Ann Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 No offense California friends...just had to share this. Like, A Totally California State Residency Application... man... Name: (Feel free to use popular nicknames, such as "Moon Beam", "Dweezil", "Moon Unit" "Capt. Trips", etc.) Age: _____________ Inner Child's Age: _______ Age in Dog Years: _______ Age as told to you in a vision by ancient Mayan calendar: ________ sex: _____ M _____ F _____ Hermaphrodite _____ Still working it out in therapy Footwear: ____ Birkenstocks ____ Barefoot Condition of Feet: ____ Wash Daily ____ Wash Weekly ____ Like, whenever I get to the beach, man... Occupation: ___ Massage Therapist ___ Astral Counsel ___ Pet Psychologist ___ Channeler of the Dead (real dead, not merely Grateful) ___ Follower of the Dead, (Grateful) ___ Tie-dye vendor at Dead Shows ___ Vendor of "nice hot, fresh veggie burritos" at concerts ___ Cooking up a scheme to channel Jerry Garcia ___ Assistant to Shirley MacLaine ___ Rent-A-Mob protester ___ Purveyor of Fine Herbal Remedies ___ Panhandler claiming to be a veteran ___ Professional Guest on Ricki Lake ___ LA rock star groupie ___ Bottom-feeding LA lawyer ___ Professional Emotional Victim Name(s) of Significant Other(s): ________________________________ Relationship(s) of Significant Other(s): : ____ Astral Soulmate ____ One-night stand from the protest rally who stayed because the rent was cheap ____ My dog's massage therapist ____ "Just Friends" ____ They're really not that significant, but I'll try to claim them as tax deduction(s) Number of Children in Commune: _____ Number of Inner Children In Commune: _____ Number of your Inner Children which have been molested by one of Roseanne's multiple personalities: ____ Mother's Name: ____________________ Father's Name: ____________________ Where were you were conceived: ____ Woodstock ____ Monterey ____ Under the stars on in the commune's hot tub ____ In the back of a VW micro-bus on the way to a Dead show Name of book exposing your parents as inner-child abusers: Number of copies sold: ____ Number of Wind Chimes Owned: ____ Number of times you've given yourself a concussion by hitting head on wind chimes: ___ Number of time you've channeled dead space aliens: ____ Number of times a space alien has copped a feel off you: ____ Talk Shows on Which You Make a Regular Appearance: ____ Donahue ____ Ricki Lake ____ Geraldo ____ Sally Jesse ____ The morning news' surf report Number of times you've eaten your surfboard: ____ Above, while still in parking lot after tripping on your sandals: ____ Number of Grateful Dead concerts attended: ____ (if all, enter "on tour") Number of bongs you own: ____ Number of times you've drunk your bong water because the weed ran out: Political Party Affiliation: (Choose as many as you have personalities) ____ Green Party ____ American Communist Party ____ Socialist Party ____ New Age Astral Party (channeling the spirits of dead Romans) ____ Hemp Party ____ The Party-Hearty Party ____ Inner Child Abuse Hotline Party ____ New Age Goddess Party How far is your home from the waterline: ___ Miles ___ Yards ___ Feet ___ I like to wake up with sand in my nose and seaweed in my teeth, in true harmony with nature as it washes up my nose Number of surfboards owned: ____ Number of seconds you can talk without using the words "totally", "like", "man" and "fer shure": ____ (enter, like 0, if you, like, totally don't know) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
natalie Posted August 24, 2005 Share Posted August 24, 2005 I have to admit that I sometimes use "Dude" in my sentences. But I'm a conservative Republican...no birkenstocks on this girl. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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