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My first trip without Mike


nancy c

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Hello, everyone, and I hope I find all of you well. Today, I returned from a trip to Memphis to see my son. My sister and brother and brother n law met me there. We then drove 20 minutes to Tunica, Mississippi to stay at one of the casinos. I had so much fun and was so busy. But saying good bye to everyone, and flying home by myself was alittle emotional. I did cry alittle and was so lonesome for Mike. This was my first trip in many years without him. :( I just felt a real empty feeling heading home--and he wouldn't be there. I just have to adjust to the change.

I have started going to Gilda's Club for spouses who lost their loved one to cancer. I think it will help me. Somedays, I feel very empty and hollow. So, I do want to prepare for the holidays ahead of me. I don't know how I will handle those. But, I know I have to get out of bed--and face each day. God bless all of you. Nancy C

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(((((((Nancy)))))))))

I understand. I hear you.

You are taking all the right steps, but I know that some days there is just NO COMFORT, no matter how you try to be pro-active in your grief process.

It just plain hurts.

So glad you got away and made some happy memories.

Can you fly to Memphis from QC directly?

sounds very convenient, if so, it is just one more thing to love about my 'home town'.

Love

P

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Hi Nancy,

It's good to hear that you took that trip and had a wonderful time, though bittersweet I'm sure. It's all the little things, I'm guessing, that you don't anticipate will make you miss your loved ones so much. I can imagine boarding a flight some day alone and how much I would miss Bill. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you take these baby steps.

On another note, Memphis is a beautiful place. I travelled a bit further south to Tunica and had a GREAT time.

Take care,

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Bless your heart, Nancy. I'm right there with you. Our 38th anniversary would have been this Thursday, and then come the holidays. I'm planning to do things just like usual over the holdays - have all our family in and cook big meals and eat too much food. I'm not sure how I'll handle Thursday, but somehow, I'll get through it.

I'm so glad you had so much fun on your trip. Try to do it more often - I'm sure your family will enjoy it, too.

Love,

Peggy

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Hi Nancy,

I am so proud of you that you took the trip to see your son and it sounds like you really had a nice time.

But I am also sad that you had to make that trip by yourself without your Mike at your side. I could imagine how hard that must have been. But I know that Mike was there watching over you and was so proud that you accomplished this on your own.

Nancy, I never will forget how brave Mike was to gather all his strength to walk Nicole down the aisle and danced with her. At one point you did not even know if he would make the wedding. They say faith can move mountains and it certainly did for all of you that day.

I love that picture of him and Nicole dancing...he was so brave. You must have been so proud of him, I know I was.

Iam glad that you joined that group. That should help you cope and get support from people who have been there. People who understand what you are going through.

Be good to yourself,

Maryanne

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Nancy, I am so glad to hear that you had a great trip. I know how hard all the first things you do alone can be. For me, going to dinner alone was very hard. I commend you on having the courage to make this big step! I think Gilda's Club is a great organization and I'm sure you will gain much comfort from others with similar experiences. I'm so proud of you!!!

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I could not get out of bed and do this everyday--without all of you! I come home from work every nite and look on the computer to see what all of you are doing. You are all as important as my family. MaryAnne, thank you--I cried as read about your feelings for Mike. He was so brave. It all hit me after he was gone--how determined he was to be at Nicole's wedding.

Peggy, I know Thursday will be hard for you. Mike died June 21st and our anniversary was June 30th. My first without him immediately after losing him. It hurts and there is no way to get around it. :cry: I really don't know what I'm doing for the holidays. I don't know if I should stick with the usual, or change things this year--since nothing will ever be the same again. It's depressing to think about.

Anyway--thank all of you. Even with Mike gone--I can't leave this site. I just feel sometimes I can't offer much anymore, esp the newcomers. It upsets me to see so much "new cancer" present in our world. But, I can't leave--I worry about all my "old" friends and families.

God bless,Nancy C

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Nancy,

I'm sorry I didn't reply to this post when you first posted. I'm so sorry you are feeling terribly sad right now.

I won't try to pretend like I understand what it is like to lose a husband. I do know what it's like to lose someone you love to LC though- and what it's like to be overwhelmed with missing them and the harshness of a new reality without them in it.

Please know that we are always here for you. No one expects you to give or offer support to anyone- you already offer your friendship to so many of us.

Let us be here for you now.

Many hugs and prayers for you. Wish I were closer and I could do more.

Love,

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Nancy,

Glad you found you still can enjoy

life and had a good trip.

I made a trip last year without my

Mike and I am sure it will be the last

one for me, I just missed him so much

during the trip, but it was after when

I got home that it really hit me, I was

alone.

You have your son and Mike is living through

him.

The Gilda's Club could help you during

those down moments and bring back some of

the best souvenirs from your like with Mike.

Take care and be good to yourself.

Love

J.C.

that are there

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I do hope you do other trips. I know the first is hard without our husbands. :( But, life does go on for us. There are relatives to see, and sights we haven't seen yet. Don't give up on trips/traveling yet. Maybe, in the future you will be more ready to travel. God bless you, and thank you for your concern, Nancy C

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I have nothing useful to add. I just think you're such an amazing, beautiful soul Nancy. you're such an example to me. I remember when Mike died, you were still so present and sweet to all of us here. I am so honored to be a part of all of this.

love and prayers to you,

xoxo

amie

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Bunny, I couldn't stay away from this site. I worry too much about all of you and how you're doing. This gives me strenght. :)

my next problem is -my son wants me to go to Birmingham and have Thanksgiving at my sister's. And he'll be there too. I just am so afraid to be away from "home" for the holiday--being it will be my first without Mike. :( But, if I'm going to change tradiations--I might as well do it now.It's just scary --I'm afraid I might be a mess on the holiday. :? And, I like being at home where I'm comforty to cry my eyes out. i don't know what's right or wrong to do. It's a struggle. God bless,Nancy C

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