What can I expect in the months to come?

[KissMeKate]

My grandma was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. She is 84 years old and will not be seeking treatment. Since she isn't going to get treatment they are not going to test to find out what kind she has. What we do know is that they found spot on her lungs, her lymph nodes are swollen, she's had laryngitis for about 5 months now, and the epidural pain injections she was getting for back pain (caused by osteoarthritis) have completely stopped working so they are thinking it has spread to the bones. What can we expect in the upcoming months? I am getting married in Jamuary, is there any hope that she will be around for that? What kind of symptoms can be expected towards the end of her time? I've never really had to deal with this kind of sickness first hand. My dad had kidney cancer a few years ago, but it was caught so early that they removed his kidney and he required no further treatment of any kind. Please help me figure things out by helping me to understand what is happening to my grandma. Is there anything in particular I can do for her? Thank you to all for your prayers and words of kindness.

[cindi o'h]

Hi kmk.

so sorry about your Grandmother's predicament. I cannot give you an answer because I don't know. But, with the vague diagnosis that she has had, I think it might be difficult for anyone to "guess" how long she has.

Most of us have our cancers well thought out and staged for treatment.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Cindi o'h

[Don Wood]

Hi! Since your grandmother has metastatic cancer (spread to other parts of the body) and is not going to undergo any treatment to halt it, I think it would be unrealistic to expect her to live until your wedding six months from now or be able to participate if she is still around. Without treatment, the main focus would be to control pain and make her comfortable. Sorry you have to go through this. Don

[Guest ziggytwo]

I am sincerely sorry to hear of your grandmother's diagnosis. This is a very difficult time for you, especially with planning a wedding. Please try to focus on keeping yourself healthy and proceeding with your plans. Include your grandmother as much as she wants to be included in these. Since no one in this world can really tell you if she will be here for your wedding or not, this may be your chance to show her that no matter what she will be with you, one way or another, at your wedding. Remember though that she is in pain and needs your comfort and love more than anything.

You are in our prayers.

[Cindy RN]

I agree with the others. She is going to need pain control measures. No treatment with the mets probably means she will not be here in Jan. PLEASE know that none of us can say how long someone can live without treatment. There are a few on here who opted not to have treatment and have outlived some who had treatment.

It is all in God's Hands.

Some suggestions-as for the wedding include her. Take LOTS of pics with the 2 of you with the wedding dress on, flowers and decos you make. Get some made with hubby to be with you 2!! You will be glad someday to have those.

Try posting on the General forum or the Path Less Traveled one. Dean Carl is on there and he is still kickin. Tell him I said that

God Bless.

Cindy

[Maryanne]

Hi KMK,

Sorry to hear the news about your grandmother. She most likely will not be at your wedding, unless she accepted treatment, that would probably prolong it, but who is to say how long.

Just give her all the support you can and show her a lot of love.

I prays she does not go through too much pain. There is pain managment for that.

Maryanne

[gail p-m]

I can't help but to chime in with my two cents worth. I fully realize that it is your grandmother's decision at 84 not to take treatment. I don't know if she has other health problems or how serious they might be. There is "drug" out there called Tarceva. Tarceva is not a chemo in that my understanding of it is == it goes after "bad" cells not like chemo which attacks "good and bad cells". So the effects of it are very mild compared to chemo. The most common side effect seems to be a rash which can vary greatly in intensity but can usually be treated with anything ranging from topical ointments to antibiotics. Perhaps, depending on her circumstances, if your grandma talked to an oncologist, she might be willing to try this treatment. My father, who is 81 and stage IIIb, is most likely going on Tarceva towards the end of next week. My daughter is getting married in early September and he is hoping to come to the wedding (a 5 hour flight).

Anyway, these are my thoughts about your grandma. With that being said, if I were 84, I have no idea what I would do in her siituation and her wishes need to be respected. But I would want her to know about this alternative treatment to make a fully informed decision. Needless to say, like chemo, Tarceva works for some but not for all. There is no way to predict in advance who it will work for.

Your grandma will remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Gail p-m

[tnmynatt]

KMK,

Welcome! Sorry you are having to go through this with a wedding coming. Any way you could move it up? Just a suggestion. I'll be praying for you grandmother and for you. Take care.

[bbays]

I cared for my FIL with mets, at home with hospice. Dr's gave him 3 to 6 months.

He did have pain meds. He made it for 2 months.

I have to tell you though that the 2 months were virtually pain free and I have many wonderful memories of our time together. I still feel very blessed for being able to care for him.

Cherish the time she has left. Make sure she has her pain meds. and hospice.

God Bless you and take care.

Barb