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A month ago...


Treebywater

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Val

I can remember when Mum was first diagnosed two years ago, that I just wanted time to STOP. And then, when she died, I just wanted to fast-forward a couple of years so the pain would have eased, but at the same time, I don't want time to move on, as it puts distance between me and Mum's physical presence (I still can hardly believe that I have to type the words 'when she died' :cry: )

Yesterday was two weeks for us. I know what you mean....and am sending love your way.

Karen

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Oh Val, this is a hard journey for you, it does get easier. There is no exact time frame, it happens differently for all of us.

As a Mother, I want my children to miss and remember me for sure, but I want them to move forward and have a HAPPY life. Val, have a HAPPY life for your Mother.

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Val, please read Ginny's post again....and again! She always has the wisest things to say! I know how much you miss your mom and I know you are heart broken that she is not there to share all of Carolyn's "firsts" with you. But please remember that mothers want, more than anything, for their children to be happy and healthy. So Val....try and think only happy thoughts about your mom and know that she is always with you in your heart!!!

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Val,

I know what you mean. Right now is a lot harder for me than July 3rd. I kept myself so busy that I didn't have time to think of it. Now, when I'm sitting quietly is when I think of pop's the most. Flashes of his face in the hospital is what I see. Seems like yesterday doesn't it?

Kathi

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((((Val))) Ginny did say it so eloquently -- she wants her kids to think about her and miss her but also wants them to move on and live their lives. There's not a day that I don't think about my Mom and you know, I'm glad of that too! I loved her a lot. It is hard but does get easier.

gail p-m

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I am moving on... and I am doing my best to be happy...

But I have to let myself feel the sad too.

I promise I'm not sitting around crying in my cheerios today. I'm making breakfast (not just cheerios) for Andy, and playing with Carolyn, and taking walks, and reading a book, and watching Judging Amy on TNT (one of my favorite shows to watch with Mom, btw). Also calling Dad, and thinking about Mom.

Am ok. Just feeling the feelings I feel I need to feel. (Now wasn't that a sentence?)

--Val

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My thoughts and prayers are with you - it's so hard to live through something like this, but you're stronger than you know and you'll find a way!

Like you, I'm okay with my need for sadness - I gave myself permission to feel my loss deeply from the get-go. I have good days and not so great days, but I believe that that pain will recede one day. We'll be left with gratitude and gladness for having been fortunate to have been daughters to our Moms.

Kel

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Good for you Val, you keep feeling those feelings and LET THEM OUT... thats the best thing you can do for yourself... God knows it is so hard... I wish I could tell you when it will be easier, or how to make it easier, I can't.... I wish I knew for myself... I don't... but I am here if you ever need to talk....

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Val,

The hurt and loneliness for someone you've loved is always there in the background - some dates, things, sounds, smells just bring it to the forefront of your mind...don't you think?

One day those memory triggers will flood you with more happiness than sadness. Till then, keep on doing what you're doing. You're a strong and loving woman.

When I was a little girl, I had a much loved old dog who died. My "first" death. I was so upset. My mom said to me, "Every time you think about Ginny, she will feel you hug her in heaven." It made me feel better. My mom died over 25 years ago and I still think about her feeeling a hug when she's on my mind.

Leslie

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Hi Val,

Sorry I'm late in my reply.

I know this day (and many more to come) must have been hard for you. It's still so new for you and your mom passed such a short time ago, you are allowed to cry in your Cheerios if you want to!!! :wink:

Heck, it's been almost two years for me and I throw myself my own pitty-party every now and then. 8)

Just know how much we care and remember that we are all here for you.

Hugs,

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Hello Val,

Normal to feel that some date or some days

bring memories that are painful.

My Mom died thirty years ago and she is

still around in my mind, she always will,

but now it is always with a big smile that

I think of her.

Hugs

J.C.

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