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Di, This may explain my decision not to spay or neuter


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Haylee, the grief we feel when we lose a pet often feels the same as when we lose a person. I truly understand that. But of the millions of unwanted animals, it's just part of the statistics that such a tragedy will happen. Your kitty had people who loved her, and died with that rather than dying a horrible, lingering, miserable death out on her own on the streets.

It's just for the millions of animals who don't have the luxury of humans who will care for them (meaning more than just feeding them) that I have an avid interest in spaying and neutering.

While I do sympathize - and empathize - with the loss of your kitty, I still advocate spaying/neutering. Each and every time. It's just my opinion, nothing more, nothing less.


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I know this really is not the place for a debate

on spaying and neutering are pets. I have thought

hard rather to even post a reply. I did finaly

come to the decision that I did need to reply.

After I lost Baylee it rocked my world hard it came

11 months after losing my mom to lung cancer and a

few months after losing eight of Baylee's pups.

I spent alot of time investing the risk of spaying

and nuetering and found it is alot more dangerous

and risky than people are let to believe. Infact

my third saint bernard Angel also lost her mother

during a routine spaying. This is not as rare of

thing as many may believe.

I just do not have it in my heart at the time to

chance losing another pet. This was sure not planned

and was a freak accident that the mother cat became

pregnet again. We were in the process of moving and

she managed to get outside. Does that make me a not

responsible pet owner? I would say yes if I was not

making sure every one of the kittens were not going

to very loving caring homes. I do make sure of this

and like I said before most of the kittens I still

get updates on how they are doing.

Maybe I am wrong in my thinking but when Baylee,

left me that morning I promised her it would all

be ok and I would see her tomorrow. I lied to her

and never got to see her again. I feel guilty to

this day and miss her as much today as the day she

left me. It is just something I feel is to risky

for me to try again at this time.


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Haylee, you don't have to explain a thing to me. I was just asking. Like I said, it's my opinion, and yes, I believe that it is the responsible thing to have pets spayed/neutered. The chances of having such a bad outcome are far less than the reality faced by so many animals every day on the street. IMO, having pets means about the same as having kids and being responsible for them -- as in doing what is best for them, even if it hurts us to have to do it. I think that since we are the adults and are responsible for these little creatures, it's up to us to put our own feelings in check when it comes to their safety and well being. It's a very difficult thing to do at times, for sure. There is also the reality that these cute little babies grow up and the "good homes" sometimes lose their interest, so the pet is relegated to the back yard or worse.

I lost one right after I was diagnosed with cancer last year and was heartbroken. And, believe it or not, I lost one just about 3 hours ago to a problem with her aorta (Button). Her back legs just stopped working, and she was in a lot of pain, so I had her put down. Again, heartbroken, and although I'd given anything to have her treated and try to keep her around a while, it was the best thing for HER to have her put down, as the treatment is quite intensive and rarely ever works even on young animals, and she was about 16.

So, do I just stop caring for them since they inevitably die anyway? My dad died driving a car, so do I never drive a car again because of that? Do I quit taking them to the vet because that's where they go to be put down?

No, I just continue to do what I think is the right thing and the responsible thing for them, since they can't make those choices on their own.


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Love the pics of Destiny!! I too have a dog-pug-her name is Roxy, I have chosen not to spay her. She is 5 yrs old and has had one litter of pups. 4 of them and all went to perfect pug homes. We just bred her last week and hope for new puppies in about 2 mos.I have had 6 cats and had all of them fixed. They liked going out too much. I have been on both sides. I believe we all need to choose what is best for our pets (children) and be the best parent possible to them.

Love Cindy

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We do share different opinions here. I have not

just made my choice on the fact of Baylee dying.

I did much research on the issue of spaying and

nuetering and have found this to not be such a rare

thing for a pet to die this way. This is a matter

that I can not do this to another one of my pets its

not worth the risk to me. I also can assure you that

the people who I have given the kittens to are not

going to just throw them in the back yard when the

grow into cats. I know these people and trust them

or I never would of given them a kitten.

I am sorry to hear of the loss of your cat. I do

know how painful it is to lose a pet. I know that

there is not one single day that goes by that my

heart does not ache over the loss of Baylee.

I am also sorry to everyone here at lchelp for even

letting this topic get started where it does not


I think it may be the time for me to say goodbye.

I am very sensitive and my husband has noticed

a huge change in me since I became a member here.

When there is a loss or someone is not doing well

it really gets me down. Sometimes to the point I can

not even sleep at night. He would ask me why do you

keep posting if it upsets you to the degree it does.

I would tell him because I care so much for everyone

there and felt I could relate in a small way after

losing both my parents to this beast.

I think after today it sunk in more to me. I have

to leave for my husband and kids they need the old

me back again. I guess it hit me that not only

may I not be a responsible pet owner. I am not being

a responsible wife or mother. :oops:

I do really love and care about all of you and will

continue to pray for each and every one of you.

Katie, My walk for lchelp is still a go for November

and I still may need to get some info from you.

I have the location and a friend who works for a

local tv station who has been helping me organize

the walk. :wink: We also have a few companies who

have said they would be happy to be sponsors. :D

I hope its a success and alot of monies can be



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This is the third time past I will try to

post, the previous were refused.


I respect and understand your opinion.

We always had dogs and cats and only once

did we have a dog spayed and it died from

complications after a few months.

We had male and female dogs at the same time

and never an unwanted pregnancy.

Thank you for the beautiful pictures and

the stories about your dogs.

Love you and respect you.


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What I see here are two people with opposing views...nothing wrong with that. Both parties detailed their positions and provided background information. Neither party said the other was wrong or belittled the other for their views/opinions.

No Harm...No foul, lets not look for a problem...lets smile and get on.


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Hi Haylee,

I really feel bad that you feel you have to leave. I hope it is not the conversary about the neutering that broke the camels back to make you feel you have to leave. You explained why (about the neutering) and that certainly is understanable. I am so sorry you went though all that pain with your Baylee.

If you are leaving because of your family and your sensitivity toward this board and it is effecting your everyday life, then I certainly understand, your family comes first. I just hope it is not because of the neutering thing.

I just want you to know that I think you are such a thoughtful person to give Cindi her cyber Luna and have that absolutely adorable web page for her. I love that site, with the butterflies and the music and of course watching Luna grow. I hope you continue to update us through Cindi.

I will miss your posts and your support. I wish you and your family the best of health and all the good things life has to offer.

When you feel comfortable again, I hope you will reconsider and join our family again. Or reconsider now and don't leave.

I just know that I will miss your cyber presence.

Take care and take care of that family and all your babies.


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Jim: "What I see here are two people with opposing views...nothing wrong with that. Both parties detailed their positions and provided background information. Neither party said the other was wrong or belittled the other for their views/opinions.

No Harm...No foul, lets not look for a problem...lets smile and get on."

Exactly. I don't know Haylee personally, other than from this forum, and she's been a real trooper here. I have really good personal friends who feel like she does, and it doesn't make me like them any more or less, and doesn't affect our friendship at all. We just disagree, and not just about that! What a dull world it would be if we all agreed about everything.

The important thing here is that we are all going through our own stuff every day, and all the others know is what we choose to share.

I miss most of the people who aren't here in the forum by their own choice, but sometimes that's just what they feel they need to do for their own well being. No way in the world would I presume to get behind all that and speculate about it.

Thanks, Jim, for seeing beyond it all and actually reading the wordds instead of projecting it into something sinister.


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I really shouldn't even reply to this post but feel compelled to do so. People are all different and have different views on topics. I don't believe that anyone has the power to say who is right or who is wrong but each person should be allowed the right to express their opinion. As a board, I believe we should all respect the opinions and views of our fellow members. I am very sorry to see any person leave this board because of hurt feelings. We all need to remember that we are here because we have all been touched by a common monster...lung cancer. We are here to both give and receive support from others. Please, let's stay focused on our mission and get back to supporting each other!!! Haylee...we need you and don't want you to leave us!!!

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