax. You need a little 'Peggy' time. Quote
ellakc2 Posted July 23, 2005 Posted July 23, 2005 Oh Peggy, I know exactly how you feel on both ends. My dad had pancreatic cancer. So I know about the pancreas, very painful. Don just needs to know he is able and in control. Thank god your son was able to do it for him. I tryed to mow my lawn (the thick head I am ) and the boy next store finished for me. I was sooo tired and weak. I will pray for all of you to get a break soon. Hopefully everyone will start to feel better. Peg take a deep breath and try to relax. I know it's easier said than done. Love, Mare Quote
SBeth Posted July 23, 2005 Posted July 23, 2005 Peggy, How awful for all of you. I'm so sorry, but I'm so glad that Mike was there with you and able to help. Please take care of yourself and take Ginny's advice to find some time for yourself. Love and prayers, Quote
Ry Posted July 23, 2005 Posted July 23, 2005 I can't imagine how terrified you must have been. I hope it isn't a fracture. Hopefully your son can beat him to the lawn next time and keep him off the tractor. Quote
Kasey Posted July 23, 2005 Posted July 23, 2005 Oh Peggy! Wish there were words to make this better and ease your mind. I just don't know what they are. I hope Don is feeling better resting on the couch. I also hope he can start to realize that it is important to know one's limitations with this disease. It does NOT mean defeat!!!! to let go of some things right now. I will help you with the worry. You have quite a load, sweet Peggy. I am glad Mike is doing better and that he is there with you. Hopefully the rest of the weekend will be uneventful and Monday you can start to get some more answers. My very best thoughts and prayers for you, Don, and Mike. Sending some strength too. Kasey Quote
pammie Posted July 23, 2005 Posted July 23, 2005 Will be praying for all three of you Peggy. That just sounds like a very scary experience. hang in there. PJ Quote
stand4hope Posted July 23, 2005 Author Posted July 23, 2005 He's better now and just got in the shower, but weak and kind of wobbly. We had a big talk. NO MORE MOWING!!!!!!! He said he had to admit it scared him when he didn't have enough strength to even pull himself up into a sitting position, and couldn't get off the tractor. I told him Mike and I would take care of it from now on, at least until he's off chemo and getting his strength back. For crying out loud, he still hasn't recovered from the SRS and has been having a lot of fatigue anyway. Ginny, stubborn isn't strong enough - BULLHEADED!! is better. I told him I didn't want him driving anywhere either where he had to get out and walk around, and I said it with GREAT FORCE! Believe it or not, he agreed - didn't yell or say bull*&%@ or anything like he normally would. LOL! I must admit I didn't know I had it in me to boss him around like that. It felt kind of good!! I have to admit I did start crying on the way to the bank and grocery. I called my sister and out it came. I'm better now, too. Mike went to a friend's house. This friend is about 32-33 and lost his dad to cancer several years ago. He's been Mike's "shoulders" through this whole ordeal. So, anyway, your prayers worked. We are all three better now. Thanks for your listening and thanks for the prayers! Love to all, Peggy Quote
Kel M Posted July 23, 2005 Posted July 23, 2005 My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours. Kel Quote
Patkid Posted July 23, 2005 Posted July 23, 2005 Oh Peggy, I am late to this........ Our prayers always include you and Don and Mike and we will continue them. How scary But Maybe it is for the best? At least Don has a good idea of what can happen...........though we understand his determination and admire it. Geesh........ We are sending hugs and regular prayer and lots of love and support. Brian and Pat Quote
Kasey Posted July 23, 2005 Posted July 23, 2005 Thanks for the update, Peggy. We can rest a LITTLE easier knowing all 3 of you are okay for the time being. I agree with Pat, hope this helps Don understand that SOME things can WAIT!!!!!Determination and a strong will are certainly necessary in order to deal with this disease. However, reality, too, must be considered! My very best still going out to all of you. ((((PEGGY)))), Kasey Quote
Frank Lamb Posted July 23, 2005 Posted July 23, 2005 Peggy,glad to hear everything is somewhat settled down there now. I was Bullheaded like that too but finally had to agree to let Connie help me with the mowing also.I guess it's a guy thing and we are too proud to have others do our chores until something happens that convinces us other wise. Glad you are all ok and prayers are going up to keep it that way. Quote
TAnn Posted July 23, 2005 Posted July 23, 2005 Peggy, How scary for you all. Yep, Don is definately stubborn. He has hopefully learned that the more you do, the more you pay when it comes to pain. Make sure he just lays on the couch and gets into a comfortable position and rests. I can tell you that if I try do do even something small, like sweep the floor, I pay for it in the evening with the back pain. Let him know that it's ok to just do nothing, until he is feeling better. Better not to push things unnecessarily. Glad he is feeling better now. TAnn Quote
shineladysue Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 ((((Peggy)))), For goodness sakes. I'm sorry to be so late. Was a busy day for me here. I can only imagine that your heart must have fallen to your feet when you saw Don. One thing I was thinking about too is that Don is on decadron, I believe, and it does tend to give a false sense of well being at times. I've seen Mike try to do things in the past after he has been given decadron, only to find out that he really didn't have the strength to complete what he started. Sure hope Don really will listen to you now and that he is comfortable tonight. Take care Peggy and know that you and your family have my prayers always. Love, Sue Quote
bunny Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 sheesh, what a scare. I am glad you all seem to have come through to the other side, I am praying for you nonetheless. xoxo amie Quote
BeckyCW Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Peggy, I'm glad you're all doing better, and also glad to hear you surprised yourself with your own strong will -- giving Don what for! I'll keep you, Don and Mike in my prayers and hope for no more scary or painful episodes. BeckyCW Quote
LynneH Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Peggy! What a heart-pounding time for you and a scary moment for Don. My heart actually jumped when I read this. I'm so glad he listened to you. I remember similar times with Jim. Once he insisted on climbing up on the ladder to clean the gutters, despite my objections. He had absolutely 0 strength and I was so worried. Well, he climbed the ladder twice, stumbled into the house and had to recover on the couch for an hour. He didn't want me to have to do it and it was so important to him to be able to still do things. We found a solution. He held the ladder while I climbed up and cleaned the gutters. I wasn't scared, he felt useful AND he could tell me how to do it right! (which may have been the point all along! ) Sounds like you, Don, and Mike have found a solution too. Sometimes they have to discover their own limitations while we put 3 fluffy towels over our heads and look in the other direction. My heart goes out to you, Lynne Quote
Fall54 Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Dear Peggy, I am so sorry that Don is having such a tough time. I bet you were scared and shaking!! It had to be such a horrible site from afar. I am so glad Don is giving in and letting others help until he feels he is strong enough again. I am also so sorry you're Son is having problems again. God has plan Peggy, I dont know what it is , but we must trust him. God bless you all, Jane Quote
Addie Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Men! Ya got something with wheels around the house....I swear they gotta ride it, no matter what! I'm sorry you all had to go thru this scare, but am glad Don is better and is willing to give up on the mowing. And yowza...to have Mike with another attack in the midst of all of it? Too much! Glad things are settling down a bit...and know I'm sending vibes your way for no pain, improved health and THE D*MN GRASS TO STOP GROWING!! Quote
Snowflake Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Peggy, Sounds like a very scary time, I'm glad that Mike was able to feel useful and needed but sorry that Don may feel the opposite. I hope Don puts safety first (shoulda been drilled into him by that company he retired from) and thinks out all possible dangers while going through treatment. (Stop watering the lawn....) Take care, Becky Quote
gail p-m Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Oh Peggy-- I just can't begin to imagine how frightening the situation was for you. I'm glad things turned out as well as they could. Thank goodness Mike was there. Yep, that's one stubborn guy that you're married to. It was a good idea to "lay down the law" about who will do the mowing... I know how hard it was for you to do that and how equally hard or harder it was for Don to accept it. Sending out many prayers for the three of you. Gail p-m Quote
trishnmiller Posted July 24, 2005 Posted July 24, 2005 Dear Peggy, I read your post a few days ago but it hit so close to home I just gasped! Here in South Florida the grass grows at an alarming rate all summer and I think my husband sees the shaggy lawn as a reflection on him. We can only afford the hired man once a month and I tell him it is OK to wait but he still insists on TRYING TO KILL HIMSELF once a week. I just shake my head and wonder what it will take to slow him down. Trish Quote
stand4hope Posted July 24, 2005 Author Posted July 24, 2005 He had another incident this morning. He insisted on going out for breakfast to Cracker Barrel and insisted on driving. Well, he had another one of those spells in the restaurant. I don't think it's his back. I think it's brain/head related because he can't remember what happened. I was getting our name on the list and I turned around he was holding on to a display rack to stay up. I said we were going home and he got mad and said he was going to eat. He snapped at me several times and people were watching. I asked the server to grab a chair and he yelled "NO!" We finally started to a table and he wouldn't let me support him, but the server followed right behind him with a chair. He was better after he ate, but I asked him if he got dizzy, did his back start hurting, did he feel like he was going to fall over, etc. He didn't remember! As we ate, I had a serious talk with him and told him I was driving home. I also told him that I have also noticed he gets winded and out of breath, and I was tired of waiting for him to tell me about it. He admitted to it. I told him the doctors can't help him if he doesn't tell what symptoms he's having. He said that he didn't want his onc or anybody to think he was crashing because he wasn't. I told him he wouldn't think that and he would just treat the symptoms. I told him he has been bossing me around for 37 years and from now on he was going to do what I said. I told him no more driving, no more walking into stores alone, etc. and he was just going to have to veg out, relax and work crossword puzzles until this passes. He pretty much agreed. I told him I thought he was having problems from the radiation to his brain or from the steroids since he isn't recalling things. He was very cooperative and said that as much as he's had done to his brain that could be true. He did hand me the keys to his truck, but while I was paying the bill he walked all the way to the truck and didn't sit in a rocking chair and wait for me like I told him to do. When I got out to the truck, he said, "Well, I just had to prove to you that I could do it!" MEN!!!!!!! Also, his sweats have now turned into drenching, sheets and blankets soaked, and even his pillow soaked all the way through - and it's a very thick pillow. When he gets up off the couch, his T-shirt is soaked. Then, this morning he said he was having chills. I think a lot of this is caused by the steroids and he is supposed to start cutting back tomorrow, but if he's having brain problems, that might not happen. It's hard to know what is causing some or all of this - chemo? steroids? brain radiation? brain tumors? All of the above? I'm going to call the onc first thing in the morning and fill him in. In the meantime, I'm hunting for a rope to tie him up with - just long enough to get to the bathroom. LOLOLOL!! Thanks for listening. Love, Peggy P.S. And thank you EVERYONE for sharing your own stories about this independence problem. It's helped me a lot to know that others have done it themselves and have cared for some who have. I loved the fluffy towel over the head, Lynne. Quote
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