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Sorry about my post from yesterday....


Tim'sKathy

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I was really being selfish.....what I am facing is nothing compared to what Tim is and everyone else on this board. It had been a very rough 4 days...and I was exhausted. I am sure all you caregivers know about sleeping with one eye open and listening with one ear....

I guess it was just that Tim was doing fine and then this extreme fatigue hit him...now he has that and muscle spasms in his arms and legs. His dr. does not seem concerned ...she feels it was either the Zometa or is the Iressa. Said she did not need to see him until a month from when he started the Iressa...so I guess we just live with this until then. He is just so discouraged because he feels exhausted and then when he tries to lay down, he is right back up again..restless and just cannot sleep.

Katie....I have no one here at all for support...I have no brothers and sisters, mom is in a nursing home, my 2 stepsons have disappeared and Tim's family acts as if there is nothing wrong. So it's just me...and I am just getting so tired.....

THere are so many caring people on this board...I am sorry that I took it out on all of you..... :oops:

Love,

Kathy

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Dear Kathy,

There is no need to apologize for ANYTHING you said. Everyone goes thru this, VENT ANYTIME YOU NEED TO. There are many of us here who care and do listen. I have a small family, too, and sometimes i feel that my close friend doesn't listen/understand, so i've been there, too. It's OK.

I hope Tim is feeling better today. When I couldn't sleep i took Tylenol pm and it worked pretty well. Hugs and wishes for better days ahead for you both.

Joanie

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Kathy, please feel free to vent anytime you need to. No apologies needed. You know we understand, and we each have our own turn in our own way. I am very fortunate to have quite a support system, so I cannot imagine what it is like not to have that. It makes things so much tougher. So use this board however you need and keep us reminded that this is your primary, only source of support. We tend to forget in our own hustle and bustle. You're a super caregiver. Blessings. Don

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Dear Cathy,

There really is no need to apologize and you are not selfish. Eventhough I am the one with lung cancer in my family, I am very aware that my situation affects every member of my family very profoundly. I think it would be very hearbreaking to be the caretaker. My husband was just diagnosed with eye cancer, but he hasn't needed any special care yet. Life is crazy for all of us. Let's not apologize to eachother.

Thinking of you and Tim,

Ada

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Kathy,

You have NO reason to apologize! This is the place to come when you need to vent and not worry about what others might think. I know I have had those days when I vent to my husband and then go back later and apologize for anything I might have said. This is a very difficult time and everyone here understands. I wish you all the best and hope that the Iressa is successful for Tim. All my best to you both.

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Let me tell you,

I cannot imagine how you are feeling or how alone you must feel... I am so sorry. My brothers and sisters are absent too. I have MANY siblings and those who live near here make the obligatory visit once a month or so, no help at all to my parents really. I do have one brother who is starting to say he is going to help...who knows.

My point is, you have to make it thru the only way you can. If you need someone to cry to, someone to yell at, someone to vent to...WE are here for you. I've given my husband Rick an earful more times than I care to admin....the stress and emotional roller coaster are terrible.

I am only a part-time caregiver now, I still see my dad everyday, I support my mom, while trying to deal with my emotions too.

It's tough.... Give one of us a call, an e-mail or PM and you can vent or yell or snap or get angry at one of us.....really.

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Kathy, these two step-sons, are they Tim's sons? if so, invite them over or out to lunch. Give them their schedule of what you expect them to do for their dad. Do not take excuses...... people sometimes need a hit over the head to see what needs to be done.... i have caregiven many and in doing so, not just ones with lc but my uncle from old age (died 9/21/96) and my aunt and uncle (uncle passed away 5/19/03). i got my cousins involved in some activities. There is no way one person can do it all all the time.....i don't know if i gave them any way out either........blood is blood...... good luck and go for it.....

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Kathy,

One of the side effects of Iressa is the diarrhea, and one of the problems with that is it throws our body chemistry off. Make sure that Tim is eating a banana each day (potassium). It helped me with the head to toe muscle/tendon cramps.

Fay A.

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