Treebywater Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 I said good night to my Mom for the last time... I can't believe it's been a full month. It still seems so fresh and raw. It still hurts like it was yesterday. I know it hasn't been *that* long, but I thought a full month would give me the feeling of 'distance.' Not so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karenl Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Val I can remember when Mum was first diagnosed two years ago, that I just wanted time to STOP. And then, when she died, I just wanted to fast-forward a couple of years so the pain would have eased, but at the same time, I don't want time to move on, as it puts distance between me and Mum's physical presence (I still can hardly believe that I have to type the words 'when she died' ) Yesterday was two weeks for us. I know what you mean....and am sending love your way. Karen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patkid Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Val, Many hugs and much love and much sympathy. Hug Carolyn, mom's namesake, and feel how much your mother loves you. P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ginnyde Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Oh Val, this is a hard journey for you, it does get easier. There is no exact time frame, it happens differently for all of us. As a Mother, I want my children to miss and remember me for sure, but I want them to move forward and have a HAPPY life. Val, have a HAPPY life for your Mother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ann Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Val, please read Ginny's post again....and again! She always has the wisest things to say! I know how much you miss your mom and I know you are heart broken that she is not there to share all of Carolyn's "firsts" with you. But please remember that mothers want, more than anything, for their children to be happy and healthy. So Val....try and think only happy thoughts about your mom and know that she is always with you in your heart!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitkathi Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Val, I know what you mean. Right now is a lot harder for me than July 3rd. I kept myself so busy that I didn't have time to think of it. Now, when I'm sitting quietly is when I think of pop's the most. Flashes of his face in the hospital is what I see. Seems like yesterday doesn't it? Kathi Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gail p-m Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 ((((Val))) Ginny did say it so eloquently -- she wants her kids to think about her and miss her but also wants them to move on and live their lives. There's not a day that I don't think about my Mom and you know, I'm glad of that too! I loved her a lot. It is hard but does get easier. gail p-m Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunny Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 Val! you're so strong, of course you miss her! just keep on keeping on, girl. I wish I could do something. just know that I am here, thinking of you often with love and admiration. xoxo amie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Treebywater Posted August 19, 2005 Author Share Posted August 19, 2005 I am moving on... and I am doing my best to be happy... But I have to let myself feel the sad too. I promise I'm not sitting around crying in my cheerios today. I'm making breakfast (not just cheerios) for Andy, and playing with Carolyn, and taking walks, and reading a book, and watching Judging Amy on TNT (one of my favorite shows to watch with Mom, btw). Also calling Dad, and thinking about Mom. Am ok. Just feeling the feelings I feel I need to feel. (Now wasn't that a sentence?) --Val Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kel M Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 My thoughts and prayers are with you - it's so hard to live through something like this, but you're stronger than you know and you'll find a way! Like you, I'm okay with my need for sadness - I gave myself permission to feel my loss deeply from the get-go. I have good days and not so great days, but I believe that that pain will recede one day. We'll be left with gratitude and gladness for having been fortunate to have been daughters to our Moms. Kel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nancy c Posted August 19, 2005 Share Posted August 19, 2005 I understand, Val, we have to think about our loves ones and some days just feel very sad. That's ok--but make up for it the next day--and live life to the fullest. God bless,Nancy C Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharyn Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Good for you Val, you keep feeling those feelings and LET THEM OUT... thats the best thing you can do for yourself... God knows it is so hard... I wish I could tell you when it will be easier, or how to make it easier, I can't.... I wish I knew for myself... I don't... but I am here if you ever need to talk.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leslie221 Posted August 20, 2005 Share Posted August 20, 2005 Val, The hurt and loneliness for someone you've loved is always there in the background - some dates, things, sounds, smells just bring it to the forefront of your mind...don't you think? One day those memory triggers will flood you with more happiness than sadness. Till then, keep on doing what you're doing. You're a strong and loving woman. When I was a little girl, I had a much loved old dog who died. My "first" death. I was so upset. My mom said to me, "Every time you think about Ginny, she will feel you hug her in heaven." It made me feel better. My mom died over 25 years ago and I still think about her feeeling a hug when she's on my mind. Leslie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted August 22, 2005 Share Posted August 22, 2005 Hello Val, Normal to feel that some date or some days bring memories that are painful. My Mom died thirty years ago and she is still around in my mind, she always will, but now it is always with a big smile that I think of her. Hugs J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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