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Two years today


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It was two years ago today that my best friend, my husband and the father of my children lost his battle with this terrible monster.

How does one go on? I don't have an answer to that. I just know you do one day and sometimes one minute at a time.

God has seen fit to bless me still since then. He gave me time to cry, to grieve, to become strong again. He has blessed me with another man in my life that is understanding, caring, compassionate, and who is another soul mate. Someone who can hold me while I still cry for Randy at times and can handle the emotions I still have for him.

After reading about Peggy's loss yesterday, it just brings me back again to where I was two years ago. I did not think I would be able to continue and I felt I would never be happy or love again like I had with Randy. But God brought me through. Just like He does all those that believe in HIM. God was and is my rock. The one I can turn to when I am lost and in pain. HE has given me comfort in knowing that those I have loved so much in my life and have died are with HIM in heaven.

I think back to all those who have losted those that have gone through this battle with cancer and know we are choosen ones. We have this support board with wonderful directors and board members that allows us to share and give to each other. I know I would not be where I am today without this place.

Thank you to each and everyone who is here. You have held me up when I could not stand, you made me laugh through my tears, you have given unselfishly of yourselves, and we have stood by each other through and through.

So my five for today are these.

1. I am thankful for today. It means I am alive.

2. I am thankful for this board. It has given me strength when I thought I had none.

3. I am thankful for God, for being right beside each of us as we travel our journey's.

4. I am thankful for my children and friends and especially for Mike. Without them I would be nothing.

5. I am thankful that Randy is in heaven enjoying the fishing boat with all those we know and love and having the time of eternal life.

To those that are hurting, I pray for comfort. To those that are still reeling from their loses, I pray the world slows down for you and that the memories you have will sustain you. To those that have made this board a safe place for all of us, I pray God continues to bless you.

May we all have peace in our lives. May we all realize the blessings we have in our family and friends. May we all feel the power of love, hope, and faith. May we all get the hugs we need that help us to carry on. May God bless each of us and hold us in the palm of HIS hand.

I know Randy will always be in my heart and I know he wanted me to be happy again. That is now my mission. To live each day as if it is my last. To dance as if no one can see me, to sing even though I can't carry a tune, to tell those that I love how much I love them everytime I talk to them. To share my faith. To share my story so others can learn from my mistakes.

Praying for us all.

Much love,


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Shirley, I am so proud of you for this wonderful post. Randy really liked to joke and would want you to be happy. I am sure he is watching and is smiling down with a twinkle in his eye. Love Donna

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Shirley I know how hard the aniversaries are and I think your sentiments are beautiful. If not for my faith I don't know where I would be right now. Probably still as lost as I seemed to be most of my life. Bless you and may your life always see the beauty and love that brings you joy. Lillian

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Sorry you have this anniversary and that you lost Randy. So glad you have found another soul mate. It feels good that you have been able to strongly go on in spite of your loss, the pain, and your grief. Thanks for your sharing and encouragement. Take care.

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Shirley, my dear and valued friend....I am sharing the pain you are feeling at the anniversary of Randy's passing. As Lillian has said, these dates seem to reopen wounds that seem to be healing. On dates like this, I can feel the pain as if it just happened. I am so very happy that you have someone new to share your life with. I am also blessed with a wonderfully understanding man that encourages me to talk about Dennis and use his shoulder to cry on. After I met Dick, my best friend bought me a wonderful wooden plaque that I have hanging in my hallway. It reads...."When God closes a door, he opens a window." Thank God for opening that window for you, Shirley!

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Shirley, your words of wisdom are a comfort to me. I have had some bad days. :cry: For three days in a row I didn't want to get out of bed--and napped most of the day. It was the easiest way to deal with my pain. :( Every morning is another day without Mike and it is so hard. I hate this pain and emptiness. I can't imagine this going on for a year or so. I am happy to see some positive words from you. I'm sure this last weekend was very hard for you. But you sound so strong. I hope I can get to that point. God bless,Nancy C

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Dear Shirley,

Thank you for posting--in the midst of all the bad news with which we've been deluged, it was good to be reminded that life does go on. I'm so glad you've found someone to share your life with and that you're able to come back to us and buck us all up as well.

Keep in touch!


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